what my "friend" put me through pt1
Category: Blogging
Current mood:  sleepy

im going to tell you about the "characters" before i start so you don't get confused. ~this isn't a made up story but i did change all of their names for privacy reasons~ 

(tr*gger w4rning: mentions of r4p3 and s3xual assault allegations)

"characters"
ex-bff//elena
her ex//wyatt
her girl bff//ava
her dude bff//derrick
lacrosse boy//bryan
lacrosse boys friend//josh

@the concert-summer 2019
those are some bad names lol but imma just go with it. i was friends with elena for almost two years? it was on and off because we fought every other week over something petty. i liked elena and idk why i did but i just wanted to make her happy and protect her. the summer after i met her she and i went to a billie concert. i preordered tickets and paid for hers because she was my "friend". i also drove her there then back which was an hour long drive both times but thats not the point. while we were in line sitting and waiting she asked me if she could tell me smth and i said yea of course. she goes "i had s*x with bryan over the weekend on a pingpong table." and she starts going into detail about how "big" he was and how attractive he is. but a few months earlier i told her i liked him and she said she did too. so i assumed girl code you know? but a week or two earlier she told me she got with him and i told her that i don't care but that i just didn't want to hear about it cause it didn't make me feel too good. (to be fair i had a boyfriend at the time [he was 4bus!ve im not with him anymore thank the lord lmao]) she said she wouldn't then brought it up in the middle of waiting to see billie. i took her there, paid for her ticket and took her back to her house. and she told me a month or two earlier about how she wanted to get with a dude but that her friend anna liked him too so that she didn't because of girl code. i told her she should anyways if it made her happy and she said she couldn't do that to her and told me about girl code. so of course i assumed that girl code would apply to me too but apparently not. which made me feel like she didn't think of me as a friend. but i didn't want to start a fight in the middle of the line because we had to wait a couple more hours. i reminded her how i already told her before that i don't care what she does but that i just don't want to hear about it. she told me that i didn't and that she didn't tell me before but she did. i don't know if she forgot or just lied but i clearly remember her telling me and me saying that i don't want to know. it got awkward after i told her i didn't want to hear about it and there was tension until the line started movie and we were closer to enter the concert. we were really excited and we went in as soon as possible ofc. it was so chaotic but i was so excited because i've been listening to billie ever since the melanie martinez r4p3 accusations came out because a friend reccomended her to me and i didn't want to support a r4p!st. (yes i should've done more research and found out wether it was true or not but i didn't want to risk supporting one.) i think the accusations started in 2017 near october? i saw her grow from having less than 1M followers to up to 64.7M (now). so of course i was excited. we waited in line for hours then had to wait another hour or so while standing because we had general admission. i had a panic attack from how loud it was and i got overheated so i passed out twice and i got pushed to the front to be removed because of it. i refused to leave because i didn't want to waste my money and time. after i got pushed to the front elena tried to catch up but the crowd refused to let her through. we got seperated and i thought she would try to come up again but she didn't. later i told her i was sorry we got seperated and asked if she was okay and why she didn't come or make me go with her. she said it was fine and that she hung out with a dude shes hooked up with before. so it sorta felt like she left me at the concert i took her to just to hang out with some dude. it made me feel like i didn't even matter to her. 

this is already somewhat of a long post so i'm going to write this out in parts. its a long story but no ones going to read it anyways so its okay. i just need to say what happened so i can process it and move on. i'll write/upload the next parts soon but im going to upload one part a day.