guilty motivation

so two days ago i had this rush of motivation that made me do so many things and i felt so happy but yesterday i felt horrible one day because i didnt have anything to actually do ? and i felt bad about it so i slep all day i called that guilty motivation because yes when i actually do stuff im happy but when i dont i feel like a failure and it makes me want to do stuff but at the same time its exhauting and i dont do anything because im not competitive if theres a competition i will litteraly give up :)
so i need to find my balance on that and not feel so guilty