first blog post ig lolzz

ive decided im gonna start doing these, doubt anyone will read them but its worth a shot lol. i dont really know what to put here. i guess you can say ive been in a really rough spot for awhile, more like my whole life but still. i love this boy, he lives so far from me, yet i wanna make it work more than anything. ive never wanted someone so much, loved someone so much like literally ever. he means the absolute world to me and has been here for me through alot. i just want him to come see me already, i know everything will be okay when he gets here. i just hope its soon, hes literally seen me at my worst and is the only person i feel like i can be myself around you know? weve been through alot together, i love him, i dont care what people say online about us. they dont know the true him like i do. hes shy, he is caring, handsome, and everything i could ever want. sometimes i doubt he loves me, but i hope its not true and im just being paranoid from my previous relationship. sometimes i wish hed reassure me more, i just feel like things will be better once he actually gets here. he says hes ready. i am too. the question is how much longer am i gonna be able to wait? ;-; i just want him here. i want him to kiss me, make me feel something for once..point is, if this doesnt work out and if i ever lose him i think ill lose my mind. ive waited my whole life to be happy with someone like him...