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Last Login:
June 17th, 2022

Gender: Female
Status: Single
Age: 16
Country: United States

Signup Date:
January 08, 2021


01/04/2022 05:13 PM 

I hate it here
Current mood:  scared

I hate my life.
Yesterday my brother ismael told my DAD that I scratched him,when I never went near him or close to him the whole day. Then my borther defended me and told my dad it was him, even if he did do it I would have been happy to take the blame becasue everything has to be my fault now. I definetly dont want my brother to caught up with this because I dont want him to have trouble. I would'nt wish this situation to my worst enemy. My "dad'' got angry and slappd my brother HARD multiple times because of how "stupid" he sounded. I felt so bad and guilty for him that during the time I was thinking about texting the police because it was just crazy. I felt scared for him and myself when my dad started to get close to me when he was arguing to me. I am still scared which is why im hiding in the Chicago Public Libary so I can go home at my original time which is at 5:50. He made me put my laptop away to go clean the bathroom and made me go to sleep  at 10:30pm. I couldn't go to sleep obviously. My heart was beating so f***ing loud and fast that it was impossible to calm myself down. Since I thought it couldn't get any worse that it already was, chicago is voting this evening so that if we could or could not quarantine for another 2 weeks since another virus spiked up high. When we already came back from our 2 week vacation holiday which was hell for me! I hope God or whatever higher power is on my side to NOT LET US QUARANTINE! Its 5:30 and I hope my dad didn't mean about me not using my laptop for entertainment purposes but school. AGH! I hate him! Ever since the situation started his true colors started to show. If we do quarantine I really dont want him to take the only thing that's keeping me sane which is my chrombook. Im still in the library and it is so peacful, Im definetly coming here again when I dont have any other things to do after school. 

12/31/2021 11:20 PM 

Happy New Year
Current mood:  gloomy

Happy Freaking New Year! 2021 was a bad year. At this time, 11:20pm a year ago, I would've been making cute tik tok drafts about me celebrating the new year (eyeroll). I was hopeful that this year things would've changed. Months later arriving in December, things were as sh*t as it was in March-July 2020. I had to move away to Chicago, Illinois and be away from my very best friends, I became depressed, and had to start my freshman year of highschool in a new school that I knew NO ONE in! Things were also starting to become weird again in my house. My parents accused me of stupid "witch-craftery" again that ruined my mental state and the relationship with my family (which i will never regain again). I'm not as excited during the new year as I was a year ago. I just know 2022 is going to be the worst year ever! A lot of sh*t is going to happen to me in 2022 and I have to be prepared for it. I'm afraid this will be the last full year I have with my family. My end of days are coming and I'm sad to say that I wont be with my family in the future 2023. I'm going to be all alone... 

12/12/2021 07:59 PM 

What do I do now?
Current mood:  betrayed

My parents hate me, and their indirectly saying to me they want me to move out. I have no one, whats the point of it all. He wants me to die or leave, but Im not leaving anytime soon. Ever since the situation started up again FOR THE 4TH TIME, his true colors started to show, If sh*t doesn't happen to what he wants it to, my dad will kill me one day, I just know it...

12/09/2021 11:25 PM 

Can it just end already
Current mood:  quiet

He says "im going to die" so many times its like he is trying to convince himself not me. I sometimes catch myself hoping it'll happen one day just I wouldn't have to deal with these crazies anymore. I just cant have one normal night withought his babbling. I just need to stay quiet so they can make crazy, stupid aussumptions about me freely, theres no point in defending myself when they're already so covinced.

12/07/2021 11:56 PM 

Out of control
Current mood:  gloomy

I feel like Im about to lose my head because they always talk nonsense everyday, everytime, everywhere. I just want to run and never look back, but there is nowhere to run. So Im just stuck. Cant wait wait till they fill my brothers head with lies.Luckest girl alive *sarcasm*.

05/06/2021 04:18 AM 

Im here Chicago, IL
Current mood:  depressed

   Sorry, it took me this long to talk to my blog, I just didn't have the energy to come on here and vent. Yes, I'm here. I hate it here.  I hate the way we're living right now, every day is the same routine. Wake up, take out the trash, open the windows, scroll on Tik Tok for a while, brush my teeth and wash my face, go on my phone for the whole day, wash the plates, go on my phone (or shower), pray, sleep.  The same depressing routine I do EVERY DAY. I know past me would've expected me to be in school by now. BUT PAST ME IS WRONG. I'm depressed, I feel like sh*t every day, I also have a mental breakdown sometimes in the middle of the night. Overall, nothing is happening just the same old, same old poorness.

