crying

i hate crying. i hate when people say that its good to cry because it helps get your emotions out so it helps you feel better but it really doesnt. i get snotty, my eyes burn as i hiccup my way through shallow breaths and awkward cries of of discomfort. i hate the confusion of crying. its so overwhelming and intense that i dont know what im feeling because its all just too much. then once im done im so tired and achey that i just go to sleep and by the time i wake up i cant even rememeber what i was upset about. i hate the way people treat you when you cry. sometimes people get angry and tell you theres no reason for you to be crying, say your faking and being dramaric. sometimes people treat you like a baby, like your imcompetent and cant be trusted alone just because youre sad. i wish i could scream. scream until my voice gives out so when i cry so i dont make any noise, so i dont bother anyone. so i can just be alone with the way that i feel.