02/13/2021 12:48 AM  obligatory sad valentine post valentine's day is tomorrow, aka everyone's favorite coorperate invention ;) not trying to be that person who's "lonely on this day" btw; i've had the same ideology this whole time. oh who am i kidding? it would be really nice if someone held me rn LMAO. i used to think valentine's day was fun!! yk before i knew what love was. and now since i don't have it it's taking a toll on me. curse affection for being my love language (ew). remember when we were kids and eveyone was equally affectionate, giving out candy n cards to each other even if you didn't know them? i miss that!! that was the most wholesome day every year!! now i can't even give my friends hugs or flowers on this day without them being wack :( im not trying to get at you it's literally a holiday hello not everything is about you smh. i think it'll be good to spend valentine's day alone this year tho. like i said i didn't used to care about it until i started having a reason to celebrate the day with another person a couple years ago, so what makes this any different? do i miss being cared for? duh. but you know what? i can care for myself!! i really do want to turn this day into a positive instead of questioning if anyone cares about my existance and if im good enough for people. i have every other day to do that ;) i might update in a few days. or not who knows lol. peace.  0 Comments

02/04/2021 06:41 AM  good afternoon, good evening, n goodnight the sunrise looks gorgeous this morning. apart of me wants to fix my sleeping scheduel after almost 2 months of the same "routine" but the other part of me likes ending my day while the sun starts it's [day]. something about it is comforting. i don't like how lonely it can be though. most of my friends are asleep at this hour except for the internet ones. it's funny because i when i'm tired at a reasonable time - let's say 1 or 2am - and try to sleep, i get really anxious and wake up because everyone's awake. like, my subconcious thinks i can miss something while i'm gone idk. yet when i go to bed at mY normal time - now - it's easier. before, it was the other way around due to sleeping in so late for the same anxious feeling. now i've adappted. isn't that strange? ig not so much when i type it out lol it kinda makes sense now. anyway, im gonna try to sleep n debate if i should change up the sleeping patterns. peace. 0 Comments

01/30/2021 09:41 PM  loser in need of $$$ excuse me for talking out of my ass but i am BORED. i want to changeee. my mutuals have told me countless times that i'm different from last year and the years prior but i think i look relatively similar?? idk, i just feel like i haven't changed as much as they think. anddd of course i'm gonna think that cuz i'm... well me. i don't want to do anything dRASTIC like shave my head, but maybe a little hair dye would suffice. i haven't dyed my hair in a fat minute and i really miss it :( i wish i knew how to do my eyebrows better, but everything comes with practice right? actually, i used to think i was naturally sh*t at eyeliner, like there was no hope for me. turns out i just have hooded eyes. f*** hooded eyes. point is, i got better so it's all just work and patience. unfortunately. anyway im gonna go and probably make a bad desicion i'll regret later because i can't be who i want to be atm. wow jess you're so quirky. thanks jess i know. peace. 0 Comments

12/29/2020 09:20 PM  let's f*** to deftones Current mood:  melancholy oKAYY GUYSSS EEEEEE let's just say that ever since i started listening to these foos i have felt nothing less than magical. not many bands can do that!!! very f***ing happy to experience these feelings again; it's like... they can't make a bad song (like current joys hellooo). words can't describe it. i feel soooo nostalgic it's like i heard these songs in a past life or something. sooososo glad the first time i listened to deftones i was high; made everything 10 times euphoric. anyway, can we f*** now? did i persuade you enough? this isn't directed to anyone in particular. or is it? ;) peace. p.s. currently ascending n going through every emotion  0 Comments

12/27/2020 05:22 PM  sickly sweet holidays i hope everyone had a good holiday this past month!! surprisingly this year's christmas was wayyy better than last years, i think bc there were less people. thanks covid... ig. the gifts i recieved were really dope too!! you know what time it is? i think it's haul time :D i got a new flat iron, some cash, earrings (even tho my ears aren't peirced lol), chocolate, a phone case, superbad on blue ray, some old clothes of my mom's, and a kanken bag!!! i can finally look like the pretentious film major i aspire to be. anyway, everything was going great till yesterday when i bROKE MY GLASSES  are we really surprised tho? my mom made me feel better by taking a drive to look at christmas lights while stoned as hell, so it wasn't all bad. ok well my food just got here so i gtg. jesenia? eating? ik, ik i can't believe it either. peace. 0 Comments

