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May 23rd, 2024



Gender: Other
Age: 18
Sign: Capricorn
Country: Canada

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February 15, 2021

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12/12/2023 03:10 PM 

blog 12/12/23
Current mood:  sick

hey everyone, ive been so busy with school ): 
im currently sick with what i thik is a chest infection. ive been finding it hard to do much because ive been out of breath. i think im starting to get depressed again, or maybe its derealization. time is going by so fast. i wouldve said it wasnt that long ago i updated this but its been months. i turn 18 next month. thats actually sickening wtf. 

ive had a lot happen since i updated this. me and one of my bestfriends stopped being friends after 12 years of friendship. its a lot to get into though. because of this i also lost another really close friend. my best friend since middle school barely talks to me. we havent seen each other since august and that was only for a little bit. i think the last time we had a sleep over was my birthday. but because of all this ive gotten a lot closer to my other friend who ive been close friends with since the beginning of freshman year. i consider her my bestfriend though i dont know if she considers me hers. 

i havent really been out of the house for a while since ive been sick. my bestfriend abby wasnt feeling well while i was going to school so i havent seen her in a while. im starting to get a bit lonely tbh. i havent really spoken to anyone in 2 weeks. ive been messaging a new friend a lot though. i like being friends with this person, we both love music and have similar types too. its nice to finally have someone to talk about metal music with. 

speaking of music i recently got a bunch of cd's to add to the collection. 

christmas is soon but it doesnt really feel like christmas tbh. i miss christmas as a kid. 

i think thats all for now. i have another doctors appointment tomorrow i think. i need to go about being sick and get the results from my EKG.

you know you love me,
xoxo, gossip girl 

ps. ive literally never watched gossip girl so i dont know why i always sign off like that 


 

08/16/2023 08:10 PM 

blog post 08/16/23
Current mood:  accomplished

Finally got my new desk in! I'm planning on buying some cool new drawer knobs because the ones on it now aren't my style. School starts soon and im not excited about that. Normally I'm excited to get school supplies but my mom has been stocking up on stuff so I wouldn't have to go out and get stuff. I appreciate the effort but I love buying my stuff ): I need very specific notebooks/pens/pencils because 1) I hold my pencils weird, 2) I need smooth writing because I write in cursive and 3) Notes are like the only way I can study. I think she got basic hilroy stuff buttttt she did get my favourite mechanical pencils :3 I think thats all for now. 

08/07/2023 06:55 PM 

blog post 08/07/23
Current mood:  accomplished

Today I got my dresser pushed in and I got two bins of stuff sorted and thrown out. I've started putting stuff back in my closet and in my plastic storage dresser (?) I put away all my vinyls too. I went through all my bags and threw out the stuff I didn't need and garbage. I washed my bookbag too. It feels good to finally have my room back. 

I've been feeling much better too. I ate breakfast and supper today. 

I still haven't done anything with anyone yet. I can't even get anyone to answer my facetimes and play roblox T^T

anyway, XOXO gossip girl

08/06/2023 05:51 PM 

blog post 08/06/23
Current mood:  accomplished

I just noticed for the last few blogs I've been putting 09 instead of 08; it's August ToT 

That's beside the point, we finally got my closet completely cleaned out and cleaned. I started putting things back in my closet too. I got the first basket of laundry put away and I sorted and threw out some more stuff. I cleaned all the stuff off of the top of my mini book shelf and cleaned it. The desk is scheduled to be put in for Wednesday. My dad has to paint it because it didn't come in black haha. 

I'm so happy I finally opened up about how my room makes me feel and that I asked for help. I really didn't want help, I wanted to prove I wasn't useless. I think getting my room cleaned has been improving my health a lot. 

