FriendProject.net

whats Up hi im ryan im a dude and my life is pretty alrightsometimes things Happen in my life and i guess here is where i Say Them in case anyone..actually wants 2 hear them :pi just finished w my profile on here, cant decide on a good gerard profile pic though, i keep changing it lolother than that im kinda tired ! + im sick rn (mono,, smh) but hoping i get better soon-r

what am i doing

i feel like i'm constantly like in a funk, like i have no idea what my identity is, how it relates to the people and world around me idk if it's the bdp talking or if the restlessness sticks deeper into another unresolved trauma i still haven't gotten around to ... man i wish it was easier, like some msg came into my inbox, that told me EXACTLY who i was and was supposed to be, and that would be it? i'm not sure about anything at all!!!i'm even reaching a point where i'm questioning my sexuality, just because i'm so damn insecure, but i can't really do much about it really??? i don't want to date guys, be with them or just ugh, but i know 0% gay ppl around me because of you guessed it! this is a rather small town, conservative and full of gang-related violence, where i at times don't feel safe even walking in broad daylight, if it wasn't for the fact, that'm trying really hard to seem intimidating, so ppl will leave me alone.think that's also why i'm alone atm, ppl have told me i'm intimidating, too much and "weirdly creepy". okay... but those ppl are the same that bullied me in middle school for reading ... for reading more than whatever our teachers gave us. reading ... i got bullied for reading??? for a long time being a weird nerd was my identity, now it feels more like it's the depressed big sis who's stuck in her emo phase forever. i don't know how to move, especially not from how much of a hit my mental health have taken, more like hits, but last year at this time i was in the hospital after a suicide attempt, so i guess i'm doing great in that category, as i haven't seen the inside of a psych ward, hospital or doctors office for almost 3 months now. why is being alive so hard???

i'm somewhat new to this website and i have no clue what to expect...i'm not very good at keeping things like this active so let's just hope for the best!

Yay! Cool we have a scene revival in the works amd it looks like more people are joinging FP. Thid is neat ive been waiting years for this! But now here's my goal:I gotta find a way to enable and embed an Adobe flash mp3 player into the user profile like the OG MySpace. Lately we've all been getting by with simply embedding a YouTube video into our about me section and having it set to Autoplay, but since YouTube changed its policies, the videos no longer autoplay. It's bullsh*t. Plus an MP3 player would have more songs on it!What I've figured out so far is what website to go through to get it for free. However, after getting through the very 2007 format of the website, I come to a brick wall when I can actually add the songs to the mp3 player. You can't click a button and it directs you to your music folder like a modern day computer would. You have a line of info to enter. Title, Artist, and then URL location (has to end with mmp3). The last part confused me. So is this one of those circumstances? Who remembers adding music to their iPod nanos back on the day? Cause I do and it was the easiest f***ing thing in the world. The classic- click and drag. Does this work the same way? Or do you go into the computers files manually and copy and paste? I need a computer for this to work. I'll check out the library tomorrow maybe and see if I can figure it out. Mark my words guys, I will get to the bottom of this. 

hai yall!!!! this is my first bloggie on my acc !!!! my name is johnny, but my friendz call me siouxzie. i reaaaally like invader zim and johnny the homicidal maniac :P

SO today I found out that next year I'll be old enough to start testosterone and it's covered by my insurance!!!! I'll also be going to an alternative school for kids who don't fall in line(me lol) I'm finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and it excites me so much :)

