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XxPoisonHeartxX

Last Login:
July 20th, 2018




Gender: Male
Status: In a relationship
Age: 16
Country: United Kingdom

Signup Date:
December 19, 2017


Subscriptions:

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07/19/2018 09:18 PM 

Single again..

Yeah, Cain broke up with me pretty fast.

He told me he couldn't see it working out, and that he needed to be by himself.
If I'm being honest then I'm pretty heartbroken, but I guess it wasn't a great relationship anyway.

07/15/2018 06:54 PM 

Hair!

I cut my hair, as I previously mentioned, and I massively regret it because now my fringe has died and it's gonna take another year to grow it back to how it was 

I only really did it because of everyone harassing me, ridiculing me, calling me a girl and a sissy and everything. I was fed up of it, and I changed myself instead of the way I saw things. Now I've lost the one thing I actually felt confident about and I'm massively insecure about how I look. I'm so annoyed with myself..

07/04/2018 07:41 AM 

MASSIVE LIFE UPDATE

OK, so a lot has changed in the time I haven't been using this due to my exams. (I finished them and all of them went super well!) The biggest thing I guess is that I left my previous partner Aimon. We're on good terms, but the relationship suddenly turned toxic and I knew it had to end. 

The other big news is that I got a new boyfriend as well! His name is Cain, and we've been together for about a month. I'm at his house right now, but I'll post a few pictures when I get home.

Also I cut my hair.. I was tired of my parents telling me to cut it and people telling me I look like a girl so I cut it and I massively regret that. After the summer ends, I'm gonna start growing it back. It feels really weird being able to like.. touch my head xD

I'm sorry it's been so long, I will try to be more active again! ♥

04/08/2018 03:21 PM 

16

In 4 days I will be 16 years old.

All through my childhood, I pictured him--
a vibrant and lively young man, a shock of hair blue as the sky.
I would imagine this man--
guitar in hand, ready to serenade his love,
an infinity of opportunities and happiness before him.
The times changed; I found myself drifting,
hopeless against the swell of the ocean,
its heaving motion led me into the darkness.
Electric hues faded to grey,
and his eyes lost their shine--
and so did mine.
In 4 days I will be 16 years old, and I am nothing like he was.
He shined so bright in my mind's eye like a star,
but he was carried away in the storm.
Maybe one day, as the driftwood reaches the shore,
he will return and join me.

03/24/2018 05:32 PM 

losing my mind

I'm not ready to change, I'm doing my thing
You're pointing the blame
You know I'm not ready to choose, so don't get confused
And stay the hell out of my way
So why do you believe
In everyone but me?
I'm losing my mind, losing my mind again

03/03/2018 03:30 PM 

A-2-Z About Me Survey

I lowkey stole this idea from Azazel oops

{---Basics---}

Name: Patrick
Nickname(s): Trick
Age: 15
Birthday: April 12
Birthplace: Poole, England
Current Location: Bournemouth, England
Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: Naturally brown, currently brown-black
Height: 5'10
Weight: 52kg
Lefty or Righty: Right handed
Zodiac Sign: Aries solar and lunar, Cancer ascendant
What Do You Drive: Nothing I'm 15
Screenname: ptvtrick, infiniteunknown, cvrcercity and xxpoisonheartxx


{---Favorites---}

Color: green
Number: 27
Band: Carcer City
Music Genre: Metalcore/Post Hardcore
TV Show: Hunter X Hunter??
Movie: The Nightmare Before Christmas or Beetlejuice
Actor: Patrick Stewart
Actress: Whoopi Goldberg
Kind of Movie: Anime movies
Cartoon: Steven Universe or Voltron
Sport: Volleyball
Fast Food Restaurant: Taco Bell
Food: Pringles
Ice Cream: Mango or strawberry
Cereal: Cheerios
Candy: Skittles
Drink: Bubble tea
Alcoholic Beverage: None
Quote: 'This is not what it is, only baby scars' - Second & Sebring