I'm so excited for my room to be clean so I can get decorate it with posters and photos :3

That's all for now, XOXO gossip girl 

08/06/2023 05:51 PM 

blog post 08/06/23
Current mood:  accomplished

I just noticed for the last few blogs I've been putting 09 instead of 08; it's August ToT 

That's beside the point, we finally got my closet completely cleaned out and cleaned. I started putting things back in my closet too. I got the first basket of laundry put away and I sorted and threw out some more stuff. I cleaned all the stuff off of the top of my mini book shelf and cleaned it. The desk is scheduled to be put in for Wednesday. My dad has to paint it because it didn't come in black haha. 

I'm so happy I finally opened up about how my room makes me feel and that I asked for help. I really didn't want help, I wanted to prove I wasn't useless. I think getting my room cleaned has been improving my health a lot. 

I'm so excited for my room to be clean so I can get decorate it with posters and photos :3

That's all for now, XOXO gossip girl 

08/05/2023 10:22 PM 

blog post pt.3 09/05/23
Current mood:  anxious

My dresser finally got done. I washed it and everything. 

I wish I could just vent about something but I can't just post it incase they find it 

08/05/2023 07:03 PM 

blog post pt.2 09/05/23
Current mood:  blah

I felt sick again today (っ °Д °;)っ

Anyway, there's supposed to be lightning tonight, there's been a lot of lightning recently. 

As for my room, the entire floor has been done and has been vacuumed and mopped. My dresser is almost cleaned off and then it just needs to be wiped down. All the drawers are clean though. All my laundry is washed and folded. My bed has fresh sheets on it. I've been going through all my stuff and sorting/getting rid of things I dont need. My closet floor is cleaned and mopped. It feels a lot better knowing that it's finally getting done. 

Not much else to say. 


 

08/05/2023 02:03 PM 

blog post 09/05/23
Current mood:  awake

It's 3am right now and I can't sleep. 

I love certain things about friendproject but I just logged into my spacehey account and it's so much easier to customize your profile T^T

08/04/2023 06:38 PM 

blog post 09/04/23
Current mood:  ashamed

So, I got more of my room done today and I'm so ashamed of how bad it is >.< 

It's getting done though. 

Not a whole lot to say other than that. 


 

08/03/2023 12:52 PM 

blog post 09/03/23
Current mood:  accomplished

My room hasn't been completely cleaned in years and has gotten increasingly bad the past year or so. Without going into too much detail I ended up going to the psychward (not gonna get into this now) in February 2022. In March 2022 my senior cat, Eric, passed away. My parents had had him since before I was born so up until his death I had never lived a day without him. I took that pretty hard. Unfortuneatly, that same week my ex broke up with me. It was my first real breakup and my first love so it took a huge toll on me. This lead to my worst depressive episode which lasted for months. I also was really sick for three months, had a concussion and had to speed run grade 11 academic math in two weeks because my teacher basically thought I was skipping and that I was a hooligan??? ToT. So as you can imagine I didn't have time to clean my room and had honestly given up on it. This leads me to the point of making this post; It's finally getting done. 

I didn't want my mom going in my room to get rid of stuff because she has a bit of a track record of snooping. She's been threatening to go in and throw everything in the trash and I managed to stop her by telling her I was going to get it done on my own. But things have been building up and the other day I just broke down. I cried about how awful it is and how miserable it makes me feel. It's embaressing. My mom kind of triggered this by saying how bad my room had gotten. I said no matter how hard I tried it always got worse and I just gave up on myself. I told her I didn't want her to help me with my room because of the comments she has already made and what happened last time I asked her to help me with part of my room; and over all that I honestly didn't know what we'd find in here and how embaressing it is. She apologized and promised me it wouldn't be like that this time. 

Today we started on my room, I didn't do much other then sort some things and rinse bottles and cans that were in my room. I wasn't able to help with much anyway because of how weak I am from not being able to eat for the past 2 weeks :/. Yesterday my mom got all my laundry washed and dryed and today we got most of my floor done. There's still stuff on my floor but in behind and under all of my furniture is done so that's still impressive. I stripped my bed and I had my brother help me put the spare sheets on my bed. 

I still feel really sick but so far today I haven't had to take extra stomach medication. 
XOXO, gossip girl 

ps. look how cute depressed L is (,: 

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