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Last Login:
January 15th, 2022

Gender: Female
Status: Single
Age: 16
Country: United States

Signup Date:
January 08, 2021



01/15/2022 03:28 PM 

Game day part 2
Current mood:  confident

I just got back from my basketball game and I am currently at the library wasting time so I don't have to be home so early while the sun is still out. I was suprised that I wasn't nervous when we were just about to go in and play our game against Whitney Young. I remeber being really nervous on my first volleyball game. That I still wasn't satisfied when I made a lot of aces. I got 7 rebounds back for my team! Even my coaches said I did really good today. It made me feel so good. I had a good day today. I laughed around with my teamates, Rashida, Sana, and Sara. I think I was more confident this besketball season than I was volleyball season. I'm more confident I can do better the next saturday game we have. I just need to work on my dribbling, being aware of what ''play'' were playing, and attempt to shoot the ball. I belive in myself that I can fulfill those goals. I was happy and all when I realized I had to go home. I hate home. Home is not a home for me anymore. I was hoping that I could finish getting ready for the day at my house this morning but then my mom started talking to herself and accusing me of sh*t I didn't do. I practically ran out the house while she was in a mid argument with me and I finished getting ready at a Whole Foods Market. I felt like a homeless person.I wish the good day I had didn't have to end so early. I hope my dad isn't here when I go home, I suspect he has a new job. Thankfully.

01/15/2022 08:50 AM 

Game day
Current mood:  nervous

First basketball game! I better f***ing kill this. 

01/13/2022 06:42 PM 

Lil week update
Current mood:  unhappy

Yesterday my counselor bought me deodarant and a lil mini travel kit and white socks. I do feel like she went a tiny bit overboard than I expected because all I asked was that "If the school had deodarant", but then they hadn't so then she offered to bring me one. She is so nice, I feel like I don't deserve all this kindness because all my life were always negative. Now I feel bad that I ditched her today for our weekly check up meeting. I didn't feel like talking about my feelings todaysad. WHY THE HELL WAS MY DAD AT THE LIBRARY TODAY! After basketball practice as over at 5:00pm I decided to go to the library to ckeck out more mystery/thriller books. I checked out 4 btw. And when I was registering, my dad was there waiting in line?! I don't understand why dad was there because he is definetly not the type to read. So why was he there? If I had to guess it was that he was probably there to use their computer for some sh*t. It was really weird, I was startled and a little scared when I saw him standing there pretending that I didn't exist and I was some random stranger walking by. He hates me. I thought I was doomed when I walked out the library but when I came home I didn't care that he saw me at the library. So what? I was checking out books in a library. He is still not home and I hope he doesn't come back until 11:50 like he did the other day he left. Im so happy looking at my grades in Aespen. I have 3 A's and rest of them are B's. I really can't fool around now because the end of the semester is in 2 weeks (January 27th). These are the grades that college admissions will be looking at. I also want to be able to be in this "Schular Scholar Program." I figured that would look good in my resumes for college, and if your accepted there is a 10 day camping trip they have. Which I would really love because I get to be away from them for 10 days.

01/11/2022 11:45 AM 

Whole Foods Market
Current mood:  adventurous

Here I am at a Whole Foods Market bathroom because my dad wnted me to leave an hour early than I was supposed to. My plan was to wake up at 9am to watch tv on my laptop so I would'nt miss the time on my chrome later. Then I would get reay at 11:50 so I could go to the library on time. I could've stayed at home and gotten ready there but he woke up too early . After being here I feel like this bathroom might be the place I can fully get ready in the mornings, I hate not brushing my teeth because my dad took away my morning bathroom privilages . I hope to god I dont run into my dad while I head over to the library now.

