|
I believe I have a true shopping addiction. The rollercoaster ride of emotions when purchasing online fills me with excitement, anxiety, happiness, and fulfilledness as I click to place my order. Browsing aimlessly through, honestly, fast fashion apps like UO, I will not rest until I have found a piece of clothing or a pair of shoes that I like. See, I have a lot of shoes. I have two closets with three racks of clothes as well as 2 and a half dressers. These furnitures are nearly overflown with clothing. I am more acclimated to colder climates, therefore obsessing over greatly oversized crewnecks, soft hoodies, sweatpants, and in general large and comfortable items. Some call it body dysmorphia to hide your true size under over sized clothing. I have always struggled with body image and maintaining a certain unhealthy weight, yet don't quite see that as a factor in my addiction as of yet. I have volumptuous boobez and am not too big on showing cleavage, honestly. It sometimes makes me uncomfortable. Either way, I rarely dress out in nice clothing. I will order a lacey, sexy black top or something fit for a 4 star dinner date. Do I own about 5 pairs of skinny jeans, yes, but do I ever wear them? No.I have this weird thing to myself that I wear a piece of clothing just one time, and then leave it to die in my closet forever. It is rare that I wear some piece of clothing more than 10 times that I can count, as I am constantly buying, buying, donating minimal, and buying some more. I don't know why, as when I sit myself down to look through my inventory of clothing, I appropriately realize that I rather do not need a new tank top or pair of shorts. My short drawer is packed, where I have to shove them down and slowly push the drawer in to get out of my sight. I wear about the same thing almost every other day. Working part time during the day interrupts my desire to shower, do my makeup, and find a cute outfit if I must change into my smelly and draft work uniform.Sometimes I don't even know how to spend my spare time otherwise, as it is so consuming to me. I will navigate between websites, back and forth, looking for something I do dearly like.Afterpay is my homie, my bestfriend, my biggest debt. I pay back on time, yet will rack up future owings to like $300. There is something about the high, the rise, and the anticipation to know your order has been received, money withdrawn from the account, and order # being posted upon confirmation. Within the next few days, an email arrives to notify me of my package's status: En Route. To check the ETA and see that it will be here on *Monday*, I patiently wait for it to arrive. But yet, when the package is in my hand, I feel nothing. I open it, take out the items, and look around my room for potential storage for it.Now, don't get my wrong. I am not a hoarder with my clothes. The worst it has gotten is stacks of clothing in the dark and barren corner of my closet where only miniscule spiders and weird cotton-eating bugs hang out. Some clothes have too much sentimental value, and others could simply have potential for an outfit one day. That's right, one day. I would not refer to myself as one who is obsessed with brands and designer, but I do have a few favorites. My recent obsessions include Boys Lie and Badwood. These two brands have great quality products, sometimes unisex clothing, and overall have good reputations. However, I recently bought a Badwood hoodie for $90. I have probably worn it like three times max. I have purchased two hoodies and a pair of sweats from Boys Lie, a combined amount of $250 or so. Why the large amounts of money, when you can buy Hanes sweatpants on Amazon for less than $10?The world may never know. Although I am not a bandwagoner, I do like to have those items in my posession. And what does that bring me? Nothing. Maybe occasional sweatwear sometimes but they are really not important to me.Material items will never be important to me. After I buy it, and it has been used, it is on to the next thing. The bigger thing, with better designs and better quality. Perhaps I can wait through a whole collection just to snatch one item, but that is not me. I am an impulsive shopper. Afterpay is my golden ticket to buying whatever the f*** I want. And you wanna know the sad part? I blow thousands on clothes. Not to mention the thousands I have blown on tattoos already, but my shopping habit is a nightmare. I fear I will never see reasonably and be stuck in this cyclical lifestyle.
|
bouncy
accomplished
high
romantic
ecstatic
weird
angsty
sweaty
adventurous
awake
aroused
crappy
chill