a poem i wrote
Current mood:  calm

this is a poem i wrote called "soon"
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i suppose i'll realize it when we lay together again.
when arms curl around bodies, cold lips touch
and fumbling fingers lock in familiar ways.
i will look at you. i will turn to the face that i spent months memorizing even though i knew i would never get to take it between my hands. i will touch the body that i never knew i would explore until the days grew hot and sluggish and the nights whirled with dry breezes and wonder. 
you will watch me close my eyes
and i will dream
and when they open and i look up into the gaping maw of infinite nothing, oversprinkling with iron stars and a sterling silver moon i will realize that nothing seems as hopeless as it once was
i will gaze into the abyss and wonder if there is a god and if he really loves us as much as he teaches.
and then i will turn to you again and wonder what you're thinking of

if there is a god i hope he smiles on us that night
because every day that passes in your company offers me more proof that he is alive and he loves us
and suddenly i've never wanted to believe in anything so badly.
i hope someday soon you see him in the places i do
i was taught that i would find him between the walls of a church and instead he waits in the people i love most of all.
i see him now in my own hands. he waited patiently in your movements and in the subtle way you took my hand when we both thought no one else was looking. god lay in the way that we danced for the very first time. i see him in the way lips move and fingers curl. god exists in the way stomachs sit and thighs and hips sweep and dip into them at perfect angles.
i hope someday you are able to face yourself in the mirror and admire such a beautiful design.
when that day comes i hope you have never felt more beautiful

everyone says you find salvation in the places you least expect it
i hope you see it in yourself
soon.

-w