FriendProject.net

i don’t know what to do here! i just got this account and i’m very confused >.<

so i named the kittens their names are: queen, party, ghoul, sebastion, and scar. uh. its 7 in the morning and i have not slept for sh*t and uh. i have discovered ghoul, the runt of the litter, has died and i did nothing to stop that! hooray. he was my favorite too. time to turn up the royalty free ukulele music ig.

December was the cruelest month. November never could've predicted the hellhole I was thrown into during the preceding month. The girl I loved for almost two years had found a new boy. She was never really mine; I know that much. I thought she would never leave me; I never thought my own friend would take her away from me. Countless nights were spent talking to her via Snapchat and Instagram; I never thought those days would end so soon. However, I'm constantly reminded of the end of that era when I see her walking down the halls in the arms of the very guy that split us up. But for some reason, I cannot blame him. I have tried time and time again to blame him for our falling out. I've tried to place all the blame on him to no avail! He has no fault in this mess. It is his fault he fell in love with her. But I refuse to believe he forced her to leave me, much less to purposefully break up a friendship he KNEW meant so much to both sides. I place the blame fully on her: the girl who wasted almost two years of my life, the girl who I fully depended on. My life had revolved around her; I had no time to develop any other relationships when I was with her. I had fallen too deep into the rabbit hole that is a friendship with [redacted]. I loved her so much that I still struggle to find the proper words to describe the adoration I held towards her. [redacted] had been the light of my life, my confidant, best friend, and so much more. No remnants of our friendship are left aside from the text messages I refuse to delete because I don't want to appear as immature and I still need to communicate with her about everything Migrations related. I have deleted all of our conversations apart from the aforementioned. Every and any trace of her from my Snapchat memories are gone, but it was in no way the easiest thing to do. I've done 80 curl-ups and over 60 laps in the oh-so-dreaded PACER test that increased my heartbeat tenfold by hearing a split second of the audio. It's February now, almost three months since my last real conversation with her. I never realized how toxic I had become to myself when I was with her. No disrespect to her, but I blindly followed everything she said. Leah? [redacted] hated her until something changed. I never had anything towards Leah, but I knew she wasn't perfect. Most of us aren't perfect, so who can really speak for that? While I was aware I was blindly following what she said (thanks, Nick), I rejected any form of slander towards Maritza. How could I? Maritza had been my friend longer than I knew of [redacted]’s existence. See, Maritza had been the one that introduced me to [redacted] and allowed a relationship to between [redacted] and me to bloom. I will always be in debt to Maritza for giving me the wonderful experience of knowing the enigma [redacted] was. [redacted] had so much to say about everyone around her and I knew no better than to listen and agree. Despite her telling me I didn't have to agree with everything she said whenever we had mild disagreements or I wasn't versed well enough on a topic, I continued. I don't want to continue to throw her under the bus, so I'll move on. From a creative mind to an eccentric writer, you exemplified everything I want to be. I idolized you for all the wrong reasons, despite me saying I didn't. Looking back at our relationship, I should've listened to Nick. I know she doesn't like him, but he certainly had much merit to his words. Perhaps I could've avoided the pain of losing you if I had listened to Nick and distanced myself. I'm grateful our relationship is over. I don't know how I could've realized the toxicity of my actions if I hadn't taken a step back. I deserve this break from you. I'm sorry you feel as if though you have no friends after our split. You only have yourself to blame for that one, darling. Losing my friendship was no one's fault but yours. [redacted], I'm sorry for any pain I've caused you during that last phone call we had months ago. But there is no way in hell that I will regret that action. I will never forget the day I knew it was over between us. It was during lunch when we were in Strong's room. [redacted] had you wrapped around his stupid, little finger and I could do nothing but watch. I was sick on watching! I did the only thing I could think of: leave. There was so much pent up resentment towards you in that instance that the only thing I could do was cry. It was the most embarrassing thing I had ever been through. And to think you were my best friend who could NEVER cause any pain to me. You said you cared about me. You told me [redacted] meant NOTHING to you. You said you would break things off with him for the last time! These were all lies, of course. How could you give up a guy that gave you attention no one else could? In a way, I understand. But you're a senior, you're leaving in a few months? How long do you think this thing with [redacted] will last? I've heard the things he's said to you and you are not the only one to have heard those words from him. He's a hurt boy who's struggled with life in more ways that either of us has. I don't blame him for falling for the one person I loved more than anything in the world. I just wish you had learned how to use your time. If you knew how to handle more than one relationship at a time I would still be by your side. I wouldn't be stuck writing this damn essay on my laptop if you had simply listened to me and made time for the one person that loved you beyond anything in the world. I hope this is something to think about.

