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sladkesny

Last Login:
May 14th, 2022




Gender: Other
Status: In a relationship
Age: 18
Country: United States

Signup Date:
September 07, 2021


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05/13/2022 11:32 PM 

V STRESSED PLZ SEND HELP T.T
Current mood:  nauseated

      
Friday, May 13, 2022 - slad bloggg


 
HAPPY FRIDAY THE 13TH!!!    in honor of 2day, i will watch a scary movie tonite!!!! >:3

really hoping that this day can give me extra luck.. today my appeal of decision for USC comes back. i was rejected from them (my literal dream school) and i sent a super thought out letter telling them why they should change their minds. that was a month ago. now, theyre telling me if they're letting me in or not today .  the last time i was this nervous was the day they gave initial decisions so if ur reading this PLS send positivity my way i rlyyy need it. this is a lifechanging day!!!

anyway , the rest of this week has been .. rly unproductive tbh. i'm gettin on the grind today tho - stress is a biggg motivator 4 me , so as per my beautiful bf's recommendation , i'm writing down like every thought in my dang head and then when i'm feelin less stressed i can build off of those things to make coherent lyrics! my goal for myself is 7-8 songs for my album and i thinkk/hope thats doable. i still dont rly know what direction i'm leaning in with my musical style, but i'm thinking something phoebe bridgers-esque ? so something more indie. idk yet we will see

in other news , due to my stress and because i've been moving around so much with the stupid musical rehearsals , my ed has been getting betterish. it's still only like one and a half meals a day and when i actually eat a meal i still feel sick, but ik thats part of recovery.

annnd honestly thats.. kinda it! the musical opening night is in less than a week too so thats another source of stress.. idk im just glad i'm not in classes for school anymore , lol. again please send love nd positivityyy  ;; it will b much appreciated. and to the like one person thats reading this , i luv u!!!

okay goobye :3 will post again soon!!! might edit this post with my appeal decision 2. but i'm rly not expecting to get in bc they only overturn like .. 1% of decisions. OH WELL byeeeee !!!

EDIT: ya they rejected my appeal LOL


 

05/11/2022 12:41 PM 

anotha life update!!!!!!!!

      
Tuesday, May 10, 2022 - slad bloggg


 
ok soooo ik i'm technically writing this past midnight so it's techhhhnically wednesday may 11 but IDC!! i'm talking abt may 10th in this post so :P

so basically i'm supposed to be writing music for this school thing but so far i have such bad artist's block that i can't get myself to do anything . :,(  i hold myself to such a high standard that anytime i try to do ANYTHING , i immediately scrap it. i'm trying rly hard 2 just lik e,,, do SOMETHING just so i can say i did , but it's just been so hard   i'm v mad @ myself .. ik i'll end up making something tho. hopefully. bc i need to..

on another note, i'm in my school's stinky musical and the opening night is next thurs. it's such a huge time commitment tho and i'm so over it i just wanna b able to enjoy my last few months before college without responsibilities since ik being far from family will b rly hard and put alot on my plate, esp since i have mental illness problems LOLLL,,,.

a few friends from my past have reached out 2 me recently (2 future me readin this: jay, jason, + josh, lol ik all j's), and tbh it always makes me so uncomfy idek why bc it's not like i dislike them or they've done anything bad to me (well not recently atleast LOL) but it just stresses me tf out bc talking to them kinda reminds me of bad times related to being on the internet at a young and vulnerable age woowoopp..,

ik i'm writing alot for this post, but i like putting in a lot of detail soooo

so i got this sticky strapless/backless bra for my graduation and prom dresses and also for the musical bc i'm cinderella and i have 2 wear a strapless bra. but i have .. large boobs . so most bra stuff isnt rly made 4 me loll .. most of that kind of stuff is made for like, b and c cups. so yea. idk it fit me weird the first few times i tried it and it made me feel suuuper bad abt myself. i got rly bad body dysmorphia for a bit nd almost had a panic attack and [TW] almost tried to make myself throw up the little bit of food i ate that day. i didn't tho, thankfully (?). but on the bright side, once i finally got it to fit right i tried it with my graduation and prom dresses and they made me feel SO pretty ! :3  my prom dress is so freakin beautiful, i can't wait for prom now!!

nyway, 2morrow i gotta try writing more muzik n then i have freakin rehearsal again, AND a stupid dinner for school. but i have hope that at least that dinner will b kinda fun. idk we'll see! okiii byeeeeee!!!

