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xX_Nina_F***in_Darko_Xx

Last Login:
June 22nd, 2020



Gender: Other
Age: 20
Sign: Cancer
Country: United States

Signup Date:
May 27, 2020

Subscriptions:

05/28/2020 11:47 PM 

stickers
Current mood:  hopeful

i used to be in a program because of some medical/mental stuff that was going on a few months ago. i used to give everyone there stickers. my journal as a small folder in the back so i keep them in there. i always say that people could never possibly forget me because of my clothes/hair/makeup/personality and also because i give everyone sitckers. today someone texted me and told me they found a sticker i gave on their headboard, and that it was cute and made them smile. even if i don't do much with my life i'm happy i still made the tiniest impact on someone. i hope everyone else kept their stickers too. 

05/27/2020 10:29 PM 

mortality
Current mood:  contemplative

recently i've been hyper aware of my own mortality. this isn't something new exactly, it's just been a while since i've thought like this. i can't tell whether or not i'm afraid of death. maybe not death itself but whatever comes after it. now more than ever death is constantly being discussed. everywhere. the news, social media, ads. even people on the sidewalk in front of my house talking about some unfathomable number of lives that we've lost to the virus. it's become so normal. so casual. 

it's scary. i remember experiencing loss for the first time. it actually wasn't too long ago. it completely consumed me. but at least then i had people around me. i was always being comforted. now, people are inaccesible and the fear of losing someone i love is constantly floating around the back of my mind. but then i think, what if i get the virus? what if it kills me? who will be there to comfort my family and friends? will they comfort each other? will they need more than that? i know i'm not high risk, but who knows? 

i'm still young though. i'm probably just overthinking. all i can do is hope.

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