05-24-22, 02:24AM

sweat and spit. the taste of flesh that is all too familiar. how does it taste like nothing and everythng at the same time??? the salt from perspiration is faint. the flavor of a million other possibilities is more prominent. i open my mouth and taste the bittersweet danger from adolescent recklessness. in the midst of everything there is the viscous sugary essence of passion. no bullsh*t, no regrets. only hope transcripted on parchment, tucked safely inside a bottle. thrown into the sea, anticipating it will meet us back at shore. hoping it will boomerang all across the universe and allow our souls to explore wherever. fingers crossed it will come back when we want it to. free of damage and in between fine white sand. ready to be gripped by car crash hearts and be reiterated as wedding vows.

in between your legs and tangled around your heart. dont think i have the guts to let it go even if i wanted to. drunk on possibilities... possibilities... possibilities... nothing but the longing for forever. and also the taste of you (but that's a given.) dimmed lights. sunshine muted by rain clouds. the ache in my legs... the spit on my chest. there is nothing but our hearts to keep us sane from the overwhelming sensations. sincerity intertwining your soul with mine... i know the way we manage to lie down together satisfactorily in silence is the reason i will always find you, how many universes away you may be.

i am a riot... in every way possible. a disappointed crowd whose words knot together into an unsatisfied cacophony. a clump of dust thats been gathering for decades on forgotten pictures. fuzz on the sticky backside of stickers that ruin the prettiest pieces of paper. laughing in the middle of everything... sticky floors and chipped paint make life seem like one of my favorite arthouse movies. envy fades when i realize that the average person would not lie in silence with... . travel thousands of miles for... listen to hundreds of unknown rap songs for... cry hours over... a friend picked up from a f***ed up situationship(ormaybeliterallyanyoneelsebecause
thatsjustreallystupiddoingthingslikethisforsomeonewhosbarely
understoodyourheart) and then i laugh some more. i think. too many fish in the sea (theyareliterallybeingfeddynamitesandsoldinbulktherea
retoomanycontendersinthedatingpoolofhomosexuality) and i end up dragging them to the shore with me. yes... i think we really are gonna die from oxygen together!!!!!!!

and thats how i noticed that contentment presents itself in the most subtle of ways. my smile a bit wider... language never leaving my mother tongue cause im nervous... heart beating a bit more differently this time. im not used to the picture happiness painted of me. i do not recognize myself... i cannot see the reality i've once conditioned my head and my heart to despise so much. the difference is too great; it makes my features look so incredibly foreign... and my soul is not so detached from the rest of the world anymore. call the museum director... or not. maybe i am a surrealist modern art piece made by phony street artists and this is the way i am supposed to be.