Every day on my way to second period I see a girl I thought could never not love me. I was wrong, of course. She found a new guy and I was out of the picture in no time. Still, I speak highly of her. In an essay I wrote not too long ago (“Champagne for my Real Friends, Real Pain for my Sham Friends”), I addressed her as an eccentric writer, a creative mind, and an enigma. Those were only positives, meant to rid me of any sort of backlash for speaking ill of a friend to many. But what’s the truth without some negatives? I can call [redacted] and enigma all I want to cover up my truths, but that doesn’t do her justice. She’s not perfect and no less human than I. However, the bitter qualities she exemplified throughout my extended time with her were more than visible. Somewhat, I feel responsible, like I owe her something for being such a trustworthy confidant. [redacted] was, in essence, the love of my life.

too much time  in speeding cars and red hair dye rock n roll red like the bottle says more rock n roll like the boy in the driver seat late night speeding down a highway i can’t be bothered to remember  adrenaline rushing  hearts pumping just trying to get back home to f*** up some more now threes a crowd and we’re cooped up in a bathroom bleach in my hair pink hair dye in his she’s just watching laughing rock n roll red is in with the bottle half empty sid vicious would laugh if he saw me fake punk wannabe emo kid 2004 myspace would be proud he’s sitting on a closed toilet seat she’s across from him holding his hand so gently painting his nails alternating colors every 35 seconds

the foolish boy decided it was okay to fall in love with his best friend for the second time. one boyfriend and another two crushes later, that dumbass still had feelings for his best friend. but there was something about waiting at that stoplight in the hot austin weather and laughing uncontrollably over a fat pigeon photo, his face a few inches from the boy in the driver’s seat. or maybe it was sitting in the parking lot of an in n out where i complained about a pulsating headache and you nagged me to hit your dab pen to which i ignored because i didn’t want to embarrass myself in front of you. you put your arm behind my seat and i turned to face you, thinking it was time to finally kiss you, but i didn’t. you looked at me and i stared at your face, my heartbeat picking up. i can’t remember what we were talking about, which is probably for the best, and all i can remember is your hand brushing my hair out of my face. my short, bleached blonde hair in the grasp of your fingers. your tattoo fully visible and i stared at it when i couldn’t handle looking into your eyes anymore. it’d be a terrible, yet poetic lie to say that was the moment when i fell in love with you for a second time. but, i don’t think i fell out of love with you. in the letter i wrote you, i forgave you for going on a date with miriam when both of you knew i had feelings for you. the first day we hung out again you brought it to me, telling me about how it made you laugh and how you loved the letter. the letter which you still carry in the glovebox of your car. the letter, still in its envelope, i see every time you reach over my knees to open the compartment to get your weed out. i don’t know how many more times i’m gonna see you this summer, but i want to make you a promise here tonight.

