09/04/2020 11:42 PM  Confessions part 1 Current mood:  disappointed Confessions of a dumbwhore part 1 I think I'll problem do multiple of these but, here's the first one as of my time on friendproject. I am way more (currently) attracted to my coworker than my partner. Not to say I don't find my partner attractive and not to say I don't feel very very guilty about it, but it is what it is for now. I'm not going to act on it but it's annoying. Like I feel like it's partially because me and my partner are so busy we don't get to see each other much and I see my coworker at this point more than I see my partner. It's still upsetting. I think it is also partly because it's around the time of year some very bad things happened in our relationship and I feel distant. Anyways.  I mean they're is also being very nice to me at work, like nicer than any coworker (unless they were interested in me sexually) have ever been? Like checking on me because I looked overwhelmed just saying nice things idk. It just feels nice. Not to mention they're very pretty. Like they aren't my time but everyone is my type after I get to know them enough but like they are very very conventionally attractive and it's nice to feel like I'm getting some attention from a very conventionally attractive person. Especially, because I do not view myself as conventionally attractive or any kind of attractive. (I know some people do but I do not and that is completely okay).  It just feels nice and I hate myself for it.  Also I only feel okay posting this because I have two jobs so no one will know who who is except me.  0 Comments

09/02/2020 06:35 PM  Tattoo!!!! Current mood:  excited I'm getting my new tattoo tomorrow and I'm very excited. I've had the idea for like 6 ish months so it's about damn time. I was going to get a tattoo in april/late march but then quarantine hit and my savings went so I had tog et some sh*t in order and wait for things to re open a bit before making my appointment. Ugh I'm so excited. My appointment is at 12 and I think it'll take like 1 to 2 hours. Probably closer to one since there's not a lot of color in it and it's mostly line art and traditional tats don't have much shading or at least not enough that'll take a serious amount of time. I'll post pics of them on my stream afterward tomorrow so stay tuned losers.  0 Comments

09/02/2020 06:35 PM  Tattoo!!!! Current mood:  excited I'm getting my new tattoo tomorrow and I'm very excited. I've had the idea for like 6 ish months so it's about damn time. I was going to get a tattoo in april/late march but then quarantine hit and my savings went so I had tog et some sh*t in order and wait for things to re open a bit before making my appointment. Ugh I'm so excited. My appointment is at 12 and I think it'll take like 1 to 2 hours. Probably closer to one since there's not a lot of color in it and it's mostly line art and traditional tats don't have much shading or at least not enough that'll take a serious amount of time. I'll post pics of them on my stream afterward tomorrow so stay tuned losers.  0 Comments

09/01/2020 04:58 PM  College during covid is a trip I'm at my comics and graphics novels class right? like literally right now. I should be taking notes. It's literally me and two dudes in a 30 person lecture. I'm crying.  0 Comments

08/30/2020 02:55 PM  Help Why is making friends so hard??? Like I only talk to people at work and in my research group but we never hang out outside of those settings and Idk how to change that. Like I don't want to be annoying but i am very lonely. Also, I have online friends who goto the same school as me but i don't think they'd ever want to hang out in person, and im too afraid to ask them to hang outwith meeeee. Ugh. Parasocial relationships with bands and youtubers is so much easier but not quite as fulfilling.  0 Comments

08/28/2020 04:20 PM  Bands who can spit in my mouth <3 Current mood:  excited This is my official statement of permission and enthusiastic consent in no particular order  Knocked Loose (Issac almost kicked me in the face at a show last October and it was great)  Ayesha Erotica Palaye Royale Heart Attack Man Grimes  Machine Girl  Black Dresses Prince Daddy and The Hyenas  BTS Black Pink  Machine Gun Kelly Johnny Goth Bring Me The Horizon  I will continue to add to this  0 Comments

08/26/2020 01:55 PM  It's the second week of class I have so muhc homework and so muhc of it doesn't make sense. Like I have a short paper on Hawkeye #1 "Lucky". Like idk what my thesis is gonna be for it but it was a good comic. I've never been super invested in hawkeye but I was very endeared by this issue. It was cute and made me wanna read fanfics. Not MCU fanfics, comic fan fics. Ugh 0 Comments

08/24/2020 03:11 PM  It's my birthday Heart Attack Man told me happy birthday this morning and that's the finally straw. I am in love with Eric Egan(?) from Heart Attack man and you can stop me. The man has beef with Waffle House and is banned from DC for threatening to jump over the biden trump debate on a dirt bike. I want Eric to punch me in the face and tell me to have a good f***ing morning. No, I don't have issues where I overly attach myself with parasocial relationships. I'm 20 god dman years old if I want to pine over a stranger that's what i'mma f***ing do.  0 Comments

08/21/2020 04:06 PM  ANyways I'm almost done with my physics homework but does ANYONE know where to buy human teeth? I want to make a necklace.  0 Comments

08/19/2020 09:03 PM  I've had it up to HERE with my subconscious So, I have a very weird dream. It involved a band I like, specifically the lead singer (I know I'm a f***ing groupie). It is probably just cause I've been reading a lot of fanfiction lately. Not about them, reading about real people makes me uncomfy. I've been reading about my latest anime crush...ah yes zombie flame boi makes my head EMPTY. Especially when it involves my fav AU's, but I don't feel like being judged so I'm not going to list them here. Anyways. It was just odd. Like everyone was acting like me being there was normal and like it was at my parent's house but like, no it wasn't. My parent's house is tiny like my old 2 bedroom apartment was 2/3 the size of my parent's house. Everything was like weirdly domestic. Like chilling/cuddling on the couch. Making me food. Dumb sh*t. Also, I can't remember if the party was for my birthday (which is monday) or me getting engaged.  Like, what's wrong with me?  0 Comments

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