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07/22/2018 07:34 PM 

this is the perfect use of my time
Current mood:  worried

i have 2 things of homework due as term has started up again. 
one of these is 4 days late, which is 40% off the mark im going to be getting. 
i emailed the teacher about it and she said it matters more that i research the guy the task is about than me getting it into her, which is probably to get me to actually hand it in unlike the other time we had a task like this. 
im mostly done with the actual research, but one section of this task we need to do is analyse two of the guys artworks. 
this is easier since i can look up what its meant to be about and what other people think it is and stuff but that's where my motivation's faltered. 
this isn't even the only task i have. 

the other over-the-holidays thing that i did not remember and thus didn't do was an essay task in english lit. 
it's about australian literature, the best kind of literature to think or do anything about, clearly. 
it's only 1000 words but i probably need to do the art task first (which i am stuck on) before i should do this one. 
it's due tomorrow, so at least it's not late. 
the teacher says she cares about me but she also said it in a way that feels like she doesn't really care about me. 
she said to ignore my marks that i got last semester cos they're in the past (cool, works ok) because i'm going to work way worse if i'm feeling super bad like i was because i got 10/25 on a spoken panel discussion (which i mostly blame because i was unable to get a word in because everyone else is more confident than i am at the things i know about). the marking key itself (which the teacher said she didn't like) had a guideline of 12 marks as the minimum score, as the "limited" section had it as the lower bound of marking if you gave all limiteds. 
it shouldn't have made me so distraught, and i was berating myself for crying and stuff and i'm not entirely sure if my self harm was genuine or attention seeking, but i was just a mess at that moment.
anyway. she said i wouldn't be able to do work as well if i was as distraught as i was (which is true) but because of how she said it it felt less genuine and more a push to do something so i could be a good student. 
thinking of it like that makes sense in the background but putting it into words like this makes me question what her motivation should be? does she want me to be a better student because she cares about me for some reason or is it that she wants a better average for her class to show off how good at teaching she is or what?
whatever it is, i still feel like im a lost cause for any help.

anyway can everyone yell at me to do work

vent, venting, personal, procrastinating, flashing, school,


07/21/2018 11:55 PM 

Something Happened

July 21, 2018

   Well...I saw her at work. She had her purple dyed hair tied back as opposed to having it near her eyes. It was like that when I saw her the last time too. She saw me and I waved. I said hi but it was weak, under my breath. She was with someone, a friend or something. I kept walking after that but I wanted to talk. I wanted to hug her tightly and not let go. But I kept walking...why? Once I was in the back of the store I realized what I just did (or didn't do for that matter) and how stupid it was and hurried up to the front of the store. She was gone. 
   I just want to know what is going on. I need some closure. Am I just overthinking? Is everything okay and I'm taking things way out of proportion? At this point I don't even know. I want to know. I spend every day making ideas up in my mind as to what is happening. It's a really terrible thing to do but I keep doing it. I just want to have things go back to the way they were. I want to hold her again, not thinking about what's going wrong, if anything is wrong at all. She says everything is okay.
   The entire rest of the evening at work was so stressful, only because I was thinking about what happened. My heart was beating a thousand times a second. I just had to go home. I finally left work at 9:00. The whole time I kept thinking about her and what just happened. I miss her. I love her. This summer has done nothing but make things go wrong. I just want to be reassured that it's okay. But I don't know if it is.


07/21/2018 05:49 PM 

House on Fire - Rise Against
Current mood:  gloomy

So I'll just hold you like a hand grenade
You touch me like a razor blade
I wish there was some other way right now


07/20/2018 12:22 PM 

Alphabet Game
Current mood:  bored

If you're reading this, repost it with your own version of the alphabet and a blank version!! Don't give any same answers as the person you've copy/pasted this from!
(made by May Skelly, user id 220780 - taken from ........)

Vivvy's version of the alphabet!

A is for androids are better than iphones imo
B is for butt jokes will never not be funny
C is for crying glowstick juice is my aesthetic
D is for dying is overrated
E is for everyone deserves basic human respect!
F is for fuuuuuuuuuck the public education system
G is for geese are weird
H is for hello kitty
I is for i eat too many sweets
J is for Julian Casablancas
K is for kms
L is for lychee boba
M is for mental health matters!! and mine is failing oops
N is for nope
O is for oof
P is for phone apps, friendproject needs one
Q is for queens, all of u
R is for r*tard is a slur and needs to be treated like one
S is for shiitposting
T is for time, which im running out of
U is for uranium.... BOMBS!!
V is for Vampire Weekend broke up and im sad
W is for why? 
X is for xanax didnt work for me, so now im always anxious (((:
Y is for your mom gay
Z is for zoned out


If you're reading this, repost it with your own version of the alphabet and a blank version!! Don't give any same answers as the person you've copy/pasted this from!
(made by May Skelly, user id 220780 - taken from ........)

...................'s version of the alphabet!

A is for
B is for
C is for
D is for
E is for
F is for
G is for
H is for
I is for
J is for
K is for 
L is for 
M is for
N is for
O is for
P is for
Q is for
R is for
S is for
T is for 
U is for
V is for
W is for
X is for
Y is for 
Z is for 

alphabet game,


07/19/2018 05:01 PM 

Internet Junkies (Science perspective edition)

Hope this collection of pictures will give you a neat perspective of some science topics (Yes I know it's imgur, too modern, but you will like these)

>Pythagorean Theorem (math): https://imgur.commoDHTKh

>If a giant disco ball at the same distance of ISS revolved around Earth (astronomy):

>Visualization of when you take a photo with a phone (engineer): https://imgur.comoC8j4Kn

>How many people are born vs. how many died in history (Statistics):

>Laminar flow (Physics) ignore the caption to avoid a spoiler:

>Cross Sections (Earth/Chemistry):

>Re-framing Perspective (Reconsidering assumptions)

That's all I got, hope you enjoy.

Science, mind-blowing shit


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