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poetry about my first love.
Current mood:
 blank
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the feeling of a thousand words the feeling of a thousand words. i will never be able to come close to put this feeling into words. the pain, the love, the happiness, the high, the downfall, and the ending. yet, i wouldn’t change one bit of it. it’s all i can think about. maybe one day i’ll be able to tell you. i’ll get over my fears and tell you how in love with you i am and always will be, the high. the most alive i’ve ever felt. but i guess that’s what love does to man, right? we were made to feel love. and sh*t did i love you. everything i did was about you. every breathing moment. every f***ing tear was all about you. my life revolved, actually, revolves around you. i’m so hopelessly addicted to everything you do. the way you giggle. the way you eat so slow that it annoys me. the way you’re so fearless. the way that you always have way too much energy. the face you make when you mock your parents when they are just looking out for you. wow. i’m in so love with you. and i’m so lost without you. i’ve fallen so much deeper into love without you in my life. but that’s what they say right? that distance makes the heart grow fonder. has yours grown for me? do you dream about me as i do about you? do you have to block every account of mine on social media in hopes that your obsession dies as i do? though every step i take forward i take two steps back. everything leads back to you my love. my heart. my girl. my world. my everything. life seems much fuller with you in it and much duller when i’m without you. but you burn me. every single time i’m near you, i’m burned. yet every time i’m without you i miss the heat of your touch. so is this all we’ll ever be? strangers? aliens? foreigners? outsiders? it just seems like we were meant to be more, doesn't it? you keep creeping into mind. it must be a sign, right? but maybe it’s not. i mean i never even cross yours...right? or do you stay up late at night wishing, hoping, wanting me to be back into your life? you know i heard a song the other day and there was a lyric that said “you should probably take your heels off because you’ve been running through my mind” and it made me think of you. you never could walk in heels. remember when your mom made you wear those hideous heels to formal? that was such a good day. you made sure i was okay when my dress ripped and you made me laugh so hard that night. you even gave me your extra chicken sandwich. f*** i love you. why did we have to f*** everything up? i could’ve made you so happy. i still can if you would take me back. i would buy you flowers and take you on dates. anything you wanted you could have. i would treat you like my queen. my love. my world. my girl. will you come back into my life or will you stay an intruder of my thoughts? i hope you come back to me. maybe then i’ll stop writing these stupid things about you. actually, probably not. as always, i love you cam. stay safe and come back to me soon.
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poem, poetry, love, broken heart, gay, lesbian, pride, writing, art
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high
nostalgic
angry
scared
electric
drained
chill
disgusted
adored
blah
blissful
bummed
sneezy