DAMIPO1ZN

Last Login:
March 4th, 2024



Gender: Male
Status: Single
Age: 21
Sign: Taurus
Country: United Kingdom

Signup Date:
December 19, 2017

Subscriptions:

01/10/2018 08:30 PM 

..bad day.

I had a panic attack today.

It was worse than the one I had yesterday.
I felt it coming on in second lesson and I tried to ask to get out but the teacher didn't pay any attention to my hand in the air and by the time the lesson had ended I couldn't hold back my tears. I had to walk to the office and try not to bump into anyone and try not to let anyone see the state I was in, and when I got in there I just collapsed.
It didn't stop for maybe half an hour - I couldn't speak or move my legs properly, I kept having spasms and hitting my head against the wall. I was in a cold sweat and my chest was so tight I couldn't breathe. I felt like I was going to pass out.
I had to miss two lessons while the nurse gave me a lecture about how my anxiety's something I can control (it isn't) and how all I had to do was think positive. F*** OFF.
I did, however, get an exit card so that I can leave the class and go to the nurse's office for a bit and calm myself down.

It's so exhausting being put into fight or flight for so long every day, I can't handle it. I've been walking around like a zombie because no amount of sleep can prepare me for this. I really can't handle this anymore, I want it to go away..

01/06/2018 01:34 PM 

[no subject]
Current mood:  cold

I know I don't miss her. 

She hurt me, she broke me. 
She made me feel like nothing.
I miss being cared about. 
I miss having someone to talk to at 3 in the morning, I miss never being alone. I miss being so warm and full of light.
I'm better off without her, but I feel so empty.

01/02/2018 05:43 PM 

I Miss You (poem)

You stayed over on New Year's Eve.

It was really reassuring for me to wake up next to you, to feel your warmth emanating from the sheets, to feel warm breath on my neck as the sun came through the curtains.
I get anxious when you leave the room to go the toilet. I get anxious when I can't see you in a room of people. I get anxious when you're more than an arm's reach from me.
Imagine how I react every time you leave.
I can't control it.
I can't stop it.
I miss you.
I miss your lips on my forehead,
I miss your hand holding mine,
I miss your voice in my ear, whispering:
telling me that it's going to be okay, that I'm going to get through it.
I miss your arms- it seems cold without them.
I miss your eyes, stars reflected in your irises, shining hazel just for me.
I miss your freckles, stippled too closely to call them constellations, rather a galaxy of specks on your skin.
I miss your laugh, warm and deep. I miss your jokes and how you repeat them until they're not funny anymore.
And I can't distract myself, because when I try and think of something nice all that comes to mind is you
And so I think of you- your skin, your lips, those scars that you promised me never to renew-
It's Tuesday, and I miss you.

12/21/2017 10:07 PM 

Idk I had a good day
Current mood:  happy

I had a good day today and I just wanted to share it I guess ^~^

After school finished I went to Greggs with my friends (their soup is AMAZING) and my friend got me a new potted plant for Christmas!! we went back to my house to play Wii and my boyfriend was there which was nice :3 We all played Wii together and I won the game! I just feel really happy and sleepy and aghh :3 

How's everyone else's days been??

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