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Jade

Last Login:
November 30th, 2023

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Gender: Female
Status: Single
Age: 18
Sign: Scorpio
Country: United States

Signup Date:
January 08, 2021

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04/03/2022 03:49 PM 

I don't want to go home.
Current mood:  melancholy

I'm at the library right now and I don't want to go home. I feel sad because I realized my life is really sad. For the past 5 minutes, I was just scrolling through people's Ig stories and compare my life to theirs. They all have fun lives and don't have to worry about where they're going to live because their parents hate them. Yesterday I lashed out and pushed my brother aggressively, because he was throwing stuff at me. And now I wish i didn't do that because it backfired on me. The stupid microwave also stopped working. I don't know what happened. It just had to stop while I was in the kitchen washing dishes. I'm scared and worried. What if I go home and the microwave still doesn't work? What will I eat? If my dad buys another one, will he forbid me from ever using it again? God, I hate my life! Every time a weird, unusual event happens, my dad always gives this "I'm not a bad person, I do good things to people that are a good person, someday you will die, my parents don't tolerate with witchness" speech. I always contemplate myself if I'm a witch or not and possibly end up crying about my life. I need to get out of here. It's not healthy for me to stay here. There accusations are getting into my head. I'm not free there. My family treats and looks at me as if I'm Satan. I HATE IT ALL! I feel tears coming through because I'm panicking plus a melancholy feel rap song came on Spotify right now. The library closes at 5 today and it's 4:01 pm. I could go back to Starbucks and just stay there until 7, but I always feel spotted there and uncomfortable. People come in that seem like they have stable lives and they don't look like a homeless person (AKA me). I JUST WANT TO LEAVE! I fear spring break too because I have to deal with them. But I have 2 good things planned so I'm also partly excited about spring break. I'm this close to running away. I'm tired of the bullsh*t. I hate my life. Sometimes I want to kill myself. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life.

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