i already posted in a group about this band, but i figured id make a blog post about them too. consider it an ongoing series, in fact, because i have a lot to say about them and its sort of my mission in life to help them achieve the worldwide acclaim they deserve.the brave little abacus is a band from new hampshire. they formed, i believe, in 2008; they broke up in 2012. in that time they released one split, two eps, and two lps. their discography is exceedingly perfect. theyre ostensibly an emo band, with some lovely emotional lyrics and occasionally some fun, pop-punk sort of sounds, but they also use video game samples, sitcom and anime dialogue lines, keyboards, synths, mathy rhythms, and a vocalist (adam demirjian -- hes a super nice guy, ive talked to him, and an amazing lyricist) who sounds like if spongebob had a heavy lisp.possibly the most interesting thing about this band, to me, is the fan culture. they have about 13k listeners on last.fm last time i checked. it was probably closer to 9k when i started listening about a year and a half ago, so their audience is slowly growing. this is a pretty low number, though, considering a popular band like radiohead has almost 5 million. but... i dare you to find a more dedicated fanbase. among people who listen to them regularly, ive found very few people who didnt encounter them and quickly become obsessed. i even did a survey about it! i found that 80-90% of brave little abacus fans discovered the band, felt intrigued enough to listen a few times, had the music click, and now feel that every song was written specifically for them. we have a discord and are known to re-consume every piece of abacus-related media on a weekly basis, make paintings based on their songs, discuss phrases of lyrics with astonishing depth -- wait, some of that might just be me. anyway.the lyrics are probably the most special aspect of the band for me. theyre amazing sonically. the music is the sonic description of an anxiety attack. but the lyrics are the worded description. when i discuss them, i always end up coming back to one thought: theres no way to explain what this means in words, except for the way adam already described it. how else can i explain "i know im not the only one who takes the ground that he steps upon and throws it to the sky in an attempt to answer all the 'i wonder whys'" or "every time i cry about your transience i replace you with the thought of the growing moon as i climb towards it, tell myself its not too late" other than the way theyve already been explained? i get freaked out, sometimes, at the fact that these lines seem to have been plucked directly from my subconscious -- these lyrics have sometimes predicted my life. "the way youre smiling like theres something on your mind, the fact this scene is out of a film"... thats taken straight out of my life. its amazing. its an amazing feeling to have your thoughts and feelings set right in front of you without you having to do the work to dig for them.the first time i heard them i was in germany. i was going to a concentration camp. i fell in love with someone who never really gave a sh*t about me. and i didnt know why, but the band spoke to me in a way nothing else had, and i listened to almost nothing else for a month. ive heard that album over a hundred times now. ive heard their other lp over a hundred times, too. i should probably try to stop being crazy.so, yeah. i would recommend the brave little abacus to anyone who cares about anything. give "just got back from the discomfort--were alright" a try. listen to it somewhere special, maybe when youre taking a long drive at dusk. i promise youll hear something there, even if it doesnt click right away. listen a couple more times. then find that youve found such a deep bond with this record its like an actual human friendship. its more reliable and more fulfilling, anyway.

happy birthday brand new eyes!! one of my favorite paramore albums ♥ my favorite songs in this album are turn it off, looking up, playing god, decode, brick by boring brick, careful, and ignorance :)

JEFFREE STAR WILL KILL YOU!!! >:D  

 It's almost october the 1st and I'm soooo excited !I can't wait !My birthday is october the 22nd by the way =DOctober is truly my fav month ! Not only because of my birthday but also bc its the spooky month and all the trees are changing colors ! I love pumpkins and mushrooms ! Also the wether is just A M A Z I N G at this period of the yearrrr .And you ? What's your favorite month ?

it's called The Sound and can be heard on Sundays (I am on call so not every week YET) from 12pm-1pm EST.....you can listen to the livestream on this link - https://tunein.com/radio/WMRD-1150-s21216/

today is my sisters 14th birthday! last night we went to texas roadhouse and i mightve worn my binder a bit too long. god i was so uncomftorable. what a stupid move! but anyways, happy birthday lavender!

hey guyz! i had a surprisingly good day today all things considering, i had to take a test! i always hate tests because its extra bright in the testing rooms but i am not allowd to leave till the 90 minutes are up. also i have no idea what im doinng or even what day it is! im pretty sure theres something wrong with my brain! but honestly, arent we all a bit crooked in the head? just broken souls on a broken, dying planet!  just need to push through, cuz we R strong!

I'm definitely not accustomed to this type of social media. Don't like how you can't restrict info to just a friends list or whatever. But I like having my own profile.