07/04/2020 01:17 PM  new my skating started again and i also ordered new clothesssss i hope it fits yayyyy 0 Comments

07/04/2020 01:08 PM  errors way too many posts to correct its gonna drive me nuts  0 Comments

07/03/2020 11:39 PM  guilty motivation so two days ago i had this rush of motivation that made me do so many things and i felt so happy but yesterday i felt horrible one day because i didnt have anything to actually do ? and i felt bad about it so i slep all day i called that guilty motivation because yes when i actually do stuff im happy but when i dont i feel like a failure and it makes me want to do stuff but at the same time its exhauting and i dont do anything because im not competitive if theres a competition i will litteraly give up :) so i need to find my balance on that and not feel so guilty 0 Comments

07/03/2020 11:36 PM  project x if i could i would move away in a city where we are not ruled by todays rules and governement like live to be happy and fullfilles not to gain moeny maybe my uncle will help he gives me lots of advice on how to use money as tool and not a need i need to do more research thats to study more so im gonna put it under a special name 0 Comments

07/03/2020 11:33 PM  mixed also i have different personalities with people like with some im more open with other more cute with other "mean" i think its normal tho u cant always be the same like vibe but u have to stay yourself but the thing is with thoses people i want to merge my personalities because they are actually fonctional with my close friends u know like they work together theyre not that different 0 Comments

07/03/2020 11:25 PM  clean i used to feel like people are clean and i am dirty for various reasons but my vague of hapiness is making me feel clean  i am clean and free tho  i thank the universe  0 Comments

07/03/2020 11:01 PM  mixed hey so i definitely needed to talk about this cause way too many times mentionned  my changing personality  first we have the hihi daddy personality is it something i wish i could regain but is it cringe to me because i think theyr would make fun of me for being loving like "simping" but hhhharrrddd then we have my english character i created this character because of how oppressed i felt because of my own fear of judgement that came from air or maybe because of the girls that litteraly f***ed me mentally by leaving me all the time  but i think ive had that forever because my dad used to be very closed so i was always like denying any crush or anything lik that i wanted to be the perfect child because it made them happy i still do i am gonna choose a nice paid job for my dad to feel fullfilled because i myself dont know what i want to do with my life  so the english part when i start speaking english i feel like its safer because most of my close peopl wont understand its like protecting me from actual consequences and judgement and also i feel more myself but at the same who am i  the french version or the english one i need to morph them  somehow... then we have the i cant flirt in french well yes because i feel like they will make fun of me for what hdgbsjnqkldfjhgysh i dont know its very weird but reoccuring  i think its karma nicer nicer nicer i am  im scared to show myself for the same reasons like im also gonna do this theater thing to feel more confident hope it helps... i dont know if its because of the way i perceive myself like i see myself as ugly and not cute and i hate the way my body and clothes look on me like i image myself in 3rd view and i look ridiculous  i am the one i fear the most i should be confident i think i kinda look pretty sometimes and when i dress confident i feel like im cute and hot sometimes i see that maybe not so much but who cares if i feel confident  i also feel like im no one i hold no important place in anyones life not even mine... i most of the tie dont matter thats why im afraid of people leaving me  also i dont like being seen as lonely because of judgement again seen and not feel because i dont minf being alone i mind people thinking im alone.... this is all my fault... 0 Comments

07/03/2020 10:53 PM  THANKS this is litteraly therapie for me since i litteraly cant get therapie because it would make my parents feel bad and it cost way too much money but it would have helped me because since i was little ive always talked to myself a lot like stories debates everything but be myself and maybe it would have helped to talk about this stuff to someone even if i was just f***ed up idk what happened to me as a child but i was always be myself like its scaring how introvert for a kid i was i cannot relate to people saying they talked to everyine at school like no  so thank uuuuuu i love this blog 0 Comments

07/03/2020 10:52 PM  be bold BE BOLD BE CLASSY AS I AM 0 Comments

07/03/2020 10:46 PM  attachement i have attachement issues tho i know it doesnt make sense but  when someone leaves me i feel extremely bad even if i hate that person  i have something idk i just want to be liked maybe its linked to my fear of judgement because if im liking people will be nicer on their comments but  my abandonements issues with people i like make me doubt them if they dont give the reassurance i need  like i just wanna know im the only one as u are thats how i want to live now  and like i havent been faithful in my life because of my twitter phase why idk i just feel like i might be polyamourous but actually not because im extremely possesive even with my exes like i will litteraly try to seduce u again so i feel bettter ?????????????? this is nonsense  like why cant i accept someone is not part of my life anymore  idk its again validation because of my non confidence so i becoma attached easily to people who make me feel happy like or give me something i need so yeah issues    0 Comments

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