one year later...
Category: Blogging
Current mood:  catalyzed

It has been over a year since my last post on this account. Time has flied by so fast and it is crazy looking back at my old post and viewing how much my life has changed. I graduated high school and am now 19 years old studying to get my real estate licence so my parents can stop bugging me about getting my life together because i am no longer in school and in their eyes i am an adult who should've moved out already. I am no longer with my ex who i claimed i was falling in love with, that wasn't love, it was lonely. But... things are much better now. I met ilyjah and we are going to be celebrating being together for half a year this upcoming week. I let go of one of my closest and dearest friends because our lives just seemed to not be aligned anymore. I am feeling somewhat happy, but also very anxious because I have no idea what I am doing in life right now. Then again I am only 19 and i have a lot of time to figure that out. Its just hard when you have parents who already had a kid, a house and a spouse by the age of 19 and they expect me to be there with them as well. Jokes on them though because I got an abortion because I am not ready for all of that yet. In my eyes I should still have time to figure these things out before settling down with all those familial responsibilitys. I just want to enjoy my life, expand my wardrobe, make memories with my one best friend, and live my life to the fullest with my soulmate while we have amazing sex. I guess that can happen but it seems harder to achieve when I have a full time job, am paying bill after bill and have children. That day will come when I will have to balance out everything, but in the meanwhile that just isn't me and what i want for myself. Sometimes I wish my life was like those coming of age movies where the girl figures out what she is going to do with her life by the end of the movie, but then you never stay to think what happens after that. If she really does live happily ever after at the end, or if she begins to struggle once more the moment the credits pass by. I guess im going to figure that out as I get older.