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10/03/2021 01:46 PM 

not cool

my dad wanted to kill my dog when i was 11

Jed Undead

10/03/2021 12:59 AM 

October is here :) - school clubs, exercise, n walking home from school
Current mood:  strong

Happy spooky month everyone 🎃Clubs in my school have started up, I joined the GSA! I was too terrified to speak and I just sat in the back but it was nice. One safe space in a world of danger. What a foreign concept.I also joined the weightlifting club, everyone is a scary jock and I'm definitely the tiniest and weakest person there, but I'm just there to do my own thing and reach my own personal best and not compare myself to others. Or at least I try to, but it's hard when the guy on your right is benching more than you weigh and the girl on your left is literally built like a freakin' Amazonian. At least I'm working out though.Speaking of working out, I am doing so much physical activity now that I'm in school. I have PE every other day, weightlifting twice a week, I do my own workouts on the weekends, plus I walk 30 to 40 minutes from school to home. It's a wonder I'm not absolutely jacked yet lmao. Bonus, my parents can't use the "back in my day we walked [insert length of time] to school in the wind rain and snow!!"30-40 minutes is the perfect length for an album though, so I just put on my headphones and vibe. If y'all have any recommendations, I'd love to hear 'em. I have a whole google doc of albums that I've been recommended and I'm always looking to add more. I'm mostly into punk rock, pop punk, n emo stuff but I'll listen to most anything.Stay spooky,-Jed 


10/02/2021 09:25 PM 

I forgot
Current mood:  fermented

not that that's uncommon for this website


10/02/2021 07:08 PM 

feeling good ig
Current mood:  fabulous

won a million dolars in deal or no deal feelin kewl

emo, scene, emo kid, scene kid, mar


10/02/2021 06:15 PM 

Current mood:  exhausted

daniel is so exhausted!!!!!!   a lot happend yesterday so daniels brain is so...  mindboggled!!!!!!!

10/02/2021 09:40 PM 

Current mood:  hopeful

Dear Diary,yes, I have started to use this as a diary since I can't be bothered to buy a new one. I also could care less if my diary is public. Anyways, I didn't do much today but one good thing is, is that I finally started my fall break. It's not much of a break since I still got loads of exams afterwards. God, my new school life isn't as easy as I thought. The exams and everything were doing in class is much different than what I used to do at my old school. At least I got a bunch 0f new friends. I wasn't much of a loner in my old school, just hung around people which poeple thought were weird. (Like horse girls or fortnite kids.) I hated hanging out with them because our humors never matched. Through the 5 years I stuck around them, all my laughs were forced. Plus, my so-called ''Bestfriend'' was never there for me. Although she was the only one I told about my mother's cancer, she didn't once ask me to meet or how I was doing when she passed. She was too busy with another boyfriend. She's always had many boyfriends. One was 24 while she was 14. Her father allowed it too. They had to date secretly until they broke up after 4 days and then she got yet another boyfriend. At first I was happy she was happy but soon I got sick of her boyfriends mainly because she would blow me off so many times just to hang out with them. Like every weekend, him. Afterschool, him. The whole week was planned out with her boyfriend. It's sad to think that I waited one hour in the freezing cold, because me, her and boyfriend were supposed to go ice-skating. The reason she was late? Because her boyfriend had been ''teasing her'' and they missed their bus because of it. She flirts with multiple boys at once. Calling them their ''bestfriends'' and then being all huggy huggy with them. I had a small crush on this boy once. It was nothing major, but I still kinda liked him. We went on this trip together. Guess what? Of course, she's being all huggy huggy with him too. She's prettier than me, I won't lie, so she has more chances of getting a boyfriend than me. Of course that means the guy I liked found her attractive aswell. Our friendship was never that good. I told her many times what bothered me, but she never cared. I loved her. A lot. I was kinda her doormat. I gave her my food, drew for her, wrote her stories, protected her but I never got any of that in return. It all felt...One-sided. Whatever. Now I have better friends who care about me. They invite me to parties, hanging out etc. I love them and I'm so thankful for them so far. I hope nothing happens that our friendship crumbles. I'm scared. A new school is hard. But that's that. If I talk anymore of school, I'll vomit. So far I'm single and 16. I'm not desperate of a relationship, just very curious. I didn't fall in love in so long. Most of the crushes I had, weren't me being in love, but finding them attractive. Love is different. You get nervous around the person, you're happy when they're happy, you get tingly feelings all ar0und blah blah blah. I want that. But most of the guys I met so far only care about my body and jerking material. I hate it. Whatever, I don't need it that bad anyways. Besides, I would have to lose weight first anyways. I wanna make myself prettier. In no way am I saying that being thin automatically makes you pretty. I'm saying this for myself. For my own face, body etc. Most people look pretty in their own ways. I wanna lose weight to be healthier but also highlight my features. It's gonna be hard but worth it. I hope. 

Dairy. Life. Past.


