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11/05/2023 07:09 PM 


I drank because it made me feel something.A weird kind of bubbly happiness that I haven't felt in a very long time.I drank to keep that feeling, even sneaking drinks.Thankfully I was able to sit back and realize that I had a problem.I wonder what would have happened if it didn't?

poetry, poem,


11/05/2023 07:09 PM 


It's temptingWanting to toe the edgeJust to find out what's thereBut never to go beyondNeverBecause then that means I won't be able to come back.

poetry, poem,


11/05/2023 07:08 PM 

I'm not Lonely

I'm not lonelyThe ghosts of my past keep me company. I don't mind it, sometimes it's nice.

poetry, poem,


11/05/2023 01:48 PM 

I miss the Salt

I miss the saltI miss the sound of the gulf early in the morning, just before everyone else is awake, just before the noise of cars and people going to work drowns out the heavenly sound.The waves washing up on the shore.The sound of boats.The sound of home.

poetry, poem,


11/05/2023 01:46 PM 


I'm terrified of what lies within. So I repress it. Now I don't even know who I am.

poetry, poem,


11/04/2023 08:16 PM 

my horrible day (cant think on sumthing better to sayy O_o)
Current mood:  anxious

hiiiiii!!!!I was juzt listening to sum music yesterday amd a few strangers come to the chair i was sitting on and asked me if i needed help... O_o i think i should cry about it again bczz i cant think in anythingggg -_-!!! my day was horrible and now i feel like a trash can :[ i should seek mental help againnnn ://

Angiii ^^

11/04/2023 12:51 PM 

VĂ³mito de emociones

Me voy a enfermar de todas las palabras que me estoy tragando y la soledad que siento, me duele el estómago, la cabeza, y como que no quiero comer


11/03/2023 09:13 PM 


Boundaries!It's okay to: tell me you simp for me, call me hot/cute/etc, say you like me, say things like mwah, etc, give me pet names, if you are 14-18 you can say u wanna date me(doesn't me i can/will)Please don't say u wanna do NSFW stuff with me!! I'm asexual!!Dont try to toy with me. I have feelings just like you 


11/03/2023 05:28 PM 

silly little survey

TELL US ABOUT YOURSELFname:: mareux (mar-row)nickname:: mar also fartnugget :phow old are you:: 14zodiac sign:: piscescurrent location:: romania eye color:: greyhair color:: black n blondehair type:: scene hairhieght:: 5'6 what's your middle name:: leigh (pronounced lee)shoe's you wore today:: chuck taylor high topzyour weakness:: my dyslexia your fear:: EVERYTHING.have you ever ridden a mechanical bull:: no lolzdo you want to:: NOO NO NO NON ONOgoal you would like to achieve this year:: stay clean (sh)first thought when you wake up:: sleep best physical feature:: hair igwho is your bestest freind:: my pete wentz funko when is your bedtime:: idk my sleep schedule suckzzyour most cherished memory:: mcr concertt !!!pepsi or coke:: coke frmc dondalds or burgerking::  mickey d'z singel or group dates:: ermm id rther js have a date w my bf n iwhat is the last song you sang:: sk8er boi- avril lavignedoes playing the guitar make a girl/guy more attractive:: yes (i play guitar)what is your biggest pet peeve:: playing dum :/do you drink:: tryin 2 quitever been drunk:: yeaado you smoke:: sometimezdo you "SMOKE":: nahdo you sing:: yea im a theatre kid xdwhat color underwear do you have on:: WHAT do you want to go to college:: no but im bein forcedddhave you ever been in love:: ALL THE ITMEdo you wnat to get married:: still havent thought abt it do you believe in yourself:: never everdo you believe inothers:: dependzdo you like thunderstorms:: yeahh !!do you play an instrument:: guitar, bass, drums oh n i singwhat do you want to be when you grow up:: musicianwhat country would you like to visit:: usa :phow many CD's do you own:: 46how many DVD's do you own:: 32how many tattoo's do you have:: 0how many piercings do yo have:: snakebitez so 1how many things in the past do you regeret:: too many to count :pFAVORITESshoes:: chuck taylor high topzradio station:: 101.9 fmdrink:: hmm cokecar:: hmm idkplace:: my roomsong:: build god then well talk- p!atd movie:: jennifer'z body moment:: any past concertcolor:: pinkkk !!meal:: i dont like foodIN A GUY/GIRLfavorite eye color:: brownfavorite hair color:: brown short or long hair:: idmheight:: tallerbody type:: idm ig but i prefer fit or skinnydoes ethnicity matter:: nopiercings:: snakebitez n ear gauges are hot tattoos:: idm js not face tatzRIGHT NOWwhat is todays date:: november 3 2023what time is it:: 5:28 pmwho are you thinking of:: ryan ross what are you listening to:: changes- david bowiedo you love someone:: yes eys eys yes yes yesdo you know where your mechanical bull is:: why doez this keep talking ab mechanical bulls does someone love you:: ermm i thinkis it raining:: mhmhow many myspace friends do you have:: idk like idk 20 or smthngare you happy:: no never :D 


