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Blonde hair blowing in the breeze as a silver Ford Escort zips down the back road at speeds that shouldn't even be attempted by anyone short of NASCAR drivers.        Blue eyes flicking back and forth again,  taking in their surroundings.  She was at it again.  This beautiful woman had once again been hurt by the man who claims to love her.   He always did this.  Always.  Cheated on her and beat her and hurt her in so many ways..  but yet,  she always ran back to him.    She was addicted.     And this addiction was certainly killing her.  From the inside out.         She had to get away.  She just had to.   But would he drag her back yet again for more abuse?    Only time could tell..             

Something else I wrote ages ago.      ___________________There's going to be a day eventually,  where I just snap,  and I tell you all the wonderful things I think of you.   How much I love every part of you and your life.       The life you grace me with the presence of .       How I love the blue in your eyes,  and that old worn out earth green coat you wear during the winter time.     How you always seem to have to wear a hat,  no matter how hot or cold it is,  and how you used to wear the grey one so much that it became a part of your identity at work.    How your forehead wrinkles up when your eyebrows raise,  as you take in your surroundings.   How you try to fix your hair to fit into your hat,  and my god how I love your hair long.     I always have liked long hair on guys,  but damn,  you pull it off better than any of them ever have.       How you always seem to have a song either playing out loud,  or playing in your head,  and how sometimes I can catch you singing along.    And how it's so cute when you do.      How you are always there for me when I need it,  and how you pulled me from the darkness that I was trapped in at that very awful time in my life.  You helped me eat when I couldn't even stomach the thought of eating ever again.   You helped me smile when I thought my face was going to be eternally a tear-stained mess,  stuck in the shape of a frown.     How you can make me laugh in Just about any situation,  and how you're the only one who really can.     How you make my soul happy,  along with my heart,  and my mind.  You make me shine.  Because you yourself are the f***ing sun.       You are my sunlight,  my daybreak,  my happiness.  You are my wish on every shooting star,  every 11:11,  every eyelash,  every misplaced necklace hook,  just like the one on your necklace,  which is always flipping itself around and doing what it wants.   Just as you do what you want,  and say what you feel.  You are so outspoken,  and it thrills me that you can stand up for what you feel and what you believe in,  even when life throws so many challenges at you.  So many terrible circumstances,  some of which you have trusted me with the secrets of.   And my god,  do I value that trust you have in me.   You are beautiful.  Perfectly imperfect.   Absolutely amazing to me.  You once said that smiles suit me,  but maybe they only suit me because you're the one causing them.        And you may not know it yet....  But you are my idea of pure happiness.   I just wish you could see what I see in you,  in yourself.   And oh how I wish that I had the courage to say this to you myself.  You are f***ing amazing to me.    You are sweet.    You are kind.  You are my favorite part of the day,  when I get to see you or talk to you,  and you give me life when I feel dead.   You are the greatest.    

Another thing i wrote like literally years ago.  Lol.   There is a man.  A man with the ability to make anyone laugh; To make people smile.  He can do so even when a person wants to do nothing more than cry.  He has a way of brightening days.    Brightening them just like the sun in the midday sky.    Now,  life seems to have disagreements with his pure glow and ways of bringing happiness to those around him.                     It looks hard to find and take every opportunity that it possibly can to strike him down,  but he always gets back up,  and stronger so.  Life has stricken him with pain,  with legal troubles,  with stress, with so many disadvantages,  with things that can not be cured at this present time....  But he still carries on.     Now,  this man..      He really may not know it,  but he is the very reason why I was able to carry on when my life was crashing down around me.     He gave me advice.  He gave me laughter.  He gave me solace when I thought that it couldn't exist. This man was my rock through all of my pain,  and he didn't even fully understand the effect he had on me.   I had no one.  I had no friends to care.  I had nothing at all.  At a time when no one else gave a sh*t..  he did.     He did.     And now,  I want to return the favor in any way that I can.  I want to steal his pain and end his troubles.  I want to be able to fix it all.     Like he unknowingly gave me the strength to begin to fix mine.     I know that I can't do a lot,  but God damn it,  I can certainly try.     And try,  I will.     My very hardest.     This man will not fall down.    

 Something I wrote a really really long time ago .   __________________________You'll never be alone because I'll always be here to have you. To keep you company and love you unconditionally. You'll never be alone because every time I look into your eyes,  I want to get lost in them and never return to the world again. You'll never be alone because no one has ever made me feel the way that you do. You'll never be alone because it's you.  And it's always been you.   For the years that I couldn't erase you from my mind.  For now,  when I finally have you.  It's you.  And it's always been destined to be you.  Obviously the works and universe agree with us on this one. You'll never be alone because you and I fit perfectly together. You'll never be alone because you're my escape from reality,  while at the same time being my ground and rock to keep me in reality.     You're everything. Everything.

Little girl,  don't you know,  That your words have caused a world of hurt?   Little girl,  have you found,  That you caused a drought,  made a desert?A father torn.  A brother scorned.  Little girl,  look what you've done.  With your eyes so blue,  Once filled with warmth,  Now turned to cold,  A winter storm.  And locks of gold,  Now filled with thorns,  To match the lies That you should mourn.     But you don't bat a lash,  You really don't care.  You got what you wanted,  And left them bare.  Crying wolf Should be ignored,  Crocodile tears, Shouldn't warrant reward.   But the world's not fair,  And you plunged your swordOf words and betrayal,  Your life now Abhorred.     By those who once loved you,  By those who once cared.   Your white picket fence may crumble,  When you're the most unprepared.        

