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Ritual
Current mood:
 anxious
I wish I lived in a town with very few people
Went to sleep last night and with the feeling of a hot rod poking through my temple, now my eyes wont open all the way. 
This morning I got up with the plan to do a ritual, now when I say "ritual" I dont mean nothing serious. I take it seriously but I know that it isnt being conducted in a traditional manner and that makes me feel like I'm not allowed to do it my half ass, baby poo poo way. I know some witches say you can practice anyway you like aslong as you are being true to yourself. Something in myself always wants to be as legit and respectful to tradition as possible. Maybe it's just imposters syndrome ....
I started by writing my intentions down and what I hoped to be getting out of the ritual. I also wrote what I would be offering to Artemis today at the big mountain lake. ( I will be offering her Beer and a lavender bundle, aswell as the ashes from ritual)
after I wrote my intentions down in my journal I tore it out and folded it up.
I then began to ask Artemis for relief from the situation I described. I thanked her and cleansed my makeshift cauldron and begun to start a fire with a paper bag.
I ate leftover mexican food while my letter burned and I immediately began to feel sad. I wish I could've just cried there and let it all out of me. The city is too busy for me, I need peace to have release. I know if I mourned here I would scare people and I dont want them to worry for me.
I dont even know why I still feel the need to mourn something that logically feels so childish. My heart still aches for reasons I feel that others grow out of. I often feel like I may be missing some important information haha.. 
I will complete the ritual tonight. It feels wrong to leave it open ended and its important to follow through with ritual involving Gods or Goddesses or the Fae . they'll be salty at you if you don't follow through with promises made.
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