You think you're funny right? Calling me drunk when it's too late at night Telling me truths that you know all are lies Yeah, you think you're funny right You think you're super sly Flirting with them but telling me you're mine Building me up, but buttercup you lied Now I'm gonna ruin your life 'Cause I've gotten tired of the games that you play When you tell me you love me then you throw me away So cry me a river till you drown in the lake 'Cause you may think you're winning but checkmate Yeah you may think you're winning but checkmate Now this is getting fun I saw you kissing someone else's tongue You said that I'm the only one you love Baby this is getting fun I'll let you think you won Date in the park I'll play it super dumb Holding your hand but in the other one I'm holding a loaded gun Yeah baby you should really run 'Cause I've gotten tired of the games that you play When you tell me you love me then you throw me away So cry me a river till you drown in the lake 'Cause you may think you're winning but checkmate Yeah you may think you're winning but check And I'm gonna get you gone Can't play me like your pawn Set fire to your lawn Just like you did to my heart And I'mma wreck your car (and I'mma wreck your car) And max your credit cards (and max your credit cards) A lover on the large (a lover on the large) You're gonna wish you never harmed me Cause I've gotten tired of the games that you play When you tell me you love me then you throw me away So cry me a river till you drown in the lake 'Cause you may think you're winning but checkmate And you did some damage so I'm making you pay And no one's ever gonna love you anyways 'Cause you're just a narcissist who's totally fake Yeah you may think you're winning this heartbreak But you aren't gonna win it 'cause checkmate

my cat had babies guys, im a great grandparent cause the cat that gave birth is the child of my first cat. there's five of them and idk what to name them so.

♥️ HI hello i want to make a digital/online zine about CHRONIC CONDITIONS/"ILLNESSES"--this includes any sort of chronic health conditions and includes mental "illness"/neurodivergence....♥️♥️ a few examples of chronic conditions: crohns disease, fibromyalgia, autism, depression, bipolar, schizophrenia, lupus, eczema, rheumatoid arthritis, seizures, asthma, diabetes, HIV, ulcerative colitis, multiple sclerosis....and so on♥️♥️♥️ please excuse the use of the word "illness......" these can be very troubling conditions with complex contexts, circumstances, triggers, reactions, and consequences.....the theme is perseverance despite difficulty, not falling victim to whatever life throws at you. i think this is what the term "illness" conveys for some individuals.♥️♥️♥️♥️ if you want to be a part of the zine PLS message me. i want to include all sorts of things, poetry, visual art, comics, photos, quizzes, interviews, whatever interests you honestly!!!♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ i deal with multiple chronic conditions, including aspergers, PTSD, and IBS!!!! & i work in healthcare, so this is something very VERY close to my heart......♥️♥️THANK YOU♥️♥️ so much for reading this, please send along any ideas u have as i am always happy to chat ^____^ & spread the word if u can!!

oh my dear gods, i just joined this site yesterday and the few profiles i've encountered are horrendous and i love it

       I just did 100 crunches. I can feel the aftermath of it right now. I am trying to get into the habit of doing crunches or sit-ups every single day. I was going to just stop eating as much, but I don't want to stop eating. I have grown to love eating. I have no problem with my body except my protruding stomach. I love my big ass and my big boobs. I just want my stomach to be flat. I have gotten super basic with my selfies lately because of my size. I don't usually get too creative with them anymore. When I was skinny as f*** I could pull off any photo. I was skinny as f*** and pretty as f***. I don't feel as good about myself as I did when I weighed 118 pounds. It's hard for me to get into the habit of working out because my whole life I was skinny and never needed too. Back then I didn't really gain weight either. I had a hard time gaining much weight most my life. Now that I gained weight I can't seem to get the pounds off. It f***ing sucks which is why I am now trying to do crunches every single day. Once it gets too easy, I will have to up the amount I do a day.       I am almost done with the dishes! I have maybe like 2 or 3 more loads to soak and do. It's a good feeling to get something done. I can't stand it when the house is a mess. I really want it to look completely spotless, but I know that won't happen any time soon unless Kenny helps me clean. I've been doing really good at checking off everything that I need to do lately. I have been on a role. I am so sick of sitting at home its not even funny. I really want a job so I can buy sh*t and not have to hear it from my boyfriend when I ask him for money. Now I will be able to pay for my sh*t without Kenny helping me out all the time. I miss being able to have money to spend. It's not much, but it's still money.        I wonder when Kenny is going to be back. He has been gone for awhile. I am super f***ing bored. I don't want to drink though. I want to get high. Besides, smoking weed is way better for you than getting drunk. Weed you can't get addicted too. Alcohol on the other hand, you can. Every time you get super f***ing drunk you are risking getting alcohol poisoning, risking a mean hang over the next day, and risk throwing up depending on how much you choose to drink. None of that type of sh*t happens when you smoke weed. If anything, it has more of a positive effect on your body than harmful. No one has ever died from smoking weed. People have died from drinking too much. I really want to f***ing grow so that I never have to spend a single dime on pot ever again. I can't though until my boyfriend is off papers.        My confidence has really been up and down lately. I really need to stop comparing myself to other girls that are skinnier or prettier, and do something about it. Going back to me mentioning that I am going to be working out just my stomach. I am hoping that once my stomach fat is gone, then maybe my confidence will come back full force. I hate feeling like this. I know every single girl goes through this sh*t no matter what she looks like, but ya know. Ya can't really avoid it.       I hope Kenny gets home soon. I really want to hang out with him. I will prob work on cleaning my room aka our room, and do some dishes. It's something to pass the time. I find myself bored a lot of the time lately. I really need a job so I can get back to enjoying the little things like watching TV or reading a book. It gets old doing the same sh*t over and over again. I feel lonely. I hate not being able to hang out with people whenever the f*** I please. I haven't seen Korri in a long time. I have no idea why. Maybe she is finally stepping up to the plate and spending time with her kid. I have no idea what shes been up to. We talk once in awhile, but not very often.        

