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I seriously don't like my 2nd-hour class because almost everyone in here is either mean, fake, or just flat out annoying. I say almost because there's like..2 people that I actually like in this class. (they both sit at my table) and we just quietly sit at the table and actually mind our own business. I have like 3 more finals to do today and am I happy about that? Absolutely not but hey I do graduate tomorrow. I might take pictures today so if I do I might upload them to an album on here for you guys to see  other than that I just have to finish this day out and keep goingpeace out~

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disguise my words with suicide cause without it that’s what this’d be hide in the bathroom, cause that’s where they can’t get to you and everyone’s a call away they’ll talk but will they listen save the help cause it’s never getting betterget me out of this place and I think I’m over exaggerating  but I think that’s what they want the screams no longer remind me of joyI can’t tell if it’s raining or I’m crying save the smiles for another daycause now’s not the timekeep your smile far from me because you remind me of fearI can’t hear it again,  I’m too far gone the good can’t replace the bad and don’t pretend that one take one is nothing, because it’s so much moreand it’s not brokenIt just needs to be fixedthe only reason I’m still here  is because I’m scared to leave not even for me cause there’s more in it than that and when I’m gone  I’m never coming back and I hope you blame yourself  cause that’s what it was 

December 17, 2019   I wish I wasn't so bored. I want to go out and do stuff with friends (that I don't have but whatever). Pretty much everyone who would want hang out with me are those I meet online. Still that's better than no one.   I also want to get back into painting and drawing. I haven't done it for months now, mostly because I'm out of ideas and have too much on my mind. But it helps me out my emotions into a picture.    

"confirm form resubmission" i am too lazy to click my icon to go home

out of pocket expenses

aww yea babie!!!!

i dont even watch the show, also that was the first thing i could think of as the title (the show was on the tv)

and i love it

guyz i wish i could skateboard :( i tried to over da summer but i didnt get vari far and now its too cold out :(( 

Get hot comments i keep getting caught unsending my messages. it's like a rush! sending 100% facts that probably don't need to be shared but i do for like 1 second or a few hours. i also think it's kinda cute...like actually never mind 0:)have you ever unsent a message?

