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Last Login:
June 14th, 2021

Gender: Female
Status: Single
Age: 19
Country: United States

Signup Date:
June 09, 2021


06/10/2021 10:02 PM 

growing up
Current mood:  discontent

I try my best to avoid thinking about the past but today it was unavoidable. I had so much potential, why did it have to get crushed so early on. I could have done so much and now I feel stuck with the pieces of myself i have left over. I wish I had the luxury of knowing what I wanted. i really am trying my best to think in the present and take things one day at a time but soon enough the future will catch up to me and become my reality. i'd do anything to get the drive younger me had just one more time, i just want one more chance with it. instead i feel burnt out and numb, i can't tell if it's the meds or this is just me now. not that I would like either answer very much. i really wish every day didn't feel like I was trapped inside of a ticking time bomb. 

06/09/2021 04:01 AM 

Current mood:  tired

I've gotten close to this point a few times but never fully commited to pulling the trigger. as sad as this is starting to sound with the title and all, this isn't a suicide note or anything I swear. It's a different kind of dissapearing. I deleted all of my social media and decided to try and live without it for a while. Maybe one day I'll be strong enough to delete the accounts along with the apps but I'm not there yet. they only made my mental health worse and distracted me from the personal growth I visably and desperately need. I made this account as an outlet since I've become so accustomed to having some form of media outlet and access, it feels wrong to completely block out everything. this is more of a diary if anything, so don't mind me. even if nobody reads any of these it feels nice to put my thoughts out into existence anyway. 

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