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Day 2: Sometimes I feel like my friends dont really care. I mean they probably to. I guess its more of a feeling of they dont want to be with me and would rather be with one of our other friends. Like personalized names for someone else but not for me. Which is fine i dont really care but then last night I was going through a list of my friends and thinking who should i talk to cuz it was somewhat of a rough day and i needed a hug. I was feeling super annoying and unwanted. i was at my friends house last night and i felt like she didnt rly want me there and kinda wanted me to leave which was fine i did lol. So i was going thru my friends ya and i was like nope can't talk to her shes talking to sumone else and wont respond to me. cant talk to her either i alr opened up to her and she made me feel worse. cant talk to her either bc she will annoy me and just smile about it. and so i was kiinda stuck because i was like wow i really have no one to talk to. so i started talking to this one friend and i said some pretty deep stuff and they legit said ok well i have to go to bed gn ttyl. wut? after i just pured myself out u have to go to bed? kinda rude but ok wutever. so then i stayed up till i was exhausted cuz i cant fall asleep cuz anxiety and panic attacks. then in the morning it was just like a lull day and my parents were rly annoying and my mom was rly bugging me and they kept yelling and i was super pissed so ya today was kinda ruff.

entaglement anyone ??? lol

| Category: Rant | I find it weird and fascinating how music can change someones emotion. It can make someone lose themselves in many different ways. Sometimes even physically from this wretched Earth. Other times people lose themselves in a positive way whrere time defies itself and goes on by. Either way, those who make music to that extreme are rather the strongest ones to exist as they know the the human emotions better than anyone else.

Andre's helping me figure out Trina's birthday gift! 

I feel like when I live in the pastits just a vacation from the presentI know sooner or later I'll have to go backthe boat is docked and readythe gate is calling my name through the speakers the planes about to leave but I rather fake a snow storm or die tryingwe promised each other we will meet againall these conversations we have in our head.your eyes keep on me until the curtain fallsyou wake up to your brand new worldand I'm still waiting for you to return leave a note before you go so I won't be tempted When I'm here, I find excuses to remember youexactly the way it was when I first met youI try to find little signs, pictures in time anything to keep you close.Its been well over a decade since you were relevantsince I had any kind of chance to slip right throughbut I blame it all on fate. It's easier that way.you start to question why you even bother to tryto keep searching, to keep the little things close you can't let go; your not suppose to let goAm I just missing you and the time attached?or is there a reason your still relevant?its hard sometimes when the fog is densewhen your life is just fine enough to live it I dress myself up just to see if this is the daythat my feelings for you will finally fadein fact, I look for you in hopes you'll let me gobut each and every time, I leave feeling even more aloneeven more longing, even more sure its not overI know if the moment ever comes, I'll have to be readybut I truly can't ever see that happeningyouve had all these chances to prove it's not meant for you to be like every other memory that feels nostalgic but you're more. You feel like so much more than that. your like history but without the timeAnd I know you were never truly mine.It doesn't make it any less authentic I hope the day never comes when your just nostalgia.josie K 

okay but have yall listened to slowed-reverb song like brO they're the best 

Hey loves 

if you're reading this, let's be friends!! i can send u cute messages, give you song recommendations or talk about fashion (whatever u want honestly) so yeah  (˶◡‿◡)

bookclub 1Morgan Charmely: Teen Witchto sum up this novel, Morgan Charmely, a young teen witch who has proven that shes got control over her witch powers which means shes fianlly allowed to go to a normal school. But, will she be able to make friends, fit in with non witch teens and will she be able to resist the use of her powers? 

i finally ordered my first binder

WEJLGHNER OMG I CANT EVEN MAKE THIS SH*T UPso FIRST OF ALL. i saw a tiktok about sh*te singers who think they're good and tagged one of my school-bullies because YES and drama happened i- yup my mom went undercover and fought with me isgnweg-BUT THATS NOT EVEN THE BEST THING THAT HAPPENED TODAY-so a few days ago (like..2) this korean man messaged me and my friend so we played along just messing around and making them mad by telling them to kidnap us and stuff bla blaBUT TODAY I WAS BORED AND CALLED THEM AGAIN- IT AINT NO KOREAN MAN, ITS 3 NIGERIAN MEN. MHM. THEY WERE ALL IN BED TOGETHER IDEK WHY (nohomo) i- im scared- KSJSKJ XD they were shouting at me because i took a picture of them to show my friend. but now we have their IP adress, their faces and we're going to expose them as whatever they are (scammers-pedos-traffickers(?))and even tho i only like girls- them yelling at me mixed with my daddy issues was kinda ♥ ngl 

i want to go to the mall now dude this sucks cuz my friends probably arent gonna want to for a bit -_-

how does this work how do i do ANYTHING

What's your name spelled backward?MeWhat did you do last night?doodled what i call a 'chaos canvas'The last thing you downloaded onto your computer?pics I guessWhat do you look forward to this winter?ehh probably nothingHave you ever licked a 9-volt battery?why would iLast time you swam in a pool?not sureWhat are you wearing?shirt and shortsHow many cars have you owned?1Type of music you dislike most?hmm gospel, i'd say country but it's growing on meWhy are those people always screaming?idk tell them to stfuAre you registered to vote?yesDo you have cable?no need if i have netflixWhat kind of computer do you use?dell laptopEver made a prank phone call?nahYou like anyone right now?my ex gf :/Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?bungee sure, skydiving probably noFurthest place you ever traveled?nycWhat's your favorite comic strip?dumbing of ageDo you know all the words to the national anthem?yeaShower, morning or night?nightBest movie you've seen in the past month?idk, dont really watch moviesFavorite pizza toppings?pepperoni and hella cheeseChips or popcorn? popcornWhat cell phone provider do you have?tracfoneHave you ever smoked peanut shells?huhHave you ever been in a beauty pageant?noOrange Juice or apple?appleWho were the last people you sat at lunch with?my catFavorite chocolate bar?hersheys, i dont really like sweetsWho is your longest friend and for how long?i'm not sure, i guess anyone i still talk to from high schoolLast time you ate a homegrown tomato?ew i hate tomatoHave you ever won a trophy?ya for nice hairFavorite arcade game?ddrEver ordered from an infomercial?nopeSprite or 7-UP?spriteHave you ever had to wear a uniform to school/work?yeahLast thing you bought at Walgreens?not sureEver thrown up in public?noWould you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love?loveDo you believe in love at first sight?kinda??Did you have long hair as a young kid?YeahWhat message is on your voicemail machine?idk.Where would you like to go right now?caliWhat's the name of your pet?gibbousHow did you get your pet?gifted, they were gonna take him to the pound bc he was in an unwanted litterWhat kind of backpack do you have, and what's in it?got a few but they got like, essential stuff igWhat do you think about most?my ex tbh

i ♥ ♥ ♥ manifesting. its crazy but it works and i am so grateful