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Well sh*t then. (Or: my private holy war)
Current mood:
 unhappy
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I love my mom and she’s trying so hard and I’m really grateful but …how long is it gonna take for her to be fully accepting of my queerness? It’s been nearly 2 years since I came out to her, which isn’t that long I know, but I don’t think it’s ever gonna happen. She draws her line in the sand and I draw mine. We both refuse to budge because to each of us that line is the boundary of our most basic principles. She doesn’t support me going to the school’s GSA. Some bs about not wanting me to “nurture” this part of me. Some bs about if I turn towards this I’ll turn away from religion. She sees it as two opposing sides. Sometimes I do too. Her, the mighty yet loving general of the religious forces, and them, the army of queer disbelievers. And I’m caught in the crossfire. A casualty of the war both inside and outside my head. Why can’t I have both? That’s the way I’ve been trying to see it. Trying to make peace between the two. Be queer and Muslim. Impossible, I know. Revolutionary, I know. I’ll find a way. I really want to. Need to. I’m going to go to the GSA meeting tomorrow, but before that I’m going to pray one of my 5 daily prayers. Is that so hard for her, for them, to wrap their heads around? Am I that much of a paradox? Does my existence have to mean war? Sure seems like it right now. -Jed
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ecstatic
chill
cookywacky
accomplished
blah