{---Do You---}

Have any siblings: Yes, 1 older sister
Have any pets: Yes, 4 cats and some fish
Have a job: Not yet
Have a cellphone: Yes, Galaxy S6
Have any special talents or skills: I can play several instruments and sing
Have any fears: Wasps, staplers and being replaced
Have a bedtime: Around 10pm
Sing in the shower: Always!!!
Want to go to college: If by college you mean university then no
Get along with your parents: No
Have any piercings: Not yet
Have any tattoos: Not yet
Swear: Far too much
Smoke: No
Drink: No
Do Drugs: No


{---Love & All That Crap---}

Ever been in love: Yess ♥
Ever cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend: No
Are you single: No
Are you in a relationship: Yes
Do you have a crush on someone: Pete Wentz
Ever been dumped: Yes
Ever dumped someone: Yes


{---This or That---}

Fruit or Vegetable: Vegetable
Black or White: Black
Lights On or Lights Off: Lights off
TV or Movie: TV
Car or Truck: Car
Cash or Check: Check
Rock or Rap: Rock
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
French Toast or French Fries: French fries
Strawberries or Blueberries: ..can I have both??>.<
Cookies or Muffins: Cookies *-*
Winter Break or Spring Break: Winter break! Christmas!!
Hugs or Kisses: Aghhh hugs???


{---Have You Ever---}

Danced in a public place: Yes
Smiled for no reason: All the time
Laughed so hard you cried: Yes
Talked to someone you don't know: Yes
Drank alcohol: Yes
Done drugs: No
Partied 'til the sun came up: No
Gotten a ticket: No
Been arrested: No
Been convicted of a crime: No
Been in a wreck: Yes
Been out of the country: Yes


{---Random & Silly Junk---}

Are you a virgin: No
Ever TP'd someone's house: No
Ever egged someone's house: No
How many languages do you speak: 2 at the moment, soon to be 3
Who do you compare yourself to: Everyone oops
Ever regret anything: Every second of my existence
Do you like being tickled: No who tf does
What are your goals: Become a performing artist and help people with my music
Are your fingers tired: Not really
Are you tired of this survey: Yes
Are you happy: What even is happiness

Take this survey -> https://www.pimp-my-profile.com/surveys/view.php?id=1901

01/30/2018 01:27 PM 

My kitty is unwell

Sherbert has hurt his foot. He severed a tendon in his foot and he might be lame for the rest of his life. He had to have 3 layers of stitches, my poor baby. He seems okay at the moment but I don't know when the anaesthetic will wear off..He can't go out for two months and he can't walk properly or move his toes or foot. It's horrible, they think he fell on glass or something. I'm really upset about it.

01/20/2018 02:38 PM 

Anxiety

I had a pretty bad day yesterday.

The rest of the week was alright enough but yesterday, I had what was quite possibly the longest panic episode I've had - it lasted around two hours. I'm exhausted even after getting nine hours' sleep last night.
I just want this to be over tbh

01/10/2018 08:30 PM 

..bad day.

I had a panic attack today.

It was worse than the one I had yesterday.
I felt it coming on in second lesson and I tried to ask to get out but the teacher didn't pay any attention to my hand in the air and by the time the lesson had ended I couldn't hold back my tears. I had to walk to the office and try not to bump into anyone and try not to let anyone see the state I was in, and when I got in there I just collapsed.
It didn't stop for maybe half an hour - I couldn't speak or move my legs properly, I kept having spasms and hitting my head against the wall. I was in a cold sweat and my chest was so tight I couldn't breathe. I felt like I was going to pass out.
I had to miss two lessons while the nurse gave me a lecture about how my anxiety's something I can control (it isn't) and how all I had to do was think positive. F*** OFF.
I did, however, get an exit card so that I can leave the class and go to the nurse's office for a bit and calm myself down.

It's so exhausting being put into fight or flight for so long every day, I can't handle it. I've been walking around like a zombie because no amount of sleep can prepare me for this. I really can't handle this anymore, I want it to go away..

01/06/2018 01:34 PM 

[no subject]
Current mood:  cold

I know I don't miss her. 

She hurt me, she broke me. 
She made me feel like nothing.
I miss being cared about. 
I miss having someone to talk to at 3 in the morning, I miss never being alone. I miss being so warm and full of light.
I'm better off without her, but I feel so empty.

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