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09/22/2023
Current mood:
 aggravated
Today has not been a good day, but it's okay. Jami is the worst. She treats me horribly. She told da that she bullies me to make me move out sooner. She also said that i am nothing to her and i'm getting the way of her and das life. But it’s fine, I'll be gone in December anyway. I’m just glad that at that point I won't have to talk to her anymore. She really pissed me off. I went to the store only to get beagles last night because I didn't want to be around her. It's insane and now my relationship with my dad is ruined. I mean if he doesn't protect me against that what else will he not protect me against. It wouldn't be the first time he chose her over me. I mean he left me with candice cause Jamie didn't want to take care of me while he worked. Its so f***ing annoying, plus she thinks she can blame it all on her meds and it will all be fine. Also it doesn't help that she always tells me how dumb I am. She also told me that I deserved to be mistreated by bailey. What hurts the most is that I almost thought I could have had another mom. I guess I don't deserve a mom at all. Now my tv is broken as well which puts me in an even worse mood. Also I can either ask dad for the extra one or use my sh*tty fricken laptop. I almost was gonna buy a new one but Jamie is always asking for more money. Also she complains that they don't matter to me but she literally treats me like sh*t why would I want to spend my day off slash birthday there. So now I'm gonna leave in December for Bozeman with Jack and start a new life again. I don't know if my dads gonna be in my life or not after that though. Jami probably won't let him because I moved out so I'm not his problem anymore. It really hurts to think he might not talk to me after this due to jamie. I guess I learned to never fully trust anyone, especially when they're trying to act like your mom. Also I now don't even have a relationship with my sisters. It's so sad because every time I try I'm always caught up in the drama with jamie. It almost makes me want to write letters to them through email all the time. Also at the same time i don't even want to bother them with my life. I really don't want to do anything that makes them uncomfortable. I might start one for dad Emma and other people as well. It's so hard cause Jamie is always getting on about how im such a failure but she always set me up to fail. I mean I was going to be homeschooled but she never did anything to help me. I didn't know what I was doing. Then she was supposed to set me up for the alternative school but she ended up not letting me go cause I had to work. Now I'm a middle school drop out and I have nothing. I don't have a license because they don't have a vehicle and she said I didn't need it. So now I have to try my best to get my permit on the first try so that I can drive down to bozeman. Also getting to work. I'm so excited to move out though. I won't have to deal with any more bullsh*t. I'm a little nervous about living with Jack's mom. She is super nice but I don't want to invade her space or make her disapprove. I love Jack so much I don't want anything to happen to us. The worst part is my parents don't approve of him so if we break up i just go back home. I can't wait to start a new adventure with him. He really is the best part of everyday life. He fills me with so much joy and happiness. All I can say is I'm so excited to be in his life. .I am now trying to find a plan to get my GED. I found a program that will teach me everything I need to know. I have everything set up so i can study for my HISET. They'll be here on the 20th. I'm excited but stressed at the same time. I can't believe that i haven gotten it done yet. I think it's my hate for Jamie really just trying to prove her wrong ya know. So now I've practically written a full essay about life this past week slash year. Honestly I can say I hate life a little bit when I'm home. .
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loved
accomplished