super lonely girl time! :D

so uhh today i was talking with one of the discord servers im in, and it has mostly boys. theyre pretty chill, and not sexist racist or homophobic which is surprising but rly good :) ive never really caught anyone simping for me, and then one guy asked why, and another responded saying "is mari really a girl anymore?" idk why but that kinda upset me cuz like why cant i be girly and have boy friends? im super active on it and tend to make jokes that contain 18+ content osihfdosihfd (like h3nta1 n stuff) and also reference video game things and overall steriotypical things guys talk about ig? so maybe thats why they said that but idk i still dont feel very settled with it. also one of my good friends on discord completely ditched not just me but our entire server :( i tend to overshare a lot so maybe thats why? we werent just talking in the server, we were dming eachother which i guess is why I assumed we were actually freinds instead of just on the same server. he had a girl he wuz dating and i kinda gave relationship advice ig? and cheered him on but mostly made fun of him cuz my online persona is just agressive a**hole (but in a nice way yk?) idk i thought we were friends but then he just peaced out and i haven't seen him since. i never had any *romantic*  feelings for him and im preettttyyy sure he didn't have any for me? i thought he did at first cuz he asked for what girls want in boys, but turns out he just wanted to impress his crush (thats now his gf) but i feel kinda sad he left :( anyways other than that back to the topic (super lonely girl time) i rly havent had much happenings with the boys ahshaha so i guess ill list them: one guy asked me for my number when i was half asleep on the way back from a summer camp but at the time i didnt have a phone lol so i said no, and one kid may have asked me out onetime? idk he asked if i could go downtown with him and his friends downtown after school, but my moms strict and i didn't have a phone to ask her so i declined. yeah thats kinda it. i didnt have a phone for all of middle school so maybe that could've added to it. other than that there may be times where boys have flirted with me but my dumbass just didnt know . idk if yall wanna hear a lonely girl story time but hereeee yoouuuu go annyywwayyss :D 

So I had a crush on this guy who sat across the table from me in history class. He was a goof, and I thought he was nice. Oops. Before I had lent him a pen I really liked and spent a lot of money on. When he returned it, it was completely broken and had a part torn off. I wasn’t mad cuz I liked him ig. Then it was Valentine’s Day. We had a pop quiz in history, but we were allowed to work together with our table groups. I worked on it quietly at the beginning, but later we all started sharing answers. I was well prepared and kinda smart tbh. So my crush (who didn’t really pay much attention in class) asked me for a lot of answers. I submitted my test, got 100%, and announced it to my table group cuz i was a proud mf. Ig my heard it so he decided to fugging move over to my seat!! My heart was dykakyskyayla. :D He said “I’m gonna move over here cuz..... ur cool.” My friend who I told her I had a crush on him was at a different table group but was very close by me, and heard that, and overall saw what was going on. So she shot me little 🥴🥴 looks. Then my crush was kinda looking over my shoulder CLOSE TO ME KGSOTAOST. So uh yeah, hopeless romantic me was melting. My face was prolly 100 degrees. After class my friend was like “OMG HE LIKES U AHH” And I was kinda like “I KNOW I HOPE JGXJ” However, my dumbass didn’t realize that the entire time he just wanted the answers to the test. when he said “imma move over here cuz your.... cool” it meant “imma move over here cuz i want a good grade on the test” SO YEAH! Im kinda hopeless lol