This is an emo/scene survey both of those are fashions I admire I don't think I am either though sadly.NAME?: Jessica or Jess.PREFERRED PRONOUNS?: She/HerSEXUALITY?: Questioning.DO U PREFER SCENE OR EMO?: Emo honestly though I love all of them.WOULD U CONSIDER URSELF SCENE OR EMO?: No sadly.IF YES, WHICH ONE?: Again I don't think I am one though I would also love to be on this is unrelated but I also love victorian goth fashion because it's mostly black but also covers a lot but also though renaissance men's fashion is also awesome which also covers a lot though is more colourful.HOW LONG HAVE U BEEN AN EMO/SCENE KID?: Again I wouldn't consider my self one sadly.WHAT'S UR FAVORITE COLOR(S)?: I enjoy all colours.WHO R U MORE LIKELY TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH-- SCENES OR EMOS?: I don't no though I would like to make friends with both as both seem awesome.FAVORITE ARTIST/BAND?: Currently it's P!ATD though it changes often.TOP THREE FAVORITE SONGS?: Get down from Six the musical (I love her voice so much it's so great.), Welcome to the black parade by MCR, There's a good reason these tables are numbered honey you just haven't thought of it yet by P!ATD.MAKE A PLAYLIST FOR UR CURRENT MOOD?: Sorry I don't know how to make one.FAVORITE PLACE TO GET UR MUSIC FROM?: Honestly I just use YouTube.DO U DOWNLOAD MUSIC?: No but I want to.DO U THINK "POSERS" EXIST?: Yes though they aren't as common as some people make it seem like they are I see them as people who are pretending to be what they are not because I see people call young/new people in certain areas (I can't think of the word right now oops.) and those people are trying to fit in.THOUGHTS ON "PREPS"?: Okay so I'm homeschooled so there aren't really preps in homeschool activities that you do with other people though after finding pictures the girls are so pretty and I would like to meet such a beautiful girl I feel like that sounds wrong.WHAT KIND OF HAIRSTYLE DO U HAVE?: Straight bob nothing special.HAVE U EVER DYED UR HAIR?: Yes I have dyed it red multiple times the dye was the wash out kind though I would love to dye it black but I am not allowed to so I can't sadly.HAVE U EVER PUT DYED PATTERNS IN UR HAIR?: No but I really want to though of course I am afraid to ask.DO U CURRENTLY USE HAIR EXTENSIONS?: No.HAVE U EVER USED HAIR EXTENSIONS?: No.IF YES, WHAT KIND WERE THEY? ( CLIP INS, BEADS, ETC! ): Again I have never used them though I find that this question is a good way to find information about someone (I get that this is the point on this type of thing.)and I can see why it would be helpful.DO YOU WEAR KANDI JEWELRY?:No but it looks coolIF YES, WHAT KIND OF KANDI JEWELRY IS YOUR FAVORITE TO WEAR?: Again sadly I don't wear it.IF NO, DO YOU STILL LIKE KANDI JEWELRY?: Though I said it before I do think it looks really nice.IF YES, WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TO SEE ON OTHERS?: I don't know enough about it to tell if someone was wearing it but I do think it would be cool it see it on someone.KANDI BEADS ON SHOELACES, YAY OR NAY?: I have never done it before though it seems cool so yay.IF U COULD, WHAT KIND OF KANDI JEWELRY WOULD U MAKE?: Honestly most likely a bracelet because I am not confident in my jewelry making abilities.IF U COULD, WOULD U SELL KANDI JEWELRY?: Maybe.DO YOU COLOR YOUR NAILS?: Yes.IF YES, WHAT COLOR(S)?: Honestly I try to match it to my outfit so I don't just have certain colours.DO YOU WEAR MAKEUP?: Yes.IF YES, WHAT'S UR FAVORITE KIND OF MAKEUP?: Mascara or lipstick.FAVORITE EMO KID?: I don't have one.FAVORITE SCENE KID?: Again I don't have one.WHAT KIND OF WRITING STYLE DO U HAVE? ( HARDCORE SCENE, HARDCORE EMO, NORMAL, ETC ): I don't know the writing styles though I am interested in what the writing styles are.EXAMPLE OF UR EVERY DAY WRITING?: I don't write every day so I don't know and I don't understand this very much even though it seems like it should be obvious.R U OPEN TO FRIENDSHIPS?: Yes!HOW DID U FIND FRIENDPROJECT?: Tumblr which is my favorite social media because it's for fandoms most of the time.DO U HAVE ANY SCENE/EMO FRIENDS IRL?: I don't think so sadly.IF YES, WHICH ONE? ( BOTH, JUST SCENE, JUST EMO, ETC. ): Again I don't.WOULD U SAY U HAVE A LIFE OUTSIDE OF EMO/SCENE STUFF?: I hope so.IF YES, WHAT IS IT LIKE, IF UR WILLING TO SHARE?: I don't know if I have one.IF NO, WHAT GOT U STARTED ON SCENE/EMO STUFF?: While I wouldn't consider my self either though I love both and for both it was of course first my early YouTube watching ( I was born in 2006.) so I watched some older videos once I was old enough also Tumblr.R UR FRIENDS/FAMILY ACCEPTING OR UR EMO/SCENE LIFESTYLE?: I think they would be if I became either.DO U WEAR UR SCENE/EMO STUFF TO WORK OR SCHOOL?: No.IF YES, WHAT KIND OF REACTIONS DO U GET?: I don't though for anyone who can answer this I hope the reactions are good.IF NO, WHY NOT?: I hope there is a good for reason for people judging you for it.HOW DID THIS SURVEY MAKE U FEEL?: Honestly I don't know.ENDING COMMENTS?: This was fun.This is taken from https://www.friendproject.net/view_profile.php?member_id=230228

