10/20/2021 03:39 PM  one year later... Current mood:  catalyzed It has been over a year since my last post on this account. Time has flied by so fast and it is crazy looking back at my old post and viewing how much my life has changed. I graduated high school and am now 19 years old studying to get my real estate licence so my parents can stop bugging me about getting my life together because i am no longer in school and in their eyes i am an adult who should've moved out already. I am no longer with my ex who i claimed i was falling in love with, that wasn't love, it was lonely. But... things are much better now. I met ilyjah and we are going to be celebrating being together for half a year this upcoming week. I let go of one of my closest and dearest friends because our lives just seemed to not be aligned anymore. I am feeling somewhat happy, but also very anxious because I have no idea what I am doing in life right now. Then again I am only 19 and i have a lot of time to figure that out. Its just hard when you have parents who already had a kid, a house and a spouse by the age of 19 and they expect me to be there with them as well. Jokes on them though because I got an abortion because I am not ready for all of that yet. In my eyes I should still have time to figure these things out before settling down with all those familial responsibilitys. I just want to enjoy my life, expand my wardrobe, make memories with my one best friend, and live my life to the fullest with my soulmate while we have amazing sex. I guess that can happen but it seems harder to achieve when I have a full time job, am paying bill after bill and have children. That day will come when I will have to balance out everything, but in the meanwhile that just isn't me and what i want for myself. Sometimes I wish my life was like those coming of age movies where the girl figures out what she is going to do with her life by the end of the movie, but then you never stay to think what happens after that. If she really does live happily ever after at the end, or if she begins to struggle once more the moment the credits pass by. I guess im going to figure that out as I get older. 0 Comments

06/30/2020 10:29 PM  one direction Current mood:  excited one direction was a big part of my childhood, i grew up listening to them, i had fan accounts on instagram and twitter dedicated to the band and larry stylinson, i watched all their video diaries to the point i have them all memorized, i stayed up late at night reading wattpad stories of them, when i tell you i was obsessed with these boys, i was obsessed with these boys my walls were filled with posters of them i had clothes, school supplies, everything of them and after they went on their hiatus i continued to be a fan of the rest of the boys and even went to a harry styles concert. People always made fun of me bc i believed they'd come back but no one believed me. and guess what, ONE DIRECTION IS GOING TO HAVE A TV SPECIAL JULY 23 2020 WHICH MARKS 10 YEARS SINCE THEIR CREATION AND THEY ARE ALSO GOING TO RELEASE NEW MUSIC!!!!! maybe 2020 is turning around for the better 0 Comments

06/26/2020 02:53 PM  my thoughts Current mood:  high I remember back in elementry school i used to always watch all the high school musical movies on repeat, hsm3 was different tho, it was the end of an era so ofc it needed to turn out amazing, which it did, what i liked most about the movie wasn't the fact that gabriella was leaving bc bitch wants to leave in every movie. My favorite thing about hsm3 is Sharpays opening scene, incase you're not apart of Gen Z and you don't remember this iconic scene...it opens up with Sharpay pulling into school in her white convertable with a license plate reading "FABULUS" then it shows her strutting into the school halways passing teen boys of all grade and as she walks by them all eyes are on her, some even fall down a little because they are so star struck by her presence. THAT is what i want for my senior year, i want people to look at me in awe as i pass by them, i want my presence to be known, i want to be appreciated, and idk if this sounds concieted or anything but the past 3 years have been a little sh*tty and all i want for my senior year is to get confidence like Sharpay Evans and have the best possible senior year, and im praying that rona disappears and never comes back so that i can have an amazing last year of school and be able to go on actual dates with my boyfriend since everything is so bad rn. I also need to figure outways to go protesting without my parents finding out, it is so hard that they are against the movement and ive been signing all the petitions i see but i feel like it still isnt enough, i want to go and help people fight against all this injustice because nothing will ever be able to get better in any way virus or no virus until white supremacy is crushed, the government is taken down, the police is defunded,the simpsons theory ab trump is true and I.C.E. is gone once and for all along with all the human trafficking with the upperclass rn. because how are we going to ever become the best versions of ourselves if we don't help others become their best versions and no one can become their best version of themselves when they are in constant fear of their life. 0 Comments

06/25/2020 12:26 PM  school Current mood:  anxious my school is suppost to start up again next month and we are supposed to go to school in 2 weeks to be able to get our I.D.s paking passes, etc. but how is all of this going to work, like Arizona is already #1 in corona virus cases so how is opening school going to lower that number and there are about 2,000 teens at my school and we all share the same lunch period. Thinking about how all this is going to work is giving me anxiety 0 Comments

06/25/2020 12:22 PM  first status update Current mood:  inspired i feel like posting on theslap.com i love making my profile pretty 0 Comments

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