11/02/2023 06:41 PM 

but its better if u do (poem version i wrote)

in the smoky haze of the forties' night, a tale of secrets, promises, and lies, where love and lust in shadows intertwine, amidst the jazz, a story shall now rise. a promise made, with words as sweet as honey, a husband vowed he'd tread the righteous path, to shun the seedy alleys and their money, but in the shadows, plans concealed their wrath. a singer by day, a crooner in the night, his voice adorned with melodies of gold, yet darkness drew him to the secret site, an illicit club, where secrets were sold. in the dim-lit room, with whispers low, the audience masked in burlesque attire, they danced and laughed, where secrets tend to grow, in this mysterious world of hearts on fire. among the masked dancers, he took his place, a promise broken, concealed behind his mask, a sultry siren, with a hidden face, intriguing secrets, waiting to unmask. as their eyes met, in silent, fervent plea, the stranger danced, seductive in her grace, a sensual touch, a lap dance wild and free, two souls entwined in this forbidden space. with longing lips, they shared a stolen kiss, unveiling secrets hidden in the night, but destiny, a cunning, fickle mistress, had plans to bring their secrets to the light. with passion raging, he removed his guise, his mask fell to the ground, a shattering sound, the dancer's eyes grew wide with tearful surprise, for in the mirror, love and truth were found. in trembling hands, her mask too met the floor, two lovers, once estranged, now face to face, their hearts and souls forever intertwined, a love rekindled in this sacred place. but fate is never kind to those who dare, to challenge morals in their secret quest, for in that moment, sirens filled the air, and flashing lights exposed their sinfulness. the club was raided by the watchful law, cops swarmed the scene with stern and steely eyes, chaos ensued, a dance of fear and awe, as lovers clung, awaiting their demise. handcuffs, a symbol of their fateful choice, two hearts entwined in passion and in sin, a twist of fate, a moment to rejoice, as love transcends the masks they're forced to wear. in burlesque's dance of shadows, lust, and grace, a husband and his wife found love anew, in the chaos, their secrets they embrace, for love can heal, no matter what we do.


11/02/2023 04:46 PM 

Fav games

So like theese are uncategorized on which device I play them lmao but here's the list -Zelda-The sims-The papa's arcaderia games (Papa's taco mia,wingeria,freezeria,pizzeria,pancakeria,cheeseria.etc)-Obey me! shall we date? (IF YOU PLAY THIS GAME PLS BMF SIMEON HAS BEEN MY FAV SINCE LIKE FOREVER)-BanG dream! Girls band party-D4dj groovy mix-Mario cart-Resident evil -cookie run (I'M SORRY BUT OVENBREAK>KINGDOM)-Fnaf -Mystic messenger-Geometry dash-your turn to die-yan sim (BTW I DO NOT SUPPORT THE DEV AND HIS ACTIONS)That's all for now   


11/02/2023 01:23 PM 


f*** is a blog


11/02/2023 12:23 AM 

Thoughts on blogging
Current mood:  blah

I think blogging is cute, it seems fun but I wouldn't know what to blog about. I don't do anything but work and go to school LOL. Maybe I could blog about fashion and outfits. Maybe I could upload pictures from my camera, give it the old 2000s feel for sure. Who knows. side note; I just love the emojis on here 


11/01/2023 08:15 PM 

reflections of shadows: a creative writing assignment 4 english
Current mood:  accomplished

