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Cute Hello Kitty 9
Gab

Last Login:
December 7th, 2023



Gender: Female
Age: 22
Sign: Cancer
Signup Date:
April 26, 2021

Subscriptions:

05/08/2021 12:51 PM 

done with school
Current mood:  hot

ah! so i'm done with this semester! im transferring colleges in the fall, so we'll see what that's like. finished my last paper (some pretty long lit paper about some play i read in high school) and then got drunk to celebrate haha

it's getting to be that time of the year where my room is always hot lmfao. too much to bear sometimes

anyways, i just finished getting some of my room organized. I organized all my nail stuff/desk and got rid of a lot of things I wasn't using. i just need to get my old desk out of my room...

i also have so much f***ing clothes to wash...i might just take it all to the laundromat and say f*** it....we'll see...

i wanna get my room looking nice so i can do something with all the sh*t i buy and also have ppl over in my room. plus, my mom is always saying "you know gab, if you keep your room nice you could always keep a coffee machine with you" haha, so that's pretty tempting.

i don't dorm or anything like that, so i have at minimum two more years in this room (and that's being super conservative...as if i'll move out instantly after graduating...) so i'd like to make it somewhere i can enjoy being. 

mother's day soon! maybe i'll see if my mom wants to get a mani-pedi...

05/03/2021 09:30 PM 

tipsy

today was ok. didn't do much 

feeling pretty tipsy now. don't have work until like two weeks from now, i think. almost done with school.

did my nails...looking pretty cute. 

05/02/2021 11:17 PM 

almost there...
Current mood:  bouncy

wow! these past few days have been pretty ok! 

i worked pretty much all day on friday, but work is so enjoyable when that boss is there. i like those days a lot, me, him, my fave coworker...so much fun when we all sit and talk together when the store is slow haha. then, afterwards i hung with a friend i hadn't seen in a while; me, her, and my sis got all you can eat sushi 

anyways, while we were hanging out, she mentioned some liqour store we live by doesn't id so i thought on saturday i'd stop after work (work on sat was also pretty good!) and test that out...well, she was right...

got some white claws and drank with my friend and his girlfriend. watched some of the sopranos while i was over there. had a pretty good time and left pretty late haha

today though, i woke up pretty early (weird considering how much i drank and how late i got home...), watched some tv with my brother, then went with a friend to panera so we could both get some school work done. i got most of my work done...i only have a paper due wednesay and some bullsh*t evaluation also due on wednesday. guess my lit prof is holding lectures on mon and wed...why...

anywho! just having some wine and enjoying myself. no work all week! and i only have two things before im done with the semester! 

04/29/2021 09:19 PM 

good day...
Current mood:  blissful

Ah, today was nice. had a friend over, had some good food, lots of coffee, and a good time. i did her nails for her and they came out so good! so excited to do my nails when my stones arrive...my nails are so grown out lol

drank a bit and watching the sopranos before i go to bed. might read some.

overall, nice day. : )

04/28/2021 09:57 PM 

oof
Current mood:  blissful

bruh...crazy day...

read outside, then went to the beach w/ mom, then read some more outside when we got home. it was so relaxing... 

but! i wanted to go to target to get some stuff and there was a spider on my leg! damn near crashed into the car in front of me...a damn audi. i called my girlfriend bc i was panicking so much lmfao. asked a guy for help, said he didn't see it. but then! a janitor came out from the bank (where i was parked) and he helped me! ah! i hope he has a good blessing.

went to target anyways, got my stuff. now im feeling pretty...tipsy....
 
ok! well here's something that i wrote bc im in my feelings:
 

You don’t know? I don’t know why I expected any different…

Sorry, but I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Figures.

Whatever it is, I’m sure you’ve gotten over it by now, haven’t you?

I…I don’t know…

No? You’re telling me you still worry about something from when you were so young? Why?

Because someone who I thought was important to me completely turned their back on me.

Thought? I wasn’t important to you?

You were…maybe you were too important to me. Still, you completely left me hanging and without an explanation. It still drives me insane! I can’t figure out why you accused me of lying to you.

You hated me after that, right? We couldn’t talk after that…even a whole year after when I tried to talk with you, you were the one to turn your back to me.

You do remember! Why’d you say you didn’t?

Let me ask you something. Why do you think I did that? Accused you of lying to me?

I don’t know! I thought maybe you wanted to get me to admit to anything I might’ve been hiding from you, but you were too embarrassed to come crawling back to me when it didn’t work.

Is that what you thought? That’s funny.

Funny? Don’t laugh at me.

I’m not laughing at you. 

So, why’d you do it? Or are you going to tell me you don’t remember that either.

You had become so dependent on me at that time—No, I don’t know if that’s right, but you had become complicit. You could do anything you wanted as long as you came and talked to me after. Then, it felt like things were different I was like a priest that can’t do anything when a criminal comes to confession over and over.

What are you talking about?

You came to me almost everyday and told me what you did. For five months. And nothing changed. You weren’t getting better?

So accusing me of lying was your way out? You abandoned me! You were one of the only adults I could trust at the time!

I know, but what happened after that?

We grew apart. All whole relationship, our rapport, was completely ruined. 

What happened to you afterward?

I...I stopped doing any of those things. It felt childish.

Don’t you see?

See what?

You were leaning on me too much. Or rather, hiding behind me. I was hindering you. I knew you wouldn’t very well just stop on your own or just stop talking to me. I had to get you to stop talking to me, to stop liking me, so you could recover.

What? What is that supposed to mean?

It worked, didn’t it?

For the time being, I suppose, but I only…

I couldn’t sit by and watch you keep hurting yourself. If you getting better meant you hating me then…

It was on purpose? You wanted me to hate you?

I wanted you to recover and get better in spite of me. Sometimes I wish I hadn’t done it, but I wasn’t sure what else would work. 

I’m not sure it did. It worked for a bit, but I don’t think it stuck. Plus, you realize how much energy and thought I’ve put towards trying to figure out why you did it? Everytime someone comes up with a malicious reason, I end up defending you! I always defended you!

I didn’t ask you to.

And I’m still defending you! I still want to pretend you did this for some virtuous reason! I still don’t know why you did it!

You’ll never know. Maybe that’s the point.

I refuse to accept that! I keep going on thinking “maybe...maybe I’ll get the chance to speak with him again”.

But you won’t. 

I know that, but I keep on thinking I will.

 

04/27/2021 06:05 PM 

beach tomorrow
Current mood:  excited

it's supposed to be super nice out where i live tomorrow. me and mom are going to the beach.... it's her bday too...

been reading nana all day, as usual. maybe i'll do all my work on thursday; i'll go to some coffee shop or barnes and noble and get it all done maybe... i have work on friday and saturday and 3/4 of my assingments are due on sunday night...

anyways, i'm probably going to continue reading nana, i'm past the part where the anime ends so i'm super interested in what happens next. i also want to write a bit and work on something...

mmm. also i found out you don't get id'ed for buying cooking wine at target....funny. it's too salty. 

04/26/2021 10:33 PM 

nana
Current mood:  contemplative

still reading nana... 

very upsetting seeing ren struggling with drugs, totally forgot about that. although kinda weird that yazawa made it weed that that he'd addicted to mostly, but anyway. 

I wish I could write something like Nana; I think that'd be pretty cool. 

Anyways, I have two papers and a final for history to do.  but then I'm done with the semester! 

04/26/2021 03:54 PM 

mmm
Current mood:  jealous

wishing i were in nana bruh.... i wanan live in a cute apartment. that is all..........

04/26/2021 03:21 PM 

coffee
Current mood:  hot

wanting iced coffee...

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