09/17/2022 07:07 PM  September 17th 2022 Current mood:  bored Last night my lover spent the night at my house.  He is the first boy my parents let me sleep with in my bed.  We didn't do anything scandalous, we just cuddled and watched YouTube.  This morning, my father, brother, lover and I went to go visit a family friend, Carrie. Everyone in my family was very close with her husband but he passed away a couple years ago from breaking his neck in the shower.  Since his passing, we make sure to take time out of our schedules to visit her. The main reason for our visit today was because her computer broke.  My brother is very talented in building, fixing, and repairing computers.  I had some gifts that I wanted to give her as well.  I had some Hot Cash from Hot Topic to give her, and a fifty-movie set of vintage horror movies.   While we were there, we talked about how much weight she lost and her new puppy Nova.  My dad talked about work, and she told us how her neighbors were completely insufferable.   After we left, I went with my lover to his house.  We didn't stay long, only long enough to let the dogs out and put his kayak in his truck.  He dropped me back off at home and I had lunch before going out to get a few groceries.   I had chick-fil-a for dinner and have been watching a lot of YouTube.  All in all today wasn't very eventful.  I'm trying to think of things I can draw or paint for Carrie as she really likes my art but I haven't been very passionate about it for a while now.  Hopefully I'll find some inspiration soon. 0 Comments

09/16/2022 05:03 PM  September 16th 2022 Current mood:  pure I really enjoyed how today went.  Theo started asking me to do things instead of just yelling at me.  I believe that now I have stood up to him that he looks at me as an equal instead of below him.   This morning I fixed a door that wouldn't fully shut.  They're pretty easy to fix, the lock was just jammed.  Afterwards, I helped replace the cameras and run wire to a new office.  I ended the day with waxing an office floor and another broken door. All in all, today was an easy day.  When I got home, I cleaned up my room a bit and now I am updating my blogs.   My lover is staying over tonight so I most likely won't be updating much.  Though, I wanted to show what arrived in the mail!   A few days ago, I ordered a stuffed animal.  It's a conjoined lamb!  Lambs are my favorite animals and I have such a fascination with conjoined twins.  (It makes me really angry when someone calls them "Siamese twins.") Below is a picture of them! I still need names for both of them.  The card on top of them is from the artist I bought them from on Depop. If the image is hard to read the Depop seller is Frankenstitch! 0 Comments

09/15/2022 05:21 PM  Family Blood I hurt. I bleed crimson. My father's blood runs through me, So why is he more important than me? "Your mother's blood runs through you as well." 0 Comments

09/15/2022 04:22 PM  September 15th 2022 Current mood:  aggravated I was really mad today. It started with Theo wanting to finish putting in the microwaves, we only got four more done.  The only good thing about today was that I drove the lift down the ramp and through the parking lot without hurting myself or anyone else. The joy from that was greatly diminished from the security cameras.  A few days ago, we had a storm, and some lightning struck the building which threw out some of our cameras.  The plan was to replace all the cameras but the first one we went to had something wrong with the wiring.   Honestly this was no big deal; we just needed to find out which end of the wire needed to be redone and then redo it.  So, we figured out which end it was and that was when Theo decided to but his head into our project. Theo is not an electrician, he doesn't know wiring, so he doesn't do wiring.  When he asked what was wrong with it we told him that the end in the server room needed to be redone.  Instead of letting us do our job and leave on time he decided to see for himself if we were right. Because obviously he knows everything. After an hour of us standing there, and Theo cutting much more than he needed to, he told us that it was the other end of the wire that needed to be redone. I walked back to the shop after that because I was thoroughly pissed off.  After clocking out and getting ready to leave he walks into the shop and precedes to tell me, "You know it's important that we have those cameras up and running." I knew this!  He was talking to me as if I was sixteen!  I told him in the calmest manner I could muster, "I know that Theo.  The problem is that we could have had the camera done by three if you just listened to what we had to say.  Instead, you had to check it yourself and waste an entire hour with the camera still not finished." After that I left. 0 Comments

09/14/2022 09:20 PM  September 14th 2022 Current mood:  annoyed Today started pretty well.  I had hope that me and my coworkers weren't going to put microwaves into every room of the building; sadly, my hope wasn't enough.  Luckily today was the day that my trainer came back from vacation!  I do feel bad that his welcoming back was being called, "A walking, talking piece of foreskin."  It didn't help that in office "C" I was hit on by almost every male, the entire office is only males.  I'll repeat some of the things they said in the following: "I bet she taste like maple syrup." "I wanna give her an Australian french kiss, ya know? Cause it's down under." "I wish I was that gum she's chewing on." "I know her p**sy matches her head." I'm a dyed ginger. After a day of only putting in two microwaves instead of the fifty plus Theo wanted, I was prepared to work overtime to wax floors.  We were told by the building owner that she wanted it done by the end of this week; today is Wednesday.  It was a small room that we were told to do, and we weren't exactly thrilled about it, but we got along and with each other, so it wasn't as bad. Our plans for receiving a bigger paycheck went unfulfilled as we only got an hour into cleaning the floors when one of the office managers on that floor decided to tell us that we can't do it today since it would be dangerous for the workers in that room, which is complete bullsh*t.   I was thoroughly pissed; I suffered through the entire day knowing that I volunteered to work overtime because I needed the money only to be told, "We don't want you here."  After clocking out I called my lover and let him know that I was on my way to his house and that I was taking both of us out for dinner. Dinner went well and I hung out with him at his house afterwards.  After being interrupted by his father I left and decided to make a pitstop at Barnes & Nobles before heading home.  I bought a Bible, (I've been wanting to read one) a book about a vampire mortician, I forgot its name, and a few CD's.   That's all that happened today, I'm prepared for the worst tomorrow as Theo will be yelled at for not putting in the microwaves correctly which will make him yell at us.  Wish me luck. 0 Comments