10/02/2021 01:23 PM 

emo boys r so cute!!!
Current mood:  dirty

emo boy at my school! he also livws behind me and he likes mcr, blink182, etc.............. HIS HAIR IS PERFECT! its parted to the opposite side of mine so we r like opposites!! he waves and grins at me alot i rlly hope he likes me back! joey if u see this hii ur never gonna know who i am but message me ;)

joey i love you, emo boys, emo, scene, alternative, scemo, scene kid, emo kid, love, crunk


10/02/2021 09:04 PM 

I should give up
Current mood:  lonely

They didn't show, they went home already half way here. They were feeling sick and I understand health should be prioritized but... I had my hopes up, I should've expected this. It happens every time. I know they're not faking but I can't help being sad. 

Sad, unrequited love, ditched, dissapointed


10/02/2021 12:43 PM 

i dont get "spring cleaning"
Current mood:  confused

so today i was in my room, as you are, when i decide to plug in my brother's ipad since he had left it not charging before he went to bed. as im pluging it in, i look down to see ants. tons and tons of ants. wanting to throw up, i took a book and killed all of them (i hope) and then sweeped up the others. now as i'm doing this i think "huh wouldnt it be so much easier to clean in winter, when all the bugs are asleep." then i thought again, "wait, why do people have deep cleanings in spring, right at the beginning of bug season?" so i thought and thought and i just dont get. why do people do deep cleanings in spring when winter is literally the best time. get rid of all the grossness and if you accidentally spill some coffee, you wont have to worry about an ant armada coming its merry way to infest your floor boards. anyways, just a thought

spring cleaning, ants, gross, confused


10/01/2021 10:05 PM 

Bombay Beach Trip and Meeting a Miracle
Current mood:  determined

So my Bombay Beach trip went absolutley amazing! I met this wonderful woman Sonja and her boyfriend Eddie (I belive was his name) who own the Ski Inn Bar that was actually parodied in GTA V's version of Bombay Beach! They had no idea and it was charming haha, they were soo sweet. The airbnb exceeded my expectations, the property was huge, had a great morning smoke by the water just a few blocks away.Stopped at the Imperial Valley Mall (reffered to as "The Valley" via a friend I know there) in El Centro on the way back and got some great Chinese food from the food courtAfter staying at my friends' house, I took the train from Old Town to Oceanside and then had to get in a "Sun Diego" shuttle with a "Cal Apportioned" license plate whatever that means, to get me to the Irvine station. I met this amazing woman named Robin, she's a retired Big Lots manager and is embarking on a cross counrty trip to the Detroit area to visit her family, why? Because she was just about to have open heart surgery that would have taken 6 months to recover from, but right as she was on the operating table about to go under she was informed via an X-Ray they took that the tumor dicinegrated and she is good to go home. She said I can say that I sat next to someone who's had a miracle happen to them, and to think I almost went on the other shuttle they had to find a seat where I can have the full row to myslef. We talked about life and getting through college and career and it's one reason why I love train tavelNow my mom had that idea that I buy a home in adjacent Yuma, not only are the home prices lower than I thought, but making a down payment was less expensive, at first I'll have it be a rental property at first because I need to finish City College in San Diego, which I just made another appointment to get going with it and maybe finally register me in some classes

Bombay Beach, Miracle, Miracles, Travel


10/01/2021 04:46 PM 

Current mood:  headphones

how the f*** is headphones a mood

m̸A̸g̵g̴ï̸3̵ ̸m̴A̷g̷g̵Ö̸t̶

10/01/2021 01:11 PM 

Current mood:  blank

i'm sick of everything again,i was complaining about the effects a better mood has on my creativity and now look at me. ready to go.didn't take long. everyone uses me how they want. I'm so stupid.its a cycle that will never go away. maybe this is what I deserve. maybe its what I was made for. hey but now I have some inspiration for my art. cant complain there.


09/30/2021 10:10 AM 

oulala <3
Current mood:  accomplished

oh so tired but so pleased and content. last night me n xena went to see vundabar (!!!!) at the teregram ballroom and it was nothing less of ethreal. i cannot say enough good things about this show, by far the best one i've been to yet. thank you to brandon hagen himself for letting people jump on the stage n crowd surf. also, i got a shirt and pin while xena was able to get gawk on vinyl!!! how exciting. wish they had cds :/ but it's ok lol i'll just look on disgogs or something. i have work later today at noon which is kind of annoying lol. wish i was closing for once. i can't believe i finally saw vundabar bruh!!!! eeee!!! the best peopleeee. i should get ready now, anticipating my coworkers asking me about my bruises and a long nap when i get home ♥ :) peace.

concert post, vundabar, la surf rock scene, teregram ballroom, gawk, work today bleh, bliss


09/30/2021 07:52 PM 

Current mood:  vexed

oh right im trying to figure out how to customize my blog still cos i forgot my password LOL. im fine now but idfk how to make it pretty yet 


09/30/2021 07:48 PM 

Current mood:  apathetic

i want to go home so bad omg i hate it here <4

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