12/23/2020 09:04 PM  'lifesabath' remastered yooo it has been wAY too long!! i updated a few things on the page, not like anyone's even looking at my sh*t tho, but i sure think it's a pretty revamp. how is everyone? i hope better than i've been these past 6 months. gosh. that is a long time. not many things have changed yet so many things are different, and i wish i knew how to explain that. due to my fear of moots reading this stuff, i'll leave out the big details on what's been going on... but i will say that i've grown a lot. i know that's hard to imagine since it's only been 6 months, but shiitttt half a year is a long time. i try to be optimistic about this stuff let me be. anywayz, it's f***in christmas eve tomorrow wtf lol. i have to go to this lil thing at my aunt's house that im lowkey dreading so we'll see how that goes. only one more week till this god forsaken year is over. i can't wait! hope ya'll have a good holiday. peace. 0 Comments

06/29/2020 03:02 PM  there is no blog post, take off ur clothes. i've been sensing a pattern with what i like to talk about: for the past month it's been the garden, jackass, depop, and how i miss my friends. but what else is new? didn't end up going to kaos yesterday (shocker i know), but it's fine because i realized that cleaning my room is more important. why would i go out of my way and purchase things when i don't even have a place to put the stuff i already own? i hope my ideology makes sense. anyway, due to a freak accient with my charger and foot (see told yall i needed to clean), i can't really walk much. not that it matters much during these circumstances but i miss being able to function properly. i miss my life. okay jess that's a bit dramatic don't you think? you're right jess, i miss my old** life. oh jeez, the schizo is kicking in. anyway pt.2, i don't even know if this was an update. i guess i can count this as a mere ramble. ah i love wasting everyone's time, including my own. peace. 0 Comments

06/27/2020 02:47 PM  kaos trip visiting the record shop today!! i had a feeling we weren't gonna go to the beach lmao. it's understandable tho; college do be hard. anyway, kaos is like my second home. i really hope they let me work there one day. everything about it is great, but that's for another blog post. i was thinking about snagging a few more posters for my room, i just don't know what kind. since i did laundry yesterday i can go quick, but right now we out here vibing to the buttertones. miss those guys. i'll update yall when i get  back!! this post wasn't very thought out but i guess that's what makes it more genuine... or just proves my one of many lazy  posts to come. peace. 0 Comments

06/26/2020 03:35 PM  pov: ur my calendar soo im gonna go see larissa in a few hours which is Exciting!! but im dreading the laundry im putting off rn. we're gonna go to miss tea in downtown then chill at her place. i've never been to that boba shop before so im hoping it's worth my time and $$ im still suffering the consequences of last night but it was really fun so worth it. two days in a row of boba drinks? sure. angie, dayanara, and i went to this view after that was hella sketch, but we smoked a ton at the airplane park to make up for the events prior. i was mad out after awhile. so mad out that i called alex when i got home cuz i was bored. poor thing had to witness my state lmao. i honestly don't even know how i was walking. angie didn't kill us in her car either so that was nice. tomorrow *knocks on wood* im hanging out with them again at laguna. on sunday edward wanted to have a sesh w me and sonia, and she doesn't know if she wants to go full goth or not. lazy ass don't wanna put in the effort. im kidding. ily sonjaaa. ughhhh i should probably go start my load rn (HAHAHshut up.). peace. 0 Comments

06/26/2020 02:42 PM  i have to name these? i feel like im just gonna use this as a second spam account, even a diary, if you will. a public one. a cooler one. it took me so long to find out how to write a blog post LOL. i guess that's what i get for joining friendproject so late. my sis actually had one back in '08, and i used to go on her acc w/o permission but that was ok. it'a dope seeing this site make a comeback, hate tiktok (with a passion) tho. i didn't even make one because of it but whateverrrrr. anyway, im stuck in the past 24/7 so this is just another thing to better that mindset i have. idek who will see this, or if anyone cares but i dON'T. have a good day... or night idk where you live. peace. 0 Comments

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