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Last Login:
September 28th, 2022




Gender: Female

Age: 21
Signup Date:
April 26, 2021


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09/28/2022 06:47 PM 

in class...

Well...I'm in class right now...I lied and said I had to get my car jump started. I just couldn't do a two-and-a-half-hour class. I just didn't want to sit there that long...plus I wanted more time to drink. I'll probably have 2-3 beers when I get home and watch some FUTURUAMA!!!

Well, my first observation with my co-op teacher and my mentor went very well! I wanted to cry after because I thought they were gonna give me some big lecture about how badly I did. But! We hung out in the teachers' lounge and I was told how well I did! We just mostly talked about teaching and other things...so I guess that means good!

Thinking about being a real teacher makes me nervous. I'm not sure if I even wanna do it anymore, but well...that's OK.

My friend and I made up. He bought us sushi! That night was so enjoyable. 

Two nights ago I got high and literally blacked out. I drank so much beforehand because I didn't know I was gonna smoke. Still enjoyed myself though and got home pretty early!

There's this kid (he's older than me) who reminds me so much of my old English teacher. Autistic and fat and all...

I would do anything to see my old English teacher. I really wish we could talk about the book I'm writing right now... I would love that so much! Alas, it is confined to my fantasies.

Well, that's about it! I'll update again. Hopefully...

09/21/2022 05:12 PM 

mcr tonight!
Current mood:  excited

So! I did not update last night as I had thought I was going to do.... 

But! Yesterday was uhm...interesting....

Coffee with my professor was great! It felt surprisingly casual and I stayed for one of her lectures afterward...a literary criticism class that I took last semester, just not with her. Then, I went to my friend's house afterward, which started out fine. Then, there was some small "argument", he got all broody and then had some bitch fit. He texted me this morning to apologize, but I'm not even sure how to respond. He made a very rude comment just to purposefully be an a**hole...but I make him feel bad...oh well...

I'll probably find some way to respond but I'm not even sure how to apologize for what he's mad at me about. He's just a p**sy LMAO

Anyway, I had pretty much the day off today bc my co-op teacher couldn't make it to school, but... I'm seeing My Chemical Romance tonight!!! I'm so excited! Right now I'm pregaming before I go with my sister and her friend.

I'll have to find some way to respond to my friend without being rude, or else we'll just get into it again. I think I'll just have to bring up that I have never once purposefully made an a**hole out of him to be mean, as he did to me. 

Anyway, that's all for now!​​​​​​​

09/19/2022 08:51 PM 

senior year
Current mood:  drunk

WHERE to start!

Well, it's my senior year! I'm interning at a high school near me (BHS...all I'll say...) and it's going pretty well. I have to go two days a week, but only went once last week and might only go once this week (or do one and a half) since I have been sick...and my teacher's son has been sick.

My co-op teacher and I get along SO WELL. I really couldn't have asked for a better placement. At least not a random one.

I got myself a new macbook today! My first NEW macbook. I already love it so much and I find myself getting very acquainted with laptops very easily. My surface book is on the fritz and my chromebook isn't like...good enough to really function as an everyday laptop for a college student. At least not one who's not in community college anymore. 

Also! I am somehow not a virgin anymore! HAHA. Finally. What an annoyance that was.

Out to both of my parents now...4/5 siblings know about my gf...just haven't told my oldest brother cause it's awkward as hell.

I always think I'd like to keep this blog better updated because I enjoy looking back at it, but it's not like I don't remember the gaps...I guess at some point I won't remember them. 

I started a book in October of last year...can't remember if I mentioned that? I'd really like to get it finished by the end of senior year...here's to hoping! I think I might start setting aside time to write everyday. It's either that or never get it done.

ALSO omg! I am going to have coffee with my old Shakespeare prof from last semester. I MUST remember to write tomorrow night about that. Also, I'd like to have this blog to document my clinicals for my cert.

As of right now, I am obsessed with futurama! Let's see how long that lasts LOL
Current mood isn't correct but soon it will be! Time to go write some fanfiction and then hit the booze. 

02/03/2022 07:27 PM 

l ron hubbard lol
Current mood:  drunk

drunk ... or trying to get there...

I stopped working with my old "boss" LMAO. kinda a while ago. I actually realized I don't think about him as often. My last day was unceremonious. 

Whatever. Also, I have been trying to write a good book. I hope it's good. I'm having such bad writer's block.

I was reading my older posts. I thought in my last post I was talking about my boss, Peter, from my old job...I realized I was not...I also realized a ton of my posts involve me getting drunk or tipsy. oops. I wish I was 21. Cooking wine is so gross and annoying. angry

Let's see...updates....I kissed a girl!!!! Jen  We've been on like three "dates" and I finally f***ing asked to kiss her. I thought maybe she just said yes because she was was nervous. Then, she said, "wait!" and beckoned me to kiss her more. I hope I see her this weekend, I'd love to kiss her more.

Going out with my friend, Jana, tomorrow. Might see  Ant's show in montclair....hopefully, the weather holds out.

Alright, the subject....

I've been reading the Mission Earth series from L Ron Hubbard and I'm grossly obsessed. I've read like 4 (almost 5) books in one week from him. I started the series on Jan 18 and I'm prob gonna finish book 6 tonight. Book 6 is kinda...not as good. I feel weird about liking it. Supposedly some of his books aren't written by him...I don't care. It's so f***ing good. And the same person must have written it. But, because of the content, I feel like Hubbard wrote it himself. Ordered some more sci-fi...Campbell, Bradbury, Hubbard...gonna make a serious effort to read sci-fi since I say I love it.

Alright....time to watch videos about dangan ronpa, get more drunk (or drunk instead of tipsy lol), and then read.