vixa was a seventeen-year-old goth girl with an affinity for the macabre and a taste for all things dark and mysterious. she had long, jet-black hair, heavy eyeliner, and an extensive collection of vintage band t-shirts. vixa lived a quiet life in a small, gloomy town where time seemed to stand still. her escape from the mundanity of everyday life was her part-time job at an old antique shop, owned by a peculiar old man named mr. thorne. the antique shop was a labyrinth of dusty shelves, cobweb-covered trinkets, and forgotten memories. vixa spent her days rearranging the old furniture and handling ancient relics with care. one gloomy afternoon, while dusting off a forgotten corner, she spotted an ornate mirror tucked away behind a pile of ancient books. it seemed out of place in the dimly lit shop, shimmering with an eerie glow that caught her attention. vixa didn't think much of it at first, dismissing it as just another vintage piece in the store's vast collection. she carried on with her duties, but the mirror continued to haunt her thoughts. there was something about it that drew her back like a moth to a flame. it beckoned to her, whispering secrets she couldn't quite decipher. the next day, vixa invited her closest friends, elara and xeris, to the antique shop after her shift. elara was a free-spirited artist with a penchant for wearing vibrant colors in stark contrast to vixa's dark attire. xeris, on the other hand, was a tech-savvy introvert, always tinkering with gadgets and lost in his own world. their unique names matched their equally unique personalities. curiosity got the better of elara, and she couldn't resist the allure of the mysterious mirror. she approached it with a mischievous grin, staring at her reflection as if trying to unlock its hidden secrets. suddenly, the mirror seemed to come alive, a vortex of swirling shadows enveloping her. vixa and xeris gasped in shock, but it was too late. elara had been dragged into the depths of the mirror, leaving behind an eerie silence in the shop. vixa and xeris, terrified and confused, reached out to touch the mirror, only to be met with an icy, electric shock that sent them stumbling backward. realization dawned on them; the mirror was no ordinary antique. it held a sinister power, a connection to a malevolent cult that thrived on the souls of the unsuspecting. determined to save their friend, vixa and xeris delved into the dusty archives of the antique shop, unearthing a journal that revealed the mirror's dark history. it had once belonged to a cult led by a man named tab, who believed in sacrificing souls to an ancient well that they worshipped. the well was rumored to grant immense power to those who could harness it. tab had harnessed its power by trapping the souls within the mirror, using them to fuel his cult's supernatural abilities. vixa, xeris, and their newly acquired knowledge formed a plan to rescue elara and confront tab and his cult. armed with their unique strengths and fueled by their unyielding friendship, they set out on a perilous journey. vixa, the goth with an affinity for the occult, brought her knowledge of dark arts and the supernatural. elara, the artist, used her creativity and intuition to decipher clues. xeris, the tech-savvy introvert, used his technological expertise to unravel the cult's digital secrets. as they delved deeper into the mystery, they discovered that tab and his cult possessed supernatural powers, which made them formidable adversaries. the souls trapped in the mirror cried out for salvation, and vixa, elara, and xeris were their only hope. the trio faced an uphill battle as they encountered a series of eerie challenges, from haunted locations to spectral apparitions. with each step they took, their bond grew stronger, and their determination to rescue elara burned brighter. the souls of the mirror were counting on them to end the cult's reign of terror and release them from their torment. the final confrontation with tab and his cult took place at an abandoned, desolate well in the heart of the town. the well was the source of the cult's power, and it was there that they intended to perform their most sinister sacrifice yet. as vixa, elara, and xeris confronted tab, the well's dark energy crackled around them, manifesting in eerie, otherworldly forms. in a climactic battle, the three friends combined their unique strengths and outwitted tab and his cult, disrupting their sinister ritual and breaking the mirror's malevolent hold. the trapped souls were released, and a blinding, ethereal light burst forth from the well, sealing it forever. tab and his cult, stripped of their supernatural powers, were apprehended by the authorities. elara, who had been trapped in the mirror for what felt like an eternity, emerged unscathed but with the wisdom of ages. she had seen the secrets of the well and understood its true nature. with their mission accomplished, the friends returned to their normal lives, forever changed by their harrowing journey. the small, gloomy town that had witnessed so much darkness was now bathed in a newfound light. vixa, elara, and xeris had not only saved their friend but also the town from the malevolent cult's influence. their unique strengths, unyielding friendship, and determination had triumphed over the supernatural, proving that even in the darkest of times, the power of unity and friendship could conquer all. 


11/01/2023 06:32 PM 

November 1st
Current mood:  melancholy

It's November 1st, a good time to bury my dead, and I have a spider in a corner of my room, wtf it is doing here, whatever. I feel sluggish, I wish I still was able to watch life passing by out of my train's window, and thou it's empty inside, I can still put ragdolls on the seats, but something is terribly mssing, and I have no idea what and why, maybe it's all inside my head, or maybe I am a problem, whatever...I suddenly realized that all the best in my life already happened and there's nothing to look forward. While things may still happen, it's nothing new, it's nothing like a first time, it's deja vu, at best, it already happened before, so where do we proceed from here... I feel stupid. I do feel like that sometimes. I also miss my ex, what a freaking shame, huh, this one in the middle. I had a relationship before her, and two after her, and I don't miss these three, good riddance, but heck... this one in the middle. I know, she almost murdered me, lol, but before this mess happened it was good, so good, I still miss her. First I thought, it's not about her, that is, it is, but well... it's also about time and place, but unlikely. I'd be at home with her any time and anywhere, the way she was before she almost murdered me. But maybe, in fact, she did. Or maybe it was my fault all along. Do I care? No. Still miss this f***ing freak, she made me feel if not special, then, at least, equal.Come chat with me, if you like. I am pretty sluggish recently, but I have some redeeming qualities, I'm not judgemental and such. Maybe this is the last year of my life. Or maybe we all are already dead, and only carousels keep running. 

my divine melancholia

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