 

05/08/2022 06:33 PM 

I'M BACK BITCHEZZZ >:3
Current mood:  adventurous

          

Sunday, May 8, 2022 - slad bloggg



hi every1!! :p sooo it's been legit the entire school yr since i posted.. nd i officially done w high school classes + also officially 18 yrs old !  ngl it feels kiiinda crazy to know i'm done w that hellhole of a school -.- but it's finally ovah !! toward the end of the school yr , alot of issues started coming up w my mental health , nd i realized how poopy my friends are. i also got put on medication which kinda made me feelll weird abt myself for some reason.. i have a bunch of internalized problems lolll.

but on the bright side ,, i know now where i'm going to college !!!  nd the fact that i AM indeed GOING to college hahah.. i was worried i wouldnt be able to bc of money , but i got a good scholarship nd everything ^.^ soo i'm beginning to look forward to whats coming up in tha future :3

one problem i've been dealing w/ alot recently is [TRIGGER WARNING :( ] food stuff n body image. my eating disorder habits r kinda coming back , and i'm trying to combat them but .. intrusive thoughts r kinda winning rn.

anyway , back 2 the good. tmr for this thing my school calls 'senior experience' , i get to make an album!!! which means i get to start making music again  !!!  im soooo excited . lots of good things ahead, i just gotta stay on track.. nyway , ik no one 's gonna read this but much love to all!!! ♥ cya in the next post ^^


 

09/12/2021 09:40 PM 

sry 4 not postin !! x_x

           

Sunday, September 12, 2021 - slad bloggg



 
sooo i kno i havent posted in a few dayz... sry ;; BUT its just bc ive been super busy !!

friday ended up actually being kinda funn  , the ropes course wasnt so bad and since my friends were there, things were a lot more fun than they wouldve been if they werent there ig .. i think that any crappy thing can be made fun if u have theright ppl around tbh.. other than that , nothing else interesting rly happnd on friday , other than play auditions which i DOOO NOT care abt , lolz . buuuut,, after that whole day i was SOO tired.  i slept super well , and the next day , even tho i slept 4like 10 hrs, i still felt rly tired until like 3 pm ;p

nyway , yesterday i hung out w friends again!! we met up 4 dinner at a hotpot place in chinatown, nd it was SOOO gooooood!!!! i didnt even rly feel that fat or guilty afterwards for eating ^^ mmmm yummy udon noodlez..

then , aftr dinner, my friends (most of em, one went to go do smth with a diffrent friend :/) came over 2 my house + we watched some silly videos and played jackbox games ! it was pretty fun overall.. my cat chi was hanging out w us the whole time .. cute kitty . :3

thenn , today, i went shopping on my own o_O it was kinda weird bc i haven't been shopping alone in ages , but it was fun !! i think i might go again next weekend , but in a diffrnt place .. bc there wasnt that much good stuff . i didnt get much, only 2 shirts (1for sleeping, 1 to actually wear..) nd some beauty stuff. i went 2 a japanese convenience store  nd got some cinnamoroll handcream along w a headband w cat ears to hold my hair back when i wash it.. >w<  its super cute !! i also stole some stufff... NOT from the small convenience store , jst from sephora that place iz evilll anywayz.

ALSOOO i got a super cute lil homura figure 2 go nxt 2 my madoka figureeee!!! shes super tiny but i love herr...


i also didnt eat besides dinner , and i MAJORLY underestimated how tired that would make me .. i wastrying 2 help my stepmom do laundry nd i almost PASSD OUT !! IT WAS SOSCARYY...  i guess in the past i would atleast eat a tiny amount of somthin but it was so baddd T_T but im ok now .. nd i think im feeling bettr overall..

i have school again tomorrow and its gettin kinda lateee.. so ima go to sleep now! sry for such a long post!! i'll be sure not to skip postin for so long again unless somthin comez up..

GUDNITEEE!!

 

09/09/2021 09:10 PM 

FIRST DAY SR YR !! o_0

09       09

Thursday, September 9, 2021 - slad bloggg

divid


soooo today was my first day as a senior .. and honestly it wasn't really that bad ? idk. i had a terrible start 2 the day tho. my dad told m,e that i had to be there at 2 but then my friends txted in the group chat that they were already at school at 8 and i FREAKD OUTTT it was a v stressful morning . my dad got mad at me for getting stressed out .. he cant handle emotions LOL .. idk tho im used 2 it by now,.

