June 13, 2019 1:10 PM
Current mood:  angsty

there’s this weird feeling pooling inside of me

it’s uncomfortable, a strange peck away at my confidence

almost like my heart doesn’t know where it is in this moment

i love her but i need more almost.

some of my happiness memories are with her, but my time to leave her company can’t come sooner.

it’s like we aren’t meant to be but at the same time we are.

the universe has a weird game with me. i’m young, that’s true, but i know that some part of me doesn’t click. i feel almost empty in a way? it’s so hard to explain.

my heart on a string

lungs tied off until i get that scent that opens them up. 

love has never been easy for me. i fall in love with the wrong people and then cant seem to fall in love with the right ones.

if my heart and my brain could agree on one thing, i would want it to be this. “you don’t need people in your life”

i know i don’t need everyone. i know i seen some people. 

learning the hard way has always been easiest for me. like i need to go through struggle and heartbreak to learn a lesson. 

maybe then i’ll get rid of this weird feeling. i’ve grown so accustomed to. 

i want to be swaddled in love but at the same time i don’t want anyone to touch me. 

i want to feel warm and loved but my mind knows that’s not what i need.

feeling alone is how i cope with things. i can’t stand when people are in my space. i need to be alone. feel alone. 

not in a bad way. i have people to reach out to but i just need that alone time when i feel weird.

the feeling i’ve grown accustom to is weird but it makes me feel at home.