FriendProject.net

July 2, 2019   Not that anyone closely follows my blog, but I thought about adding some new things. I might add pictures of my drawings and paintings.   Also, as long as you can differentiate between my poems and real song lyrics, I might put lyrics from my favorite songs on here. 

The times I'm holding you go by so fast, and the times I don't see you last an eternity You got me all up in a tangled mess,Playing with my innocence.But I shouldn't care, no I shouldn't care.About that anymore.Like falling apart like the times we didn't know where to start,I shouldn't care, but I do.

You are the center of my world,,Smiling that contagious smile,You give me your love.And I promise, it's safe with me.With everything falling to the floor,Shattered memories,All around my bed.And on my tongue.I know I'm not alone.There's a time,When boys and girls find,Everything led to this time.You're taking all my loneliness,And changing my mind.The butterflies in my stomach,Flutter to the song that's your voice,Your song, the one I can't live without.

When the spring becomes summer,Nothing feels better,Than being so young and eager.God gave me a heart that was made to love.So won't you love me like I love you,when spring becomes summer?And your laugh makes me wonder,Where the time has gone.

Please tell me why,I am here to die.I'll never forget.Jagged edges fade,Crossing out the lines.And tonight I'll see,Memories become so much more to me.And maybe I'll blame myself,For letting it get like this.I'm tired of my bed being a casket,And each night a funeral. While I fade away.I can't relive,The nights I cried,Now everyone has changed,But I am still the same.Take this time, here to breathe,Turn off the lights.Cover up and rest,Let this fade into gray.So we can take in yesterday.One more time,One last time,Let this fade to gray.And maybe I'll blame myself,For letting it get like this.I'm tired of my bed being a casket,And each night a funeral. I am not awake.I can't relive,The nights I cried,Now everyone has changed,But I am still the same.

I miss the black eyes, coontails, the music that no one really got offended by and we didn’t give a f*** about what other people had to say about how crazy we dressed. Trying to gain the confidence to become scene again. I haven’t seen a single scene girl or guy since I was 14. 

1. A song you like with a colour in the title: green - cavetown2. A song you like with a number in the title: a little less 16 candles, a little more "touch me" - fall out boy3. A song you like that reminds you of summertime: the kids from yesterday - my chemical romance4. A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about: oh ana - mother mother5. A song that needs to be played LOUD: vampire money - my chemical romance6. A song that makes you want to dance: na na na - my chemical romance7. A song to drive to: 1983 - weathers8. A song about drugs or alcohol: prescription - mindless self indulgence9. A song that makes you happy: getting down the germs - gerard way10. A song that makes you sad: brother - gerard way11. A song that you never get tired of: thrash unreal - against me!12. A song from your preteen years: stressed out - twenty one pilots13. One of your favourite 80's songs: a kind of magic - queen14. A song that you would love played at your wedding: bulletproof heart - my chemical romance15. A song that is a cover by another artist: girls on film - mindless self indulgence (duran duran cover)16. One of your favourite classical songs: idk17. A song you would sing a duet with at karaoke: baby i'm an anarchist - against me!18. A song from the year you were born: our lawyer made us change the name of this song so we wouldn't get sued - fall out boy19. A song that makes you think about life: *shrug*20. A song that has many meanings to you: do it all the time - idkhow21. A favourite song with a person's name in the title: you're no fun anymore, mark trezona22. A song that moves you forward: planetary (go) - my chemical romance23. A song that you think everyone should listen to: early sunsets over monroeville - my chemical romance24. A song by a band you wish were still together: the ghost of you - my chemical romance25. A song by an artist no longer living: smells like teen spirit - nirvana (most of the band is still living but i dont care)26. A song that makes you want to fall in love: hold me tight or don't - fall out boy27. A song that breaks your heart: Lie to the Truth // The Young Veins28. A song by an artist with a voice you love: manic depression - laura jane grace and the devouring mothers29. A song that you remember from your childhood: come as you are - nirvana30. A song that reminds you of yourself: girls - girl in red

i am going to possess his body one day

i just got all lazy n sh*t tho

my first post I guess, i'm still getting used to dis site but overall it is very fun!!!!

when I was 6, I went fishing and there were two boys. they were around my age and they were really sweet! they even bought me a powerpuff girl ice cream. but then we had to go and I never saw them again. I wonder how they're doing. I hope they're doing good. I think about them. even though they were only in my life for less than an hour. its cool to see how much someone can impact your life. no matter how long they've been in it. I wonder if I've ever crossed their paths without even knowing it. I wonder if ill ever cross paths again with them. I know it sounds stupid since it was just a small little interaction when I was a little girl, but I don't know. I just still think about things like that. how they are, what they're doing now, what they want to do with their lives. I wish somehow I could've kept in contact with them. again I knooooow its dumbbbb but I don't know. I still think about these. things sometimes!^////^

im hungry. i want ice cream and cotton candy!!

i don’t know what to do here! i just got this account and i’m very confused >.<

so i named the kittens their names are: queen, party, ghoul, sebastion, and scar. uh. its 7 in the morning and i have not slept for sh*t and uh. i have discovered ghoul, the runt of the litter, has died and i did nothing to stop that! hooray. he was my favorite too. time to turn up the royalty free ukulele music ig.

