September 13th 2022
Category: Real Life
Current mood:  disappointed

Before I start talking about my day today I need to say what happened yesterday after I updated this blog.  After I updated my blog I went to my lover's house.  On the way there I got thinking about how I want a break, just a few days away from reality.  I remembered reading about how overdosing on melatonin won't kill you but put you in a coma.  I believed that the best way to slip into a temporal death would be in my lover's arms; so I stopped at a Dollar General near his house and bought a box of generic brand sleep aids.  

When I got to his house I asked, "Would you still love me if I was in a coma?"  He answered yes but was worried as to why I asked.  I told him what I told you, that I want a few days break from reality.  He told me, "I've had days like this, you just have to push through it."  But it didn't really comfort me.

I excused myself for a moment and went to his bathroom to take the pills.  I swallowed twelve times more than the recommended dose.  When I exited the bathroom he was there with arms open, not a clue as to what I just did in his bathroom.

We went to grab something to eat, Moe's, and on the way there is when they started to kick in.  Everything moved so much slower and it was hard to keep my eyes open.  Nevertheless I forced myself to stay awake so that I could fall asleep in his arms.  When we got back to his house I asked if we could cuddle.  He never turns down a cuddle so we went to his bed and laid down.  He set an alarm for when I had to leave to go back home and fell asleep together.

The alarm went off, and I woke up.  The pills didn't give me the rest I wanted so dearly.  All the pills did was make me sick.  As soon as I woke up I ran to his bathroom and started throwing up the pills and food from Moe's.  

Then it was time for me to go home.  I had to drive through the pouring rain still sleepy and feeling sick.  I can't be too mad though, I did this to myself after all.  I just wished that those pills kept me asleep for a little while longer.

Now for today; Today was a regular day. (Besides the fact that I was still very sleepy and nauseous when I woke up.) Theo made us try to put all the curtains back up but we didn't have enough as we threw away the ones from yesterday.  During the storm we had last night the building I work in was struck by lightning so a lot of our cameras were out.  I.T. was able to fix most of them remotely but three of them had to be manually restarted.  One of them was under a desk so I went under the desk and got covered in dust.  To add salt to the wound I couldn't even find the wire I needed to reset the camera!

Now I'm home and preparing to go to my lover's for dinner.  That was all that happened between my last update and now.