creep

ok how do i say it. i know there are people that show interest in me and stuff of that nature. but i cant ever get behind it at all. and it makes me mad since i would very much like to overly like someone. i'd like to do cheesy things for someone. its strange since like thinking about cheesy things makes me wannt throw up cuz ew thats gross but it is also very cute. i like the idea of holding hands and hugs now and i think i liked it better when i didnt since its now a longing. im mad at myself for not letting things just happen with people since i keep saying i want these things so bad but dont ever give anything a chance but ahhhh. sometimes i wanna just force myself into giving things a shot cuz then i can say that i tried but idk.
plus its like i cant connect with these people. like i just dont click with them at all. its silly since i dont even give it an actual shot but its v v silly