Super old poem I wrote .  _______________________________You cannot crumble.  I'll hold you together.  Even if you stumble,  I'll still be here forever.  Your eyes are like oceans,  Or bright summer skies.   Your heart keeps mine in motion.  And Your hands are where mine,  beating,  lies.     Your mystifying presence,  Picks me up when I am down.  Your very life essence,  Is what's keeping me around.   That shimmer in your smile,  And your arms around my waist,  Mean I'll be happy for awhile.   For the rest of my days.     So in your saving beauty,  That you've graced me with thus far,  You've made it now my duty,  To be exactly where you are.  My heart is yours,  my head is set,  I guess someday you'll see,  That I'm saving you,  my darling.  Because you're saving me.    

Perfect hair,  a skinny waist.  A happy smile,  filled with grace.   Talents that I could never achieve.  Why do I have to be me?All these girls have different skills. They have better bodies,  and looks to kill.   They can do more than me,  they put me to shame.  But really,  I'm the one to blame.   This is my fault.  I'm the one who's insane.  So really..  I bring my own shame.                                                                     -Myself.  07/03/2018.  11:25 pm.

A gentle breeze.  The night air carried a chill,  but that chill brought Mala joy!    It meant that things were returning to how they used to be. Her clan was returning to her.   The night was calm.    There was hope.  The wind picked up,  bringing a scent to Mala that enthralled her. It was actually a mixture of scents coming from many of her kind;  Many whose scents she had come to memorize on their own,  clashing together into one scent all new,  but yet also so old that it could trigger nostalgia.  The scent of her clan.    A smile came to her lips,  and she glanced at Sala Maria,  who was smirking back at her.   Mahyu stood to their right,  looking confused,  as he hadn't had much experience as a daywalker before his night time self went dormant for all of those years. He hadn't yet memorized the scents.        But he would.        They would teach him all there is to know.  And they would keep him safe.   But right now..  they didn't have to worry about that.   The clan was near,  and the night was calm.                   All was well.     07/23/2018.  Part of my stories I've been writing since Sophomore Year.                                                         

I was tidying up today, And I found something from you. We don't talk anymore, And I didnt realize who this was from. I thought maybe the handwriting belonged to someone who is still in my life now. Or someone I had a falling out with due to lack of communication, but no. I got a pit in my stomach when I realized it was from you. Even though I know it was you, I still read it, it read "Hey, did you know That you are the most loving, caring, and amazing friend anyone could ask for? And did you know That I can always count on you to be there for me when I'm down, and no matter how upset I am, you some how always find a way to make me laugh You have never failed me. Hey, and did you know, One if my favorite things about you is how we can speak through our favorite songs, and look at eachother and read each other's minds, it's freaky, but awesome. I love how well you can understand me like no one else does. I love how you're creative, and hilarious, and you are really something else. There's no one else like you..." There's so much more to that, but I should really just stop, it ends with a thank you, and an I love you. It wasnt much more than a year ago When you had completely changed your mind. But hey, did you know, That I had some of the best times In my life with you? That my first concert was magical with a best friend like you? I couldnt have imagined a better day. And also, did you know That when you come up in conversation, I don't think badly of you? I talked with a friend that the both of us used to be friends with, and he said he doesn't either. Today my mom said she would defend you if she had to, and I would too. Oh yeah, and did you know, That someone told me you wanted to hang out with our old friend until you saw him with me. And I know you get uncomfortable around me, when you told me that we wouldnt want it to be awkward. The funny thing is, I still look at you, and I feel like I can read your mind. It's a freaky feeling, and it doesnt feel awesome. Oh, and one last thing, did you know, That it puzzles me, that apparently such a horrible, selfish person who supposedly doesnt actually care about anyone, Smiles at her old best friend in the hallway,even though she her tore her apart, she wont even look her in the eyes, and wont give her the slightest bit of respect. I have a lot of regrets. Our friendship wasnt one of them. But I feel like if I let you back in, that would be one of my only regrets about you.

Editing.

Time away.I hope you're okay.I know you're away,Don't forget me;While you- live on.Types to take it day by day;Always been this way.And I just work on- maybe some time now; I'll be off again.You off yet?Life is a time, stretching issue.We all have life;Ohh be the best we all can be.Hope that's what they see.

tonight is about pretending that they're someone else maybe they have the same eyes but a closer look will tell you that they don't hold the same mirth please melt away my love and affections because even the summer heat couldn't dispose of what was left (whichwaseverythingtherewasbefore) i'm your favourite haunt and you don't even know it i wish you did so you could send your ghost away postcards from new york i hope you send me letters sealed with a kiss but i know you won't write let alone spare me what i've wanted for so long this is for you and him because i can't make up my mind you have the same blood anyway   loveabby

Ok so me and Tom didn't work out, it kinda died and he accused me of being a hoe(?) so yeah I'm not seeing him anymore xDI started talking to a wonderful wonderful guy :3 his name is Charlie and he's at uni in London, we've only been together a few days but I am mega gay xD I really hope that this relationship works because I really really like him..I started college and I have friends! And I'm playing music with people every day! It's so much fun doing what I love every day it makes me so happy :3I made up with an old friend and we've been talking again, which is nice. I'm fed up of beef, I never remember any of the details as to why it's even happening..Yeah I just wanted to tell you guys about Charlie tbh I'm so so happy at the moment he is the most beautiful guy I've ever laid eyes on and I'm so blessed :')

denial.the first stage of greiving.am i greaving?i dont believe it. i wont believe it.

Life is full of chaos.The strange world of society.Some false accused, in a prison they lay.Some peaceful men, in cages. This is today. Life goes in stages.Different chapters. Pray.A major issue of anyone.It's not the future.We are able to do the impossible.We as men are not invincible.But with love-We are able to extend the possible!It's more important than, you!Life is a curve ball.We feel it all.Holding ourselves true.How can I inspire?..Let's be the example.Be humble!Live simple.