FriendProject.net

sometimes writing feels like the only thing i have. i know that's not true but it helps.. even if it feels like it doesn't. you haven't seen me since my october recap, man so much has happened. health issues, mental issues, financial issues, you name it. the words aren't flowing out as easily as they used to. that's what happens when you hold your feelings back for so long. i know someday i'll be okay, and i'll look back on these times and thank the universe i made it through. but it's so hard. and it hurts. a lot. more days and nights than i'd like to admit. i feel weak and pathetic. i'm just so tired guys. it scares me - what's in my head sometimes. the worst part is that i'm living for others now, and like i said i know this dread is going to go away one day because it's happened before and i've gotten out of it but it always ends up coming back stronger in a different way. i guess it never truly goes away, just gets easier to manage. tonight is bad guys it's so bad. and i don't care about not censoring sh*t anymore. i want it to go away. i need my friends i need my mom to care like she used to i need chai. they don't know how bad it really is and i feel like it'll be too late once they do. anyway, i hope tomorrow will be a better day. i can only try from here, right? peace.

ohhhhhhhhhhhh my god ok so ive been trying to learn the basics of dnd for the last 2 days because i want to do a campaign w some friends but hoooly sh*t there is so much ughhhh like its not even like im getting overwhelmed its just annoying. wtf is a spell slot i just want to create a hot fish!!! f*** off!!!! n e ways. obsessed w blingee cat gifs rn. like look at thiscool righti get so emotional when i see even slightly sad cat videos i start feelijng ill but then again alot of things make me feel ill lately LOL my body is f***ed up is SO many ways.

Yesterday my counselor bought me deodarant and a lil mini travel kit and white socks. I do feel like she went a tiny bit overboard than I expected because all I asked was that "If the school had deodarant", but then they hadn't so then she offered to bring me one. She is so nice, I feel like I don't deserve all this kindness because all my life were always negative. Now I feel bad that I ditched her today for our weekly check up meeting. I didn't feel like talking about my feelings today. WHY THE HELL WAS MY DAD AT THE LIBRARY TODAY! After basketball practice as over at 5:00pm I decided to go to the library to ckeck out more mystery/thriller books. I checked out 4 btw. And when I was registering, my dad was there waiting in line?! I don't understand why dad was there because he is definetly not the type to read. So why was he there? If I had to guess it was that he was probably there to use their computer for some sh*t. It was really weird, I was startled and a little scared when I saw him standing there pretending that I didn't exist and I was some random stranger walking by. He hates me. I thought I was doomed when I walked out the library but when I came home I didn't care that he saw me at the library. So what? I was checking out books in a library. He is still not home and I hope he doesn't come back until 11:50 like he did the other day he left. Im so happy looking at my grades in Aespen. I have 3 A's and rest of them are B's. I really can't fool around now because the end of the semester is in 2 weeks (January 27th). These are the grades that college admissions will be looking at. I also want to be able to be in this "Schular Scholar Program." I figured that would look good in my resumes for college, and if your accepted there is a 10 day camping trip they have. Which I would really love because I get to be away from them for 10 days.

I just found out that someone new that I'm talking to is also a lesbian. I've also may have a slight crush on them so I'm excited to see where it will go. Though I'm not going to get my homes high. Then be disappointed. 

i 4got i had werk yesterdai and now ai think eyem sick... ai have pain in mah body and a sore throat... stayen home 4 2dai but ai guess taht meens ai kan ~KuST0Miz3~ mah profyle moar XD

Ummm so,i clicked on the layout page for Friends project and i saw one particular layout that looks oddly similar to one i made on myspace a few months ago. Im not sure, but it looks like the person who uploaded this onto FP copied my code from Myspace and didn't even give me credit :(((  I tried sending them a Friend request since yesterday but they didnt accept it yet. The layout they uploaded has the same hello kitty cursor as my myspace layout and everything :( Im super disappointed.

Skywalker Series is Done Zuckuss and 4Lom in Darth Nihilius Darth Naga sadow marr dar Revan dark malek Revan then he becomes Makelk Darth bane his female apprientance kills him why Tayra takes on Nihilius...later why....Darth Malgus Darth Plagius mllenia gravid guile jedis or siths??? The Skywalker Series is OVER TIME TO START WITH MORE STAR WARS PAST NON Animated.   Skywalker Series is Done Zuckuss and 4Lom in Darth Nihilius Darth Naga sadow marr dar Revan dark malek Revan then he becomes Makelk Darth bane his female apprientance kills him why Tayra takes on Nihilius...later why....Darth Malgus Darth Plagius mllenia gravid guile jedis or siths???

I've started taking Zoloft and I'm only talking a small amount. I can tell though that it's making my mental health way better and that I can live a whole lot happier. I know that if get counseling that it could improve even more. Also that I can have the life I dream of. 

that's all i gotta say, just a little self love 

im confsued as to why sites like twitter and instagram are more popular than friendproject. like theres so much you can customise on here that you cant do anywhere else. genuinely confuses me.

I thought about how far I have come, and I do not remember who I used to be. I have a job that I love where I am the manager, I moved out of my parents house, and paid off my car. I never really thought I would even make it to be fifteen and here I am, it's crazy.Today I am super sad, I don't know what happened. It was a good day, and then it just hit me like a ton of bricks out of nowhere. I don't know what to do.I had a dream that I would regret my tattoo idea if I went along with it. I think my dream self was looking out for me, and while I will still get the tattoo, I won't get it as big as I originally wanted, nor will it be in the same spot. I still want the tattoo, but my body has space for cute and hopeful things, it does not all need to be scary.

playing resident evil... rebecca is soooo cute >_< im playing as chris and i had to switch to her to get serum after being bitten by yawn and shes SOOOO CUTEEEE i couldnt stop taking screenshots!!!!

IDK how to work this and trying to make my profile pretty 

Here I am at a Whole Foods Market bathroom because my dad wnted me to leave an hour early than I was supposed to. My plan was to wake up at 9am to watch tv on my laptop so I would'nt miss the time on my chrome later. Then I would get reay at 11:50 so I could go to the library on time. I could've stayed at home and gotten ready there but he woke up too early . After being here I feel like this bathroom might be the place I can fully get ready in the mornings, I hate not brushing my teeth because my dad took away my morning bathroom privilages . I hope to god I dont run into my dad while I head over to the library now.