09/13/2022 04:20 PM  September 13th 2022 Current mood:  disappointed Before I start talking about my day today I need to say what happened yesterday after I updated this blog.  After I updated my blog I went to my lover's house.  On the way there I got thinking about how I want a break, just a few days away from reality.  I remembered reading about how overdosing on melatonin won't kill you but put you in a coma.  I believed that the best way to slip into a temporal death would be in my lover's arms; so I stopped at a Dollar General near his house and bought a box of generic brand sleep aids.   When I got to his house I asked, "Would you still love me if I was in a coma?"  He answered yes but was worried as to why I asked.  I told him what I told you, that I want a few days break from reality.  He told me, "I've had days like this, you just have to push through it."  But it didn't really comfort me. I excused myself for a moment and went to his bathroom to take the pills.  I swallowed twelve times more than the recommended dose.  When I exited the bathroom he was there with arms open, not a clue as to what I just did in his bathroom. We went to grab something to eat, Moe's, and on the way there is when they started to kick in.  Everything moved so much slower and it was hard to keep my eyes open.  Nevertheless I forced myself to stay awake so that I could fall asleep in his arms.  When we got back to his house I asked if we could cuddle.  He never turns down a cuddle so we went to his bed and laid down.  He set an alarm for when I had to leave to go back home and fell asleep together. The alarm went off, and I woke up.  The pills didn't give me the rest I wanted so dearly.  All the pills did was make me sick.  As soon as I woke up I ran to his bathroom and started throwing up the pills and food from Moe's.   Then it was time for me to go home.  I had to drive through the pouring rain still sleepy and feeling sick.  I can't be too mad though, I did this to myself after all.  I just wished that those pills kept me asleep for a little while longer. Now for today; Today was a regular day. (Besides the fact that I was still very sleepy and nauseous when I woke up.) Theo made us try to put all the curtains back up but we didn't have enough as we threw away the ones from yesterday.  During the storm we had last night the building I work in was struck by lightning so a lot of our cameras were out.  I.T. was able to fix most of them remotely but three of them had to be manually restarted.  One of them was under a desk so I went under the desk and got covered in dust.  To add salt to the wound I couldn't even find the wire I needed to reset the camera! Now I'm home and preparing to go to my lover's for dinner.  That was all that happened between my last update and now. 0 Comments

09/12/2022 03:41 PM  September 12th 2022 Today could have gone so much better.  This morning was alright, only had to replace a pencil sharpener and finish putting together a desk.  The problem was later on when the owner of my work place decided we had to take down all the curtains.  It sucked as it is a big building with a lot of windows.  Of course as soon as we got them all down she wanted us to put them back up.  I also relapsed today; I've been purging everything I eat.  I can't let anyone in my personal or work life find out about this. 0 Comments

09/11/2022 09:48 PM  September 11th 2023 Today was okay.  I had to go to a birthday party that was at a park this morning, while it was pouring.  I was soaked and cold.  I didn’t even stay long enough for the little one to open his present because I had to be home to drive my brother and his friend to the mall.  Today was my lover’s and I’s four month anniversary! We celebrated by watching over the garden wall.  I’m not super excited for work tomorrow as I’m sure Theo is more than ready to send us running on twelve different missions. 0 Comments

09/10/2022 09:18 PM  September 10th 2022 Current mood:  disgusted Sorry for not writing yesterday; I spent the night at my lover's house as it was his birthday.  Yesterday went really well though!! We went to Red Lobster and then we went to Barnes & Nobles.  Today I went with my brother and his friend to the mall.  I found a cane that was actually a revolver for my dad; he really liked it but sadly he can't take it to work.  I also found a Christmas present for my lover's dad and a family friend! My lover's dad really likes the band Deftones so I bought him a band tee and for the family friend I found an old horror film collection!  Now I'm just tired.  I'm currently on the phone with my lover right now and we are planning to fall asleep together on call.  I can't wait to read my new book, Petals in the Wind, tomorrow during a birthday party.  I just found a beetle in my hair; I had my mom look for more but she didn't find any.  I'm going to go take a shower now. 0 Comments

09/08/2022 03:43 PM  September 8th 2022 Current mood:  annoyed Today just straight up sucked.  My supervisor,, Theo,, worked me and my coworkers to the point of exhaustian.  I couldn't tell if I was more annoyed or exhausted by the time I got home.  I really don't want to go to work tomorrow but I already missed too many days due to covid.  I hate my job just because of one man.  It seems I can't like anywhere I work due to someone I don't like.  My hatred just boils and boils whenever I hear or see them.  To the point that all I can see when they're around is red.  I wish I could find an at home job but I don't have a degree in anything.  I guess I'm just stuck with working through crimson sunglasses. 0 Comments

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