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So, the music is coming along, nothing is complete, and I'm writing this is a different way than I usually do. I usually write the whole song at once, all the instruments, and the vocals, etc. This project is coming together much differently. It's coming together in pieces, and I'm liking that, honestly.I've had some help with my mindset and thoughts I've had(Thanks Lex and Lady V and my D&D Group) in regards to this. What's been bugging me as of late is this: The last time I did this, I walked away from rap for a long time, and played shows on my acoustic stuff, and such for a long time. I got picked up by Wicked Wolf on the merits of my rap work. Now, the owner has assured me that should I walk away from rap, he'll keep me on as a singer/songwriter doing acoustic music. Now, that said, I've got like..15 rappers working on tracks that they'll want me on, and some of them are international, hell, I'm supposed to do a full album with a rapper from Russia. The kicker is this feels right, you know? This is where I got my start with solo work when I was with Devil's 5 and was actually encouraged to do it by other bands I've been in. Can't keep a rock band together, but I can do this. lol. anyhow, So I got a few pieces written, and I really like them, add to that Return of the Loving Dead that I wrote with The Plague Doctors, and possibly Zombie Stomp by Devil's 5, I may have something to record on a video and post up here. 

It feels better now without control, oh girl, you look better blurry angel Why do we need to be sanitary when the world's so filthy anyway?        

So is that what you call a getaway?Tell me what you got away withCause I’ve seen more spine in jellyfishI've seen more guts in eleven-year-old kids.   

I think I used to have a purpose,But then again, it might have been a dream...    

I speak in tongues to feed my ego but it does nothing to satisfy the hunger in my hands, head, and heart. 

Winterdale calls Sean kanouse is my most influenced guitarist. Cannibal holocaust doom factor metal core start off band. His custom biased mesa rectifer went down while blasting tank shell. Started calling guitar tech with phone on stage. During show he brought me at chain reaction Their activity name was winterdale. Because of that they put calls online He used to be my classmate back in LA 2004/5 This Someone playing winterdale with hope in normal.singer was worker in security company https://youtu.be/T4plkE5Jk8M About my DIY music With racksystem breakdown military spec nothing interested to mainstream franchise music You can check on my profile and youtube onit. xX tactical core Xx. Sometimes I message sean kanouse on facebook do theatrical metal, I offered him film the brood. And shivers. Sean kanouse used to wear skinny flare jeans bootcut and hoodies with glasses blonde assymetric hair. He replies me will check them out.

I mentioned before that I'd made a deal with my older sister involving a book she's working on and an album I am. I was talking to my D&D Group and some fans recently, and they all said that i should go full acoustic with it, and to be honest, I like the idea. Hell, I even recorded a riff I 'd written acoustically to hear what it would sound like, and after I recorded the bassline, I loved the sound. This might be the direction I take this.Why did they recommend that though?Well, because before the rap, I did solo acoustic music on the side, outside of my bands. I was even doing regular shows. I'm comfortable with it being me and Carol Anne up on stage. So why nort keep it acoustic right? So I pose this question: If you were an artist, and you agreed to a deal to do an album, and you were more comfortable doing it a certain way, would you do it the way you want to, and be more comfortable, or just do it electric and get it done?

Meanwhile I try to act so nonchalant... Mr. Beckett had it right when he said "Love me, or leave me, or rip me apart." I'm wa(it)ding in the water. Tie the anchor around my ankle or throw me the lifesaver. Anything for you to glance over the hull. Wouldn't it be nice? We can hide in the daylight. The moonlight exposes us for what we are. The sun sees me disinterested. The moon sees me desperate. Cue the guitars and the trumpets. You're like spring. A fool might wonder if you're ever really there, but a voyeur always knows. Ivy grows in your eyes. You leave flowers sprouting in your trail. Sprightly as a twitching rabbit's nose, begging to act, but afraid of attention. I always notice. See you tonight with an empty bed and a crowded head.  abby 

"i'll be back whenever"a note left on the bench.a feeling you'll be back never.an emptiness that can't be tamed.the grey is eating me alive,I can't see the colours,I can feel myself dive.and under the waves,I'll never survive.

I had a horrible nightmare recentlyMany parts of it are vague and only remembered in bits and pieces, but the main part I remember, I dreamed that I was lying in bed awake, although the room I was in was completely different than my room in real life and A huge serpent with the head of an angry looking woman slithered up on to the bed and reared up above me. She stared at me with furious looking eyes and spoke to me without moving her mouth, I don't remember what she said though.Then she simply slithered off and I awoke in fright.

I put up a musician page on here, and added it to my friends list. I swear doing coding for the layout(I put on this page, too) is like riding a bike. I need to fix a few things, but other than that, it was fairly simplistic. So I haven't been on here in a few days. My internet was off, and now that it's back, I can get back on here. I may also post my VapingDuckie stuff on here, specifically this page. 

I have felt lonely lately. I don't know why, I'm a loner by nature, and have no problem with that. But there is a difference between being alone and being lonely. Normally I have my hobbies and distractions and they are enough to ward of loneliness, but this week, for whatever reason, this has not worked for me.I do know one thing though, the solution is not to be around other people. Other people never alleviate loneliness for me, if anything they just make me feel more lonely. I remember a quote I once heard "Ending up all alone is not the worst thing, the worst thing is ending up with people that make you feel all alone". The more I spend time with others the more I realize I have very little in common with them. These days people all seem to talk about reality TV, celebrities, pop music, 'healthy living', the gym, their kids, their upcoming wedding, the golf game they played on the weekend, or troubles with their spouse. It's all so boring to me. I acknowledge, the stuff I wanna talk about is probably boring to them, I'm not trying to claim I am better or more interesting than they are, far from it. Just that I seem to be incompatible. 

i just want you to love me. is that too much to ask for?