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       I am drunk as hell right now. I am jamming to Phil Collins like a boss. I love him in all the Tarzan songs. The Tarzan songs were my favorite Disney movie music. I'm jamming to it right now. I love him OMG! I am a huge Phil Collins fan haha! I can thank my dad for that haha! I like a lot of music because of my dad. I grew up listening to Alice Cooper, Twisted Sister, Queen, Pink Floyd, and so on.        I am on live video right now too. Not on here obviously. I am on meet me live haha! People love watching me live. I am a pretty colorful person haha! I AM SNOOKI! As for Phil ColliI ns, hes f***ing awesome. My favorite music are from the Disney movies that has Phil Collins doing all of the music. The movies he sings the songs to are Tarzan and Brother Bear. He is an amazing artist. Has been sense he existed back in the day. My adoptive father loves him. I pretty much like any rock star that my adoptive dad likes. I love Queen and me and my family went to go see the new Queen movie and we all loved it. Even my brother Anthony said the movie was really good.        I really want to go see famous rock stars in concert with my dad. It is something on my bucket list. I am going to call him from my phone as soon as my boyfriend gets home with my phone. I have been having issues with it charging. As long as I am home I can call people but if not, I am screwed.        I gotta go I f***ed up lol. 

Heyzz! So I've decided that I am going to make a new YouTube channel soon. I'm gonna post what it is soon if yall would still be interested in it. :) 

tomorrow is my last day of classes. then i got a final wednesday and one on the 27th. hopefully i pass those classes, if not, i'm not sure what i'll do, but it wont be any good. planning on growing my hair out this summer then cutting it to the perfect scene kid circa 2013 swoop. on top of having an awful day today, i busted my toe open walking home from school. i've been having chest pains due to the change in weather. i just want things to get better. i cant make things better for myself right now because i dont know how. i feel like a freak. none of this feels real. everyone is against me. i just wanna see the day where im happy and healthy and i'm being my best self. i'm not sure if life will ever be that way. i'm not sure if i'll live to see the day, but then on the same note, i've done things 10 year old me wanted but thought was impossible. i'm still growing and i feel like i'm stuck being twelve forever, but thats a subject to tackle another day. for now, my sorrow is only punctuated by the quadratic formula and my lack of a social life. 

basically.. my brain f***in' hurts and i haven't ate today. why? i'm fat. duh.

June 16, 2019   Today is my 19th birthday. I certainly don't feel any older, at least not much. But I've definitely got back some of the joy that I lost, but the last year has changed me for the better.    I had a graduation party that was for both Kat and I last night. She didn't have much family here in Ohio. It also kind of doubled as a birthday party for me. We rented out a place for the night and I had a lot of fun. I really did.    Though life continues to throw a lot of stressful things my way, it's things like this that I finally have again. Reminders that things are going to be fine, I've made it through so much, and I don't have to be alone. Small things like this. Also, a perfect girlfriend who loves me, a caring family, and people who believe in me. I think God has more great things waiting for me.