im a creep im a weirdo what the hell am i doing heeere
Category: Real Life
Current mood:  bummed

Things currently happening: Olive Garden interview in 15 hours, reject earnest emotions/sentiments, embrace the Super Salad.

I had a great weekend, I saw my great friends, and visited my hometown, which I have returned to once again to visit my mom temporarily because I am afraid at my city apartment. We went the restaurant in my town, and then to the park. I had a lot of fun swinging on the swings and shouting emo music with my friend, then spinning around on this really weird... thing? like, you sit on it, in these weird spots, and someone spins it, and there's not much barrier to prevent you from falling so you kinda just have to ball. 
Next day, I feel bad I don't remember it all, ohhh yeah I went and quickly visited some1 else- that was alright, then we got some food at the curling rink in the town over. Burger and a beer cuz im #BASED but i felt bad cuz it was the last burger so my friend had to get something else cringe even tho they were hungry. I feel bad. I'm gonna make it up to everyone. We all roughly come from the same place, just a group of small towns, it is all familiar. So it was good for all of us (one friend still lives around there rn actually AHHHH) We went swimming later that day and it was CRAYZ cuz i havent swam in sooo long. Lowkey the pool itself sucked sm but I still had fun. I can't swim well. And I embarrassed myself a lot.  MANY SUCH CASES!!!!!!! Sleepover after and I played M.A.S.H. w friend and lowkey my result was so lame which is sad cuz it couldve been so funny.

And last day... ohohoh..... SAINT PATRICKS DAY YUP!  Got ready all day, thrifted a bit, we stopped at the organic food store for friend's (BECK REFERENCE) protein bars~ . then we went to a pub. I REALLY liked it in there. It was awesome. 10/10 would go back, maybe sometime soon. It's hard cuz only 1 friend lives in the city and the rest are 1hr away in said hometowns. So making plans is KINDA hard, but they go to university nearby so it works out like that sometimes. I enjoy sneaking into their classes HEHEHEehehhehhehee................... After the pub endeavours I was pretty drunk cuz i had quite a lot of alcohol, BUT i wasnt sick or unable to stand or anything, i was chillin. When I get drunk I just listen to music and sing and be a bit silly. It's pretty annoying but at least i don't get angry or super sad or something. I'm just silly. I value this because I hate sad and angry drunk ppl. Why cant we just sing along to the music bruh. but thankfully my friends r pretty epic. 2 of em left so early which was SOOOOO SAD and unplanned and random so then just me and Beck were there, felt bad cuz I was #drunk and he was sober. this is so unfortunate.... shoutout beck though thank you for everythin!

I have an interview at OLIVE GARDEN tomorrow (today) at 3:15pm, that's SCARY but I kinda am not nervous at all so I think it'll be good. I'm chillin. But I need to read up fr. Idk anything abt Olive Garden besides i LUV pasta. I hope I can get hired because I REALLY need a job. My life is so boring and unending. And Im BROKE. Like actually.
Hopefully I'll be able to move in w my friend sooner than later. I'll have to break my lease but that's ok. No dollar amount is worth more than the debilitating anxiety and fear I feel in there. Many such cases. 

I've been a little bit sad in the meantimes: I'm a pro fumbler and I think I will just DIE about it. It's not a secret, everyone knows.; I'm a creep im  a weirdo what the hell am i doi
I'm an idiot and it doesn't help that my friends keep giving me confusing information.. how do I recover and be normal when I am told to hold out? be for real..... im dying IT SUUUUUUUCKS! i wish i could say anything about it but I already messed up. the futile efforts of a crush THE GREAT ROMANCES OF THE 20TH CENTURY AHHH SEPTEMBER NEVER GETS THIS COLD WHERE I COME FROM AND YOU KNOWWW IM NOT ONE FOR COMPLAININGGGGGG and he could read this... whats up chat. Im a freak im  a weirdo please let me have this outlet here cuz I am too afraid of anywhere else. Notes app is NOT a safe space last time I checked . coughing. wheezing and dry heaving


Olive Garden tmrw.......... After the interview I'm just gonna sit down and start ordering everything like YuUP I look forward to getting to know yall over the course of this evening... Waiter.. that tablet you're taking my order on... Can I play with it?
Do you guys think that's a good idea!?!?!?!?

:3