BYE
 

10/05/2021 01:36 PM 

tipsy….?
Current mood:  drunk

So! I haven't been really talking to my BOSS, I guess.

Right now, I am drunk with my roommates and their friends and boyfriend, watching a scary movie. It's pretty sh*tty. We just finished a different sh*tty scary movie. One of my roommate's boyfriend reminds me so much of my ex-bf.

Anwyays, tomorrow is my FOURTH day at my old school. My boss seems to be talking to me less and less, not really acknowledging me unless he has to...I think he can tell how I'm feeling kinda.

Might start using a dating app if I can get enough good photos of myself...

Im kinda drink and I'm typing on my phone ... so BYE....

09/17/2021 11:27 PM 

feelin weird
Current mood:  sad

Well, it's been a long time. I'll leave all the updating aside, since this blog is for me to vent and such.

Anyway, let's get into it.

A while ago I had written a ficticious dialogue between me and an old teacher of mine. We had a very close relationship where I leaned on him heavily for supported and trusted him completely and utterly. Later on, he accused me of lying but never said why. Our relationship had ended there. I was never sure why he did that or what he had thought I lied about. Even still to this day, I am unsure.

These past seven, eight years I've thought about him a lot. I always have. I couldn't grapple witht the fact that things had ended the way they did. I racked my brain for a reason why he accused me of lying, but it didn't matter as I would never know what was the real reason. 

I had always felt like he and I would see each other again, at some point. Whether we bumped into each other, worked somewhere together, or anything else. I always knew my path would lead to him again...

This past tuesday I saw him. I am working at the school he is still at (now the principal) at least one day a week. I am not working closely with him, but obviously I will be seeing him.

When he first came into the room I was, he greeted me. I was surprised he called me by my nickname and not my full name (which almost zero people call me). He asked about college and such. I couldn't even look at him. I averted my gaze and focused on the paperwork I had to fill out. I was nice, of course. I had to be.

Later in the day, he spoke to me again. There was a brief exchange, a bit of our old banter, and then he left. 

I hate myself for letting things feel normal. It almost didn't feel like we had this heavy history between us. It almost felt like things ended on good terms. I suppose I am going to be seeing once a week most likely. I might be there more...I'm not sure just yet.

All this time I've been saying I wished I could have one more chance to speak with him and here I have it. I fear that he will run and ask my mom (also works at the school) why the hell I am pressing him about something that happened almost a decade ago. I can't believe I'm going to waste this oppurtinity. How can I possibly look at him and talk to him without blurting out something I'll regret? I'm so angry with him and I just want answers, but there I was warming up to his charm. Perhaps he thinks I've forgotten all about it.

But I haven't. I still question why he turned his back on me. I still defend him whenever someone bashes him but just as quickly I bash him when someone defends him.

My mom said he cared a lot about me and tried his best. I think he lied to her. I'm not sure I ever fully explain what happened between us. 

05/20/2021 06:19 PM 

mmmm
Current mood:  calm

haven't updated in a while! but ive been hanging with friends a lot that i haven't always hung w since high school. it's been so great.

I had pretty much two weeks off from work but im back tomorrow! let's hope things are nice.

so glad to be done with school. work doesn't seem so bad anymore, because my days off are ALL MY OWN!

tried a new beer....dogfish head ipa...it was so ass, but i don't know....i'd drink it again haha

05/08/2021 12:51 PM 

done with school
Current mood:  hot

ah! so i'm done with this semester! im transferring colleges in the fall, so we'll see what that's like. finished my last paper (some pretty long lit paper about some play i read in high school) and then got drunk to celebrate haha

it's getting to be that time of the year where my room is always hot lmfao. too much to bear sometimes

anyways, i just finished getting some of my room organized. I organized all my nail stuff/desk and got rid of a lot of things I wasn't using. i just need to get my old desk out of my room...

i also have so much f***ing clothes to wash...i might just take it all to the laundromat and say f*** it....we'll see...

i wanna get my room looking nice so i can do something with all the sh*t i buy and also have ppl over in my room. plus, my mom is always saying "you know gab, if you keep your room nice you could always keep a coffee machine with you" haha, so that's pretty tempting.

i don't dorm or anything like that, so i have at minimum two more years in this room (and that's being super conservative...as if i'll move out instantly after graduating...) so i'd like to make it somewhere i can enjoy being. 

mother's day soon! maybe i'll see if my mom wants to get a mani-pedi...

05/03/2021 09:30 PM 

tipsy

today was ok. didn't do much 

feeling pretty tipsy now. don't have work until like two weeks from now, i think. almost done with school.

did my nails...looking pretty cute. 

05/02/2021 11:17 PM 

almost there...
Current mood:  bouncy

wow! these past few days have been pretty ok! 

i worked pretty much all day on friday, but work is so enjoyable when that boss is there. i like those days a lot, me, him, my fave coworker...so much fun when we all sit and talk together when the store is slow haha. then, afterwards i hung with a friend i hadn't seen in a while; me, her, and my sis got all you can eat sushi 

anyways, while we were hanging out, she mentioned some liqour store we live by doesn't id so i thought on saturday i'd stop after work (work on sat was also pretty good!) and test that out...well, she was right...

got some white claws and drank with my friend and his girlfriend. watched some of the sopranos while i was over there. had a pretty good time and left pretty late haha

today though, i woke up pretty early (weird considering how much i drank and how late i got home...), watched some tv with my brother, then went with a friend to panera so we could both get some school work done. i got most of my work done...i only have a paper due wednesay and some bullsh*t evaluation also due on wednesday. guess my lit prof is holding lectures on mon and wed...why...

anywho! just having some wine and enjoying myself. no work all week! and i only have two things before im done with the semester! 

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