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why am i never satisfied 
like i get with someone awesome and then i find something a bit excited and i decide to go for it when i already have something great 
but like why
why do i have to cheat almost to like feel better and like in the end i just run back to him so why even 
maybe i miss the atenion the rush the new 
im scared hell get bored bt im the one bored already 
the thing is when im not bored its toxic or one sided but when i am its the perfect relationship 
weird 
maybe im just getting used to having my person 
i think thats it 
i have to stop looking for new and just enjoy finaly MY person 
it was the same with hao but i f***ed itup
i have so much fun with virgil and like i feel good with him 
im gonna start crying i think i really really miss him
i have to learn to stay 
and stop looking for nex and fresh because its all i crave being liked by strangers 
when i should focus on giving virgil all i am not just physically but my mental its hard but im sure hes capable of understanding some things