FriendProject.net

hello friend project, i have returned to throw out mental feelings.today i wanna talk about existance.do we exist? how do we 100% know?i've had constant moments where ive sat at my screen, looking through previous precious messages of mines, wondering who i am, what was i like, what am i like now. its so weird seeing everything ive done in the past right infront of my face, and knowing things have changed.hell, its gotten to the point where i feel as if the thoughts i think of currently don't even seem thought about.who knows if we exist, who knows if i exist, who knows the current, past, or future...... im just happy to be here now :)

yeah i have no clue

okay mcr's danger days album is f***iing amazing, like the music is really fun and also the colours and zazz are just really really cool. also the album is basically ant-capitalist pop art. its colourful and for the most part pretty up beat but if you look into the lyrics theyre mostly about how sh*tty capitalism is and how it hurts people and sh*t. overall great album

I went to the store today and got myself new headphones, they're by the Kygo brand like the old ones, they're a bit smaller and lighter and in more of a greyish white color but they still feel comfortable on my head and who knows, they might outlast the old headphones with the right care and treatment. I'm happy the headphones situation got solved because I simply can't live without headphones! :)

PENIS

there's this really cute bookstore in my town that i really want to work at.but I don't know if they're hiring. I'm going to have to look today ~~ L0n3ly_m0th_g1rl ♥

trying to convince myself that i am loved and not used.trying to convince myself that my friends aren't only around when they need me.trying to convince myself that when i need it, someone will help.trying to convince myself that i do not constantly make mistakes.trying to convince myself that there is a future to work towards.trying to convince myself that the next few months will make it worth my time.trying to convince myself that i can survive.

i don't let people see my house. i'm not ashamed of my upbringing.i don't mind driving myself home.being driven doesn't stress me out.i don't avoid the mirror in my room.studying my own reflection is not terrifying.i don't know who i am.i've always been completely secure in my identity.i don't trust anyone not to hurt me.i have a healthy concept of relationships.i don't remember how to stop.continuing on has always been easy.

i've been feeling the nausea before disaster.something is wrong, and i don't know what. did i lose the part of myself that deserves to be loved?when was my heart not enough?maybe i'm reading into it too much.(yet, i know i deserve better than whatever this is.)

I feel like there was alot more people/people were often more active on here last year or two compared to now? This website is bloody quiet now lmaoowell I'm not active much either so kskfkfk,,-

I don't think I want to upload new photos or change my account aesthetic on here again. Just post statuses. For this specific reason, I just like to keep this account as is, representing the old me. Looking back on this page and laughing at my old miserable self. I don't want to mix in the old me with the new me. This is just old-me friendly. This account/profile & website is my only memorial of who I used to be. The gravestone of a very weak and naive child, but the willow tree next to the gravestone is sprouting, waiting to fully blossom soon, the roots and grassCovering most of the grave.This willow tree will blossom fully and cover the gravestone whole. My spirit dwells in a specific realm. This virtual online realm and a mental realm. The realms where the ghost of who I am dwells in since that lost girl has nowhere to go..A haven of her selfish world.And she will f***ing stay there and never come back to me.Stay lost you little cunt. She will never take over my sanity. My spirit wanders through this aesthetically cute virtual hollow sancturary..

Looks like the time has come to probably get new headphones. The earpads on my current Kygo headphones and their surrounding materials are barely hanging together, the leather has almost completely worn off on the pads and the fabric inside the right headphone keeps falling out, making me have to put it back in where it's all awkwardly uneven and bumpy and it makes it slightly uncomfortable when I wear the headphones.First world problems much? lmao. It is rather annoying though, ngl. 

i'm SO freaked out by how fast time is passing....it seems like everything is gone so fast recentlylike it was 2013 n then i blinked and it was 2018 and one more blink and i was here. it's genuinely so odd bc i dont remember it passing so fast but it's just gone. ive got a decade of memories but it feels like minutes. nothing feels the way it used to. i miss the way it used to be because everything seems so dull and even social media is different than it used to be when i got on 5 years ago. everything has a different vibe to it and i'm not sure if i like it anymore