December was the cruelest month. November never could've predicted the hellhole I was thrown into during the preceding month. The girl I loved for almost two years had found a new boy. She was never really mine; I know that much. I thought she would never leave me; I never thought my own friend would take her away from me. Countless nights were spent talking to her via Snapchat and Instagram; I never thought those days would end so soon. However, I'm constantly reminded of the end of that era when I see her walking down the halls in the arms of the very guy that split us up. But for some reason, I cannot blame him. I have tried time and time again to blame him for our falling out. I've tried to place all the blame on him to no avail! He has no fault in this mess. It is his fault he fell in love with her. But I refuse to believe he forced her to leave me, much less to purposefully break up a friendship he KNEW meant so much to both sides. I place the blame fully on her: the girl who wasted almost two years of my life, the girl who I fully depended on. My life had revolved around her; I had no time to develop any other relationships when I was with her. I had fallen too deep into the rabbit hole that is a friendship with [redacted]. I loved her so much that I still struggle to find the proper words to describe the adoration I held towards her. [redacted] had been the light of my life, my confidant, best friend, and so much more. No remnants of our friendship are left aside from the text messages I refuse to delete because I don't want to appear as immature and I still need to communicate with her about everything Migrations related. I have deleted all of our conversations apart from the aforementioned. Every and any trace of her from my Snapchat memories are gone, but it was in no way the easiest thing to do. I've done 80 curl-ups and over 60 laps in the oh-so-dreaded PACER test that increased my heartbeat tenfold by hearing a split second of the audio. It's February now, almost three months since my last real conversation with her. I never realized how toxic I had become to myself when I was with her. No disrespect to her, but I blindly followed everything she said. Leah? [redacted] hated her until something changed. I never had anything towards Leah, but I knew she wasn't perfect. Most of us aren't perfect, so who can really speak for that? While I was aware I was blindly following what she said (thanks, Nick), I rejected any form of slander towards Maritza. How could I? Maritza had been my friend longer than I knew of [redacted]’s existence. See, Maritza had been the one that introduced me to [redacted] and allowed a relationship to between [redacted] and me to bloom. I will always be in debt to Maritza for giving me the wonderful experience of knowing the enigma [redacted] was. [redacted] had so much to say about everyone around her and I knew no better than to listen and agree. Despite her telling me I didn't have to agree with everything she said whenever we had mild disagreements or I wasn't versed well enough on a topic, I continued. I don't want to continue to throw her under the bus, so I'll move on. From a creative mind to an eccentric writer, you exemplified everything I want to be. I idolized you for all the wrong reasons, despite me saying I didn't. Looking back at our relationship, I should've listened to Nick. I know she doesn't like him, but he certainly had much merit to his words. Perhaps I could've avoided the pain of losing you if I had listened to Nick and distanced myself. I'm grateful our relationship is over. I don't know how I could've realized the toxicity of my actions if I hadn't taken a step back. I deserve this break from you. I'm sorry you feel as if though you have no friends after our split. You only have yourself to blame for that one, darling. Losing my friendship was no one's fault but yours. [redacted], I'm sorry for any pain I've caused you during that last phone call we had months ago. But there is no way in hell that I will regret that action. I will never forget the day I knew it was over between us. It was during lunch when we were in Strong's room. [redacted] had you wrapped around his stupid, little finger and I could do nothing but watch. I was sick on watching! I did the only thing I could think of: leave. There was so much pent up resentment towards you in that instance that the only thing I could do was cry. It was the most embarrassing thing I had ever been through. And to think you were my best friend who could NEVER cause any pain to me. You said you cared about me. You told me [redacted] meant NOTHING to you. You said you would break things off with him for the last time! These were all lies, of course. How could you give up a guy that gave you attention no one else could? In a way, I understand. But you're a senior, you're leaving in a few months? How long do you think this thing with [redacted] will last? I've heard the things he's said to you and you are not the only one to have heard those words from him. He's a hurt boy who's struggled with life in more ways that either of us has. I don't blame him for falling for the one person I loved more than anything in the world. I just wish you had learned how to use your time. If you knew how to handle more than one relationship at a time I would still be by your side. I wouldn't be stuck writing this damn essay on my laptop if you had simply listened to me and made time for the one person that loved you beyond anything in the world. I hope this is something to think about.