1.Spell your name without an E,R,S,H,K,I,M,L,C,A,Y,N  J 2.Are you single? Yes I am still questioning my sexuality right now but I think I am bi or lesbian though.3.What is your favorite number? I don't have one.4.What is your favorite color? I like all colours though some work better in different colour schemes so it matters what they are placed with.5.Least favorite color? Read above.6.What are you listening to? One of those jazz mixes on YouTube.7.Are you happy with your life right now?8.Are you involved with anyone? No.9.What is your favorite subject in school/ college? Okay so while I am home schooled I still do school (Because I am not un-schooled.) and if I had to pick a favorite subject it would most likely be the rare occasions we do art.10.Do you shop at Abercrombie? No I usually shop at thrift stores though if I had more money I might do more online or if in real life something at an vintage or antique store then if a modern store it would be hot topic honestly.11.Do you have money? Yes I have over 100 dollars in the bank all of which I am saving for later in life.12.Would you take an ex back? Yes technically I guess here's the thing she was really pretty right though I never realized we were in a relationship as she never said anything about it and I never asked about (I am horrid at social cues which as I've heard is an Aspergers/autism thing.) she was really kind to me though right ten one day out of the blue she broke up with me on text again I didn't even know we were in a relationship.13.Are you outgoing? At times though I am also very socially awkward.14.Are you gay? I am questioning my sexual orientation as I think I am bi or lesbian because girls are great and I am terrible at my own emotions so I don't know how I feel yay.15.Where do you wish you were right now? Honestly in a library in England.16.What should you be doing right now? Sleeping.THE CANS:Can you blow a bubble? No.Can you do a cart wheel? No I have tried many times though.Can you touch your toes? Yes easily.Can you wiggle your ears? No.Can you touch your tongue to your nose? My tongue is too short so no.THE DIDS:Did you ever want to be a doctor? Yes after I found out that being a vet would have dissecting animals and I didn't want to do that but realized that would mean doctors would have to dissect humans and that seem more interesting.Did you ever want to be a fire fighter? No never.Did you ever want to be a teacher? I have thought of it.Did you ever break the law? I don't believe so though there are those laws that a broken without even knowing about them so who knows.Did you vote for Bush? No I am too young.THE DOs:Do you like rollercoasters? I have never tried one though I would like to despite my fear or heights.Do you own a bike? Yes.Do you play the lotto? I've tried once I didn't win though.Do you like football? No to both playing and watching.Do you have a shopping addiction? No I rarely shop though I would like to have more books honestly.THE DOES:Does your family have family picnics? No not really.Does you wallet have any pics in it? I don't one regularly and neither of them have a place for pictures so no.Does your job bring you satisfaction? I don't have one so again no.Does a soft answer turn away wrath? It can I believe but it won't always.Does sex mean love? No as you can still be in a romantic relationship and not have sex with your partner/s.THE LASTS:Last person you hung out with? Honestly my sister.Last car ride? My mother bringing me to my father's house.Last text message? Was from my someone in my D&D group.Last baby you held? I try not to hold babies.Last time you shaved? A week or two ago I believe.LAST THING?What was the last thing you bought? I don't remember but most likely books.What was the last thing you had to drink? Water.What was the last thing you watched? A tv show called horror homes.What was the last thing you read? Dress codes for small towns.What was the last thing your hand wrote? Notes for my character in the D&D campaign I'min.THE WHOS:Who last talked to you on the phone? I don't even know honestly.Who was the last person you took a picture of? My sister.

i've been thinking about how much energy i put into things that were only pure fantasy to begin with. i'm over instagram. i'm addictive without restrictions. can't stand being held back by the platform, and my game wasn't working anymore.i've been thinking about the hours of time i put into instagram & how thoughtless, depraved and empty it has all been and made me feel.myspace was something i was never allowed to participate in, this friend project could be the next best thing...wanna at least give it a try.i wanna build a new network in nyc- there is no one around me interested in communicating this way? i wanna find the freaks that would.this is my cesspool- i'm claiming this friend project to be my project- my platform, my fresh start.i'm the rarest rose, welcome to my world.

Winter really sucks. It's been freezing the last couple days and snowing and now freezing rain. I can't wait for winter to be over already. I've already been over winter since the first day it snowed. I don't hate snow, it's just it snows a lot and it's hard to go somewhere or travel with the snow, plus a lot of my clothes I haven't gotten out yet aren't for winter, so I've been freezing the last few weeks. But that's my fault because I haven't gotten my clothes out yet. I can't wait until winter is finally over.