and
Category: Real Life

it’s the middle of winter and I’m freezing my f***ing ass off because apparently this this the only place I can have a glimpse of clarity. why are these clouds so close together? and where the f*** is the sun? I guess maybe if I turn around I might be able to see it, but I just can’t bring myself out of my own stupid ways. and I guess here comes that stone cold clarity I was rambling about earlier.

you keep saying things and I keep feeling them. (even my shoes remind me of you. what the f*** is wrong with me.) my brain is crammed full of law lectures and empty shopping centres and your words and my feelings and... and... and... it feels like it never ends. I wish I had all my thoughts compartmentalised but that would take years so I’ll just salvage what my mind can regurgitate. 

sometimes I wonder if after this is all over I’ll regret any of it, I think I just might. but for now my brain is a mess and I need to buy some more f***ing draws. maybe take care of myself a little - whatever that means. 

but as always, things go on and infinity is waiting for us all at the end of it. so I guess in all, things aren’t so sh*tty.

thanks for everything,

mikey.