nyway,. at the very least i like all of my classes so far ! my teachers r all good this term , and the teachers in general @ my school r rly understanding when it comes 2 deadlines (thank GOD) so i'm not super worried about school getting in tha way of college stufff /. HOWEVER i am also doing the play after school (bc at my school an "afternoon activity is required grr) and the play is going to be really bad and sucky .. especially bc it takes a long time to get home so i'm probably going to get home at 6:30 everyyy school day

regardless i have kinda high hopes. but tmrw we have a STINKY AWFUL TERRIBLE field trip to a ropes course . while the literal freshmennn get to go into the downtown area and do fun stuff . like  our freshman trip was to a YMCA in the outdoors in the middle of nowhere and we did BONDING exercises . and they not only get to do a better trip than what we did freshman yr but they also get a better trip than what we r doing THIS YR... ohh well . thats life ig lolz .-.

i hope that theres other stuff to do at this ropes course place other than climbing stuff bc i dont think i have the energy or desire 2 do that .  tbh my friends didnt rly want to either , so mayb we will just hang out and not do it or somthin... but ya ! wish me luck :> i hope i can make the best out of it bc after today i am feeling ridiculously sleepy. im prob gna go 2 bed very soon haah.

GUDNITE!!! !
 

09/08/2021 09:32 PM 

i went 2 tha mall 2dayy

09      0


Wednesday, September 8, 2021   -   slad bloggg kittypunchhh


rose dividr
 

today i went to the mall with my friendss and it was pretty fun ! i got an eevee plush from build a bear and my boyfriend and i named her berry. she looks a little wonky but i love her.. kitydance  my cat made friends with her when i got home, too ^__^

we walked around a  lottt of stores but i didn't find any clothes that i liked for my first day of school sadbun  but its ok.. i already have some coming in the mail that i should be able to wear next week , hopefully ..

alsoo we went 2 the cheesecake factory BUT WE DIDNT GET ANY CHEESECAKE !!  angykity    i was very secretly upset about that . i ate a little bit tho , so progress on my ED i guess ?? idk if i would personally call it "progress" but iknow that other ppl would . like my family nd friends. i only ate bc my friend made sure i did

AANNYway, school is 2MORROWWW !!!11 WHAAAA!! kityshockkityshockkityshock I'M OFFICIALLY A SENIOR r>>/?>?? id ont like that very much ;; (as previously stated) 

wish me luck u guys , im gona need it T_T  thankfully, i have good teachers and classes this trimester ithink :p


ok... ive got a lot to prepare for.  i will post an update 2tomorrow night!! later ! :3 mikudansen



 
kityluvv

09/07/2021 03:26 PM 

my cat made friends with a fly today
Current mood:  okay

my cat made friends with a tiny fruit fly today. it was buzzing around her food bowls, and she watched as it inspected the quality of her dry food. she didn't try to kill it. she usually does try to kill small bugs. but i think they were friends.

unfortunately, my dad killed him-- the fruit fly friend, that is. and chi (my cat) seems sad now.

chi is named after chi from the manga chi's sweet home, which i read when i was very young when i would go to the library after school because my mom would forget to pick me up. i have a mug that i got myself from the newbury comics near my apartment that has drawings of chi from the manga all over. i really like it. i'm drinking out of it now.

my parents are making me have a "hearty meal" as a late lunch, bc for the past few days i've only been eating granola bars for food aside from dinner, which i would always eat a small portion of. i think my anorexia is coming back.

i miss my boyfriend. i wonder what he's up to? he lives far away but i think he's visiting in november for a week. then i'm moving near him for college next year. if i get into college that is. ha.

introduction post soon. laterr

09/07/2021 03:40 AM 

school soon
Current mood:  nervous

sooo since it's 3:40 am EST, that means it's officially the seventh of september, aka, technically 2 days before i start school

i am most definitely not excited about this bc i am starting my senior year which means COLLEGEEEE SH*TTT :||||

i but enough pressure on myself without the added pressure of college stuff, so i can tell that this year is definitely not going to be very fun .. but maybe i will be surprised? who knows.

regardless, i am sort of dreading having to go back to school in person every day, especially since i am, as aforementioned, a senior, so i have to "set an example" for the underclassmen or whatevr. especially since i go to a private school on a full ride, so the school already gives me flack for that too ;;

i jst want 2 sleep nd dream about bunnies floating thru the sky all around me , as iam on a field full of soft green grass that feels like a pillow

but alas... school means less sleep which means less dreaming. i mean u can already tell from the fact that i'm writing this at almost 4 am that i do not have a good sleep schedule.. and school does not help , lolz

oh well, i should get some sleep. i hope i can use this blog as a sort of diary , bc i think that would be rly helpful for me. maybe i'll make a proper introduction post tomorrow? whoooo knows. anyways, goodnighttt ^__^ feel free 2 add me if u wana be friends!

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