01/10/2022 04:24 PM 

I don't know anymore
Current mood:  lonely

So my dad had forbidden me from using my chromebook for entertainment purposes. You know the same chromebook but I watch movies on so I can forget how crazy my life is. Now the the only time I can use my chrome freely is when I wake up really early in the mornings so I could use it for a couple hours before he wakes up or when he is not home. My mom clearly doesn't have a problem with it so I dont get why he does. On saturday, January 8, I was watching a tv show on my chrome and my dad asked me "what I was doing on my laptop." I told him the truth and he went ballistic (angry) on me. To the point he THREW what he was planning on eating to the wall next, I  also had some foods peices on my bad too but not alot. He mde me clean up his own mess, and He also threatned to slap me. Im so tired of this family I really am tired. I noticed around that they are planning to kick me out and give me a lot of money so I can survive on my own. So now I have to find creative ways to use this chrome. But I also feel this will be good for me because this summer I am not going to have any tachnology to use. I plan to be workin all summer long to save up money to buy my own phone and new school supplies I'll need during the school year. My parents wont care for me and dad even said it himself. "YOU THINK IM GOING TO CARE FOR YOU!" - said my father

01/04/2022 05:13 PM 

I hate it here
Current mood:  scared

I hate my life.
Yesterday my brother ismael told my DAD that I scratched him,when I never went near him or close to him the whole day. Then my borther defended me and told my dad it was him, even if he did do it I would have been happy to take the blame becasue everything has to be my fault now. I definetly dont want my brother to caught up with this because I dont want him to have trouble. I would'nt wish this situation to my worst enemy. My "dad'' got angry and slappd my brother HARD multiple times because of how "stupid" he sounded. I felt so bad and guilty for him that during the time I was thinking about texting the police because it was just crazy. I felt scared for him and myself when my dad started to get close to me when he was arguing to me. I am still scared which is why im hiding in the Chicago Public Libary so I can go home at my original time which is at 5:50. He made me put my laptop away to go clean the bathroom and made me go to sleep  at 10:30pm. I couldn't go to sleep obviously. My heart was beating so f***ing loud and fast that it was impossible to calm myself down. Since I thought it couldn't get any worse that it already was, chicago is voting this evening so that if we could or could not quarantine for another 2 weeks since another virus spiked up high. When we already came back from our 2 week vacation holiday which was hell for me! I hope God or whatever higher power is on my side to NOT LET US QUARANTINE! Its 5:30 and I hope my dad didn't mean about me not using my laptop for entertainment purposes but school. AGH! I hate him! Ever since the situation started his true colors started to show. If we do quarantine I really dont want him to take the only thing that's keeping me sane which is my chrombook. Im still in the library and it is so peacful, Im definetly coming here again when I dont have any other things to do after school. 

12/31/2021 11:20 PM 

Happy New Year
Current mood:  gloomy

Happy Freaking New Year! 2021 was a bad year. At this time, 11:20pm a year ago, I would've been making cute tik tok drafts about me celebrating the new year (eyeroll). I was hopeful that this year things would've changed. Months later arriving in December, things were as sh*t as it was in March-July 2020. I had to move away to Chicago, Illinois and be away from my very best friends, I became depressed, and had to start my freshman year of highschool in a new school that I knew NO ONE in! Things were also starting to become weird again in my house. My parents accused me of stupid "witch-craftery" again that ruined my mental state and the relationship with my family (which i will never regain again). I'm not as excited during the new year as I was a year ago. I just know 2022 is going to be the worst year ever! A lot of sh*t is going to happen to me in 2022 and I have to be prepared for it. I'm afraid this will be the last full year I have with my family. My end of days are coming and I'm sad to say that I wont be with my family in the future 2023. I'm going to be all alone... 

12/12/2021 07:59 PM 

What do I do now?
Current mood:  betrayed

My parents hate me, and their indirectly saying to me they want me to move out. I have no one, whats the point of it all. He wants me to die or leave, but Im not leaving anytime soon. Ever since the situation started up again FOR THE 4TH TIME, his true colors started to show, If sh*t doesn't happen to what he wants it to, my dad will kill me one day, I just know it...

12/09/2021 11:25 PM 

Can it just end already
Current mood:  quiet

He says "im going to die" so many times its like he is trying to convince himself not me. I sometimes catch myself hoping it'll happen one day just I wouldn't have to deal with these crazies anymore. I just cant have one normal night withought his babbling. I just need to stay quiet so they can make crazy, stupid aussumptions about me freely, theres no point in defending myself when they're already so covinced.

12/07/2021 11:56 PM 

Out of control
Current mood:  gloomy

I feel like Im about to lose my head because they always talk nonsense everyday, everytime, everywhere. I just want to run and never look back, but there is nowhere to run. So Im just stuck. Cant wait wait till they fill my brothers head with lies.Luckest girl alive *sarcasm*.


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