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im sh*t

I AM SO SO HAPPY! SUCH A WONDERFUL TIME TO BE ALIVE!! I feel like the luckiest person on earth right now, haha

Ello and good morning! I just started another manga and its even cuter than the last one ♥ its called Hidoku Shinaide i will post more about it when i read more of it :D

my guys (and gals and non-binary pals), i am so freaking tired. oh my gosh i am tired. like physically holding my eyelids open with my fingers. bleh. its only 9 am. in my second class, french. learning about rosa parks. fun, right? apparently her parents divorced when she was two. thats totally information i need to grow up to be a successful adult. : ' ) 

(NOT IN ANY SPECIFIC ORDER) 1. nightmare on elm street 1,3,4 ESPEICALLY 4 idk y i kno its not the best 1 i just have a special connection with that movie 2. inland empire 3. bound (soooo sexy gay) 4. may 5. what did jack do? (talking monkey) 6. the love witch 7. scott pilgrim vs the world (one of my favs since childd) 8. jennifers body 9. bitch slap (so dumb but hott asf) 10. D.E.B.S (les spy) 11. coraline 12. martyrs 13. bad biology (funniest movie ever) 14. sweeney todd the barber of fleet street (nother childhppd staple) 15. twilight (just for the blue tint and kristen stewart lollll) 16. teeth 17. tenacious d the pick of destiny 18. paprika 19. pans labyrinth 12. monster house 13. ratatouille 14. hard candy 15. corpse bride 16. palindromes 17. spongebob squarepants movie 18. shrek, shrek 2 19. eternal sunshine of the spotless mind 20. saw 21. dogville 22. thirteen 23. ju on 24. the ring 25. the happiness of the katakuris 26. black moon 27. spirited away 28. mulholland drive 29. amelie 30. donnie darko 31. ghost world 32. battle royale 33. emperors new groove 34. little otik 35. ginger snaps 36. dancing in the dark 37. but im a cheerleader 38. audition 39. south park movie 40. the virgin suicides 41. the prince of egypt 42. chasing amy (i kno someone in dis movie ) 43. happiness 44. the truman show 45. buffalo 66 46. perfect blue 47. lost highway 48. scream 49. the craft 50. breaking the waves 51. james and the giant peach 52. isle of the dogs 53. the birdcage 54. mrs. doubtfire 55. trainspotting 56. welcome to the dollhouse 57. serial mom 58. nightmare before christmas 59. hocus pocus 60. delicatessen 61. edward scissorhands 62. cry baby 63. meet the feebles 64. kikis delivery service 65. tetsuo the iron man 66. parents (LOL) 67. the burbs 68. alice stopmotion 69. who framed roger rabbit 70. opera 71. beetlejuice 72. labyrinth 73. after hours 74. gremlins 75. paris, texas 76. wacko 77. bloody birthday 78. mothers day 79. the shining 80. house 81. eraserhead 82. grey gardens 83. ponyo 84. the rocky horror picture show 85. female trouble 86. the exorcist 87. belladonna of sadness 88. fantastic planet 89. persona 90. repulsion 91. the birds 92. eyes without a face 93. repulsion 94. alice in wonderland 95. more but im too lazy lol getting tired now byye

honestly just wanna be this GIF, chillin on a webpageno thoughtsnothing to worry aboutjust bein a lil diesittin around bein cooladdin some spice to a gamblin sitei didnt realize it was part of a dividerstill like itkinda wanna be in therejust existinf*** bein reali wanna exist on a webpagecurse your browser or somethin

Need more music recomendations and also what is a good kdrama to get into?

still reading nana... very upsetting seeing ren struggling with drugs, totally forgot about that. although kinda weird that yazawa made it weed that that he'd addicted to mostly, but anyway. I wish I could write something like Nana; I think that'd be pretty cool. Anyways, I have two papers and a final for history to do.  but then I'm done with the semester! 

Today went well, I did my laundry and cleaned up my room. I even cosplayed for a bit. But I'm not too great now,, my partner and I got into a slight argument and I feel sh*tty. I'm kind of an emotionless person now, zombified maybe. I wasn't medicated when we first got together so I was always depressed and anxious, even suicidal. But now I am medicated and I'm none of those things. Except I don't show affection anymore. I don't really feel it. I know I love him I just can't feel emotions unless they're super dulled. That of course affects him because he isn't feeling the love and affection he needs or deserves. I wish I knew how to turn those feelings back on in my brain but I haven't found a way yet. He wants me to try talking to my doctor again and getting a lower dosage or a different medication, but I'm kind of reluctant because I don't like change and I've been on this same medication for around 5 years or more. I agree it does suck I can't feel good emotions strongly anymore, but that compared to me being unbearably anxious about something that happened before I even knew he existed is so much better to me. It may sound selfish but I'd much rather feel this way than the way I did before. I just need to find a way to force myself to show him love and affection. It's hard though. I do adore him. He's put up with me through so much and he continues to do so. I'm just kind of an ass. Or not, I don't know. I can't really percieve myself. I'm mentally ill and I don't think he understands to the full extent of how much and how bad it can be for me. I don't exactly talk about everything to everyone. I want to relapse self harming often but I don't mentoin it to anyone. Idk, I'll be fine tomorrow. Or maybe in an hour, who knows.

i am so tired of doing school work i stg i'm going to have a breakdown lmao

wishing i were in nana bruh.... i wanan live in a cute apartment. that is all..........

wanting iced coffee...

I just started a new manga callled Adam No Junjou and its really cute ♥

I thought it would've been easier. Getting away. Making a freshstart. But I'm always looking over my shoulder. Never moving around. Staying in the same spot for days on end. i need to buy a car, just go somewhere to think or something. i cant keep stuffing my face full of keyboarded words and smiley faces :-) i am disconnected from everything around me. i'm not sure where to go from here.