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you're nothing but a weightless body and sunken eyesyou tell yourself this will pass but you forgot what it was like before thisstanding up on frail bones that are willing to give out on any secondYou can't remember what happened to youYou don't want toyou're made up of nothing but a doctors pity and prescriptions 

i want to dress like this but i dont know were to shop and i dont have enough money :(

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guess i'm here or whateva...

Not me figuring out how to change my banner a couple of minutes after I vent about it :| Goes to show how fast my mood can change. 

I wish they made it easier to customize! It's too difficult. I've gone to help blogs, watched videos, and still can't change my stupid banner. I've used sites to do it for me, went to where it said I can change it and it doesn't workThis was literally one of the reasons I left last time. I'm tired and stressed and just want a pretty and cool vlog like everyone else!

I dreamed that I was trying to walk away from a party in my neighborhood at night. There were christmas/haloween lights up at the houses even through the weather felt more summer-y. I don't remember exactly why I was trying to leave the party, but I remember that something unpleasent was going on there that I didn't want to see. But I think I was enjoying my walk, i was listening to music from my phone and I was enjoying my own company.Then I took a right into the feild near my local rec-center and saw some of my friend who were at the party running twords me wearing glowstick braclets and necklaces. I felt a little woriied that my friends would pry on why I left the party but they just started walking with me.

All I do every day is play the Sims. I switch between Sims 3 and 4, but I wanna play Sims 2! Just to pretend I'm a teen in 2004 and the whole world isn't crashing around us. I tried to pirate the Sims 2, I own the expansions but I don't have the base game anymore, but it didn't work :(. My computer didn't have enough space. Sims 4 is so boring when I don't have any mods installed. Even then all I do is play with the violence mod and stripper mod XD. Sims 3 is fun, but I absolutely hate the mouse controls. I wish Sims 3 had the Sims 4 controls. It would be much easier to control my game. Anyway, I wish the Sims 4 had the eat the baby mod. 

I’m in a constant need to fixate on one particular thing in dull/depressing ruts in my life and I just recently have been stuck in this cycle of being in a better-ish spot and still not being happy. I’ve started to fixate on my weight, which isn't unhealthy at all but it’s started again and I thought I was over the whole thing after high school but it seems that I was wrong. I can't really talk about it anywhere else so I figured this would be the best place. Anywho, I hope you all have a happy holiday(s) and such ♥ take carexx-asteria 

i helped maggie write an email today. it was kinda fun tbh i really like helping them out. maggies feeling better today but they still have a stomach ache :/ i saw a beautiful picture of maggie today:) they are so f***ing gorgeous it makes my heart beat really fast and i get all wowed out. when i left my room my mom saw how red my face was lmao. we talked about moree life planning stuff, and we talked about driving and me getting a car, and maggie helped me take driving tests:) the keychain maggie got me came today!!! its so cute:)) i want to get a car just so i can use it. its amazing:) maggie made fun of my thumb lol. they showed me their hands too:) maggie has really nice hands. i made a custom planner and little keychain square with maggies pictures on them:) theyre awesome! maggies pickles didnt turn out right :/ they just tasted like vinegar ig. i watched maggie play games:) it was like they were streaming for me. theyre my favorite streamer! we looked at phones too. im gonna get an iphone :o i wont have a sh*t phone anymore so i can play w maggie and not ruin games lol. they made custom alerts:)) and they send em when i donate! i like supporting maggie and seeing that makes it really fun. 

I finished my 8-week internship at a fabric store and am now on winter break. I have a lot of schoolwork to catch up on but I've been feeling pretty unmotivated all through my senior year so far... I'm hoping to just take it slow and not stress myself out too much over my work but it has been hard since I hold myself to a very high standard and it feels like no matter what I do there's always something I could do better. I'd like to think that perfectionism is a good quality to have but not in my case where my standards often keep me from being productive. I try to tell myself that its always better to have something that's mediocre but finished than perfect but forever in progress but the humiliation of having to face my peers and my teachers to show off something I'm not proud off is the worst feeling...I've mentioned it in a previous post but my plan is to study art at uni so I'm trying to focus more on my art and building a portfolio over regular schoolwork because if I'm too much of a depressed mess to do one thing I might as well put all my energy into something I enjoy more. Why do all my blog posts start as cute life updates and end as depressed rants? Anyway.. here's a bad bitch graphic to cheer you up after this downer... 

hey guys, so I plan on posting more stuff on my "blog"so here are some lists of things I could post abt: Style/ootd Day in my life Mental Health Music recommendatons Anime/Movies Shopping links Healthy diet / exercise comment what you would like to see on my blog♥if you have other recommendation i'd be happy to hear it

rei is too finneee. he is literally so hot like look at him LOOK AT HIM omg i think i'm going to explode.  p.s i hope this can convince people to read the manga.

has someone else read the mars manga because i literally need someone to talk to about it because it is sooo good. if you haven't read it yet please read it. the manga deserves more recognition for how good it is. the plot, characters, pacing, development, storytelling and pretty much everything else is just *chefs kiss*.

Find the Playlist here Whether angsty covers of Christmas classics or original festive tracks to tug on your heartstrings, these songs are the perfect soundtrack for feeling emo under the mistletoe. T’is the season, after all.