Think about your SENIOR year in High School. The longer ago it was, the more fun the answers will be:20071. Did you know your current love? Yes. He was my crush2. Type of car?Didn't have one3. What kind of job did you have?House keeping at the vista 4. Where did you live? With my mom & dad5. Were you popular? Probably not, idc lol 6. Were you in choir? No7. Ever get suspended from school? No8. If you could would you go back?Yes!9. Still talk to the person that you went to prom with? No10. Did you skip school? Yes11. Go to all the football games?Yes12. Favorite subject? Math & Early Childhood Education 13. Do you still have your yearbooks? I have 2 right now 14. Did you follow the career path? Kinda lol im a mom now. 15.Do you have a class ring?Nope16. Still close with your best friend?Yes 17. Who was your favorite teacher?  Lori Adkins 18. What was your style?Comfy19. Favorite shoes? Whatever I had. Idk20. Favorite thing to eat in cafeteria?  Pizza21. Favorite band? B5, 2XL2. High school hair? Either straight or perm23. What kind of perfume/cologne? Vanilla 24. How old when you graduated? 1725. Did you play a sport?Tried track didn't like it Ok, it’s your turn! 😆(Press finger, copy & paste to your status, change the answers & pass it on)

Heyzz.. I don't like 2 talk anout my feelings online.. but I rlly rlly wish I had sum emo/scene friendz irl. I hav 1 but we r the only ones around that we know of. I would love to get a group of people together a take over Ross Park Mall. (a mall near where I live). Would anyone b down for this???

       I am drunk as hell right now. I am jamming to Phil Collins like a boss. I love him in all the Tarzan songs. The Tarzan songs were my favorite Disney movie music. I'm jamming to it right now. I love him OMG! I am a huge Phil Collins fan haha! I can thank my dad for that haha! I like a lot of music because of my dad. I grew up listening to Alice Cooper, Twisted Sister, Queen, Pink Floyd, and so on.        I am on live video right now too. Not on here obviously. I am on meet me live haha! People love watching me live. I am a pretty colorful person haha! I AM SNOOKI! As for Phil ColliI ns, hes f***ing awesome. My favorite music are from the Disney movies that has Phil Collins doing all of the music. The movies he sings the songs to are Tarzan and Brother Bear. He is an amazing artist. Has been sense he existed back in the day. My adoptive father loves him. I pretty much like any rock star that my adoptive dad likes. I love Queen and me and my family went to go see the new Queen movie and we all loved it. Even my brother Anthony said the movie was really good.        I really want to go see famous rock stars in concert with my dad. It is something on my bucket list. I am going to call him from my phone as soon as my boyfriend gets home with my phone. I have been having issues with it charging. As long as I am home I can call people but if not, I am screwed.        I gotta go I f***ed up lol. 

Heyzz! So I've decided that I am going to make a new YouTube channel soon. I'm gonna post what it is soon if yall would still be interested in it. :)