03/24/2021 06:18 PM 

Still here Texas
Current mood:  angry

  And I was right I was crying so hard on my last day of school. It was so emotional and that moment I had with my math teacher , Mrs. Bonnett made me cry so hard. That hug I had with her was so much needed. "It'll be an adventure" she said 😞. Now onto the point, just as we were about to move our luggage's to our car, THOSE BITCH ASSES DECIDED IT WAS TIME FOR THEM TO ARGUE. I HATE THEM SO MUCH, they've been whining and THE LAST 3 DAYS ABOUT HOW THEY CANT WAIT TO MOVE. I LITTERALLY FORCED MYSELF TO CRY. ON MONDAY WHILE WASHING DISHES SO I WOULDNT CRY ANYMORE, and now they want waste time! WE THREW AWAY OUR CHAIRS AWAY FOR GOD's SAKE HURRY THE F*** UP. Their just so toxic I hate them so much. 
  Even if I do move to Chicago what happens now. If "bad" things start happening guess who their going to blame? ME, BLAME ME WHN I DID NONTHING WRONG BUT ACT LIKE A TEENAGER!

03/21/2021 09:47 PM 

Goodbye Texas
Current mood:  happy

   I just realized this is going to be my last blog writing here in Texas. My dad is back from Illinois and yeah It's official we're moving on Tuesday and tomorrow is my last day of school.  I have a feeling tomorrow is going to be an emotional day. I know I said I am not going to miss anybody and I hate my friends but deep down I'll miss everyone. I'll miss the last 4 years I had in this place. I really didn't do anything but just cheer everyone on from home. I'll miss all my teachers especially my 6th-grade year. That was the best year I had, it was so much filled with drama and hot boys. That was also the year I had a little confidence in myself. I've made many mistakes while living here so it's needed that I have to move for a fresh start. I'm especially going to miss this 8th-grade year. This year was fun, I wish I stayed long enough for me to get a yearbook. I'm still going to keep my tabs on Dumas ISD, So I could see if I could order my yearbook. If not then that's okay I still have memories in my head. 
   I really hope is still around so I could read all these blogs when I'm older. I'm really hoping the schools in Chicago id not as bad from what I've read. 
   The best friends I had through the whole last 4 years.: Monicah Mijack, SaHeeDaBee, Kailey Kelsey, Shamim Kabengenyi, Meagan Encinias, Lesley Garcia, Gisselle Lopez.
   The biggest crushes I had the last 4 years: Jacob Shackelford, Imanol Marquez, Xzavian Sartain. 
Medium crushes I had: Ezven Venzor, Johnny Marquez, Kennon Walker, Joel Lozoya, Gisselle (Emiret) Beltran. ( She was hot okay)
  I just realized this is going to be the last night I use this Chromebook
                                                  CRINGE WARNING ALERT.
 Dear Chromebook you have always been good to me and always will be the best device to watch movies hope the next owner treats you well. 

03/20/2021 07:47 PM 

George B. Swift elementary school. p1
Current mood:  mad

    My dad said we are living in the same place we did before we moved to Texas. So yeah I  searched up the same school I used to go to and do you know what I just found out. It's a school where all 1st- 8th graders are all in 1 school. I f***ing hate that idea so much why would I want to be paired up with those kindergartners, I hate that idea so f***ing much. So I did some more research and that school looks like a strict ass school. They don't even have a football team only soccer or their own Instagram page that keeps up with all the events that are happening in the school. That school looks like it belongs to special needs kids. And I am nowhere near special. I just know this school sucks ass. It looks depressing as hell too. If I found out that nothing fun happens in that school, I'm switching to online school during covid and wait till I go to high school. I'm really hoping that the next year I go to high school it's more fun and has a lot more opportunities and clubs than this suck-ass school. And if Chicago sucks in general and they are no cute guys for me to have crushes on and no sports games like these Texas schools, I'm killing myself, HARD. I just now realized Texas is better than any other state. I like how texas still does what it used to do during covid. I just don't like drama-free, and mostly happy schools in general lol. That school looks lame and I'm hoping high school in Chicago is SO MUCH BETTER>

03/20/2021 02:32 PM 

Current mood:  worried

Something tells me, I shouldn't have done that. Now I'm worried, what if something goes wrong. If